Sorry because I am a bit tiring. I have doubts about “no contact rule” in my case. In my understanding your theory is based on the fact that there were happy moments in the relationship and after a while people tend to remember the good memories, the overall picture and forget about the problems (eg. clinginess, small debates), the small negative details. My relationship with this man though was about great sex and awful debates right afterwards (since I was fighting against my own feelings), therefore the overall picture is not good. There were no happy moments in this relationship with the exception of sex. Basically, I can say only the sexual attraction kept it alive at all for 3 months. And I am aware that sexual attraction can fade away fast so what remains is the overall negative picture. Am I not right?
Now go back over your test and count all of the even-numbered questions to which you answered True. Write down the total. Now go back and count all of the odd-numbered items to which you answered False. Add that number to your “True total” to get your overall score.
My main suggestion is to keep doing more of what you have been doing, that is, talking openly, letting go of any pressuring of each other, appreciating and enjoying the positive sides of your relationship, and taking on faith that if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
I now find myself wondering what the best way forward is, although he has given me some hope by saying that he still wants to date and try and rekindle the spark he has also crushed any hope I have by moving further away from me and saying that ok ye we’ll date but it might not actually lead to our relationship being given another go. I now find myself in this weird limbo where I don’t really know what to do and crying on a daily basis! I have read your article and have found it very helpful. Could you advice what you think would be best to do? Thanks.
If you can’t trust her right now, and there are major issues with the relationship, even chasing her and getting her back now would yield the same result as the previous time (in August). If you get back together with her, ideally you want the relationship to be better than before, not the same or what’s the point? THIS is why you should leave it alone for now and disregard whatever your instincts are telling you because it isn’t the way to win her back or sustain a lasting relationship. Work on your issues first and complete NC, then win her back with the changed you.
My apologies, I must have missed that point. Yes, Dan is right. You shouldn’t let what she did in the time you guys were broken up affect you, because she was free to do whatever she wanted back then. The important thing is that now she’s with you, it doesn’t continue to happen. If it’s an issue that’s bothering you, sit down and have a talk with her to tell her how you feel, and find a way to compromise so that respect for one another can be earned. As Dan had also mentioned, her lack of respect for you was probably attributed to the past relationship and how you acted. Ideally, if you followed no contact rule, you should have worked on those issues by now, and made some significant changes in your life which would change the way she views you.
Thank you. So you are saying it won’t be a bad move considering his ex wife is going to be on his mind that day and it will be the end of an era? Will it not make him think that I am pouncing on him the moment he is available? Or it will come across as me being there for him on a hard day, irrepsective of what has happened between us? Is there a chance he will think I am inconsiderate to message him that day to bring myself into the day as well?
Nothing is certain and there’s no way of knowing for sure, but this quiz is based on years of experience in factors that make getting back together easier and it can give you an idea of where you stand in terms of what chance you might have of getting back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend after a break up. Please start below and be sure to answer the questions honestly as the situation really is and not how you want things to be so that you can get the most accurate picture of what is really the case. Again, nothing can be promised or guaranteed, but it’s helpful to know the probability and difficulty or ease you will have moving forward with trying to get your love to come back to you after a break up and this quiz will help you in that area.
Many texts went back and forth he stated he was in a bad place he is drinking too much and angry at his ex. he said his heart wasn’t in it with me. He asked me to give him time, he said he wanted me to meet the real him and not the angry guy he is now. He wants to bring me on romantic weekends away and surprise dates when he gets his head straight. He stated he was only dating me and had no interest in dating sites. He asked me to give him time stating he really liked me. I asked him to delete any naughty texts etc we sent each other he said he was sad deleting them and would miss spending time with me. I did did not reply two hours later he texted again asking me to give him time and said please don’t hate me. I told him to sort his head out and id look forward to meeting the real him but told him not to take too long. He said he wouldn’t as he really liked me. All his messages were signed off with an x.
Since you work together, it would be good to show him how well you’re doing and how happy you are whenever he sees you. This is similar to displaying it on social media during the no contact period of the changes you’ve made to yourself except in real life.
It would depend on your knowledge regarding what she seeks for in life. If the financial security it something more important to her, then you might want to consider walking away as it will be hard to compete with her boss on this aspect. If you know that she may be going through a tough time, and merely needs momentary financial support desperately that you cannot provide, then you could consider a second shot if given the chance. However, do bear in mind that she walked away from you once already, and if you get back with her, she may do the same again if ever she needs something you cannot provide.
True intimacy runs deeper than sex and physical affection. It develops from love, trust, respect and acceptance. Relationships naturally experience ebbs and flows in intimacy, so take this quiz to gauge just how intimate your relationship is.
Thanks. We did text yesterday he said he had a crazy week because his dog was stolen. I’m not sure how often we should text at this point in time? Obviously I want to rebuild connection, it’s a little hard because he isn’t much of a texter. What should I talk about to rebuild connection?
I am usually into elder people and i have strong like really strong feelings for my math teacher like ….? I saw him and zoned out and started dreaming he doesn’t teach me but I’m allowed to ask any doubts if I have from him. Well the good thing is I started studing math coz Im like good in bio chem n physics but hate math n dont study it but I eventually end up getting good grades in both.I love him n thats a big thing for me.I m not nerdy I m suoe friendly every1 in school knows me I am popular but at the same time good in studies. I am completely aware that this relationship cant be possibble but I cant study sometimes but heck i love him
These 18 questions can also give you a peek inside your ex’s current thought process. Find out what’s motiving your ex to stay distant from you, and learn EXACTLY the reasons why he or she may have broken up with you in the first place.
Since you guys shared a meaningful relationship, there would be a chance for you guys getting back together but you have to work on those issues first or the same problems would occur again. I suggest applying NC and spending time and focus on those issues like trust, insecurities and overthinking. Understand why you feel this way and try to change it. The best thing you can contribute in getting back together is to change yourself as that’s always the most effective.
i am an 18 year old male, i broke up with my ex girlfriend almost 3 months ago, we was together almost 5 years, we had a strong bond but we went through an unfortunate abortion, during this situation she got attached to the baby im her stomach but wasnt finacially stable to take care of a child, her anxiety got really bad and she pushed me away and wouldnt let me near her, after almost a month of this she broke up with me stating that she had lost feelings and doesnt want to be with me anymore, we have broken up and got back together alot in the past, but this time is different, i acted irrational and constantly begged and stated how upset and lonely i was without her, i irratated her to the point of she blocked me on afew social medias, but she left 1 line of communication open via instagram, i often message her but she doesnt reply but she reads the messages, if she doesnt look at the message fast enough i panic and irratate her with more, she then replies with “Go away, leave me alone, move on i want you to” i ask her why we broke up and all she says is ‘everything’ thats all she says, i truley believe there is a chance but she is being too stubon to admit it, im really confused and in a bad place, there was never any cheating, im so worried that the no contact rule will not work, although if it doesnt im still in the same place im in now so what can get worse… i read alot of these getting ex back websites but im never really satisfied with the information as every situation is very different, i really do want her back, and the relationship will be great if i get the chance to reconcile it, im really in need of some help im looking forward to your help and also the no contact daily email help as i need as much help as i can get.
What would you suggest for me now? I bombarded him with texts and calls yesterday and then this morning I text him apologising for what he said, and I also said I wouldn’t contact him again. It’s been two and a half months since he contacted me. I’m so depressed. How do I go about this now? I think he might have found someone new.