We are both still in love. We go to separate colleges and things got harder and now she’s depressed and feels like she doesn’t love herself anymore so we broke up so she could love herself and it was the hardest thing to let her go. I know that I want her and I want her back but she needs time.

I been strting this guy for one year n than he went through my phone and sow that i was chatting to this other guy bt nothng was goin on betwn me and the other guy…i begged him so many times after our break up he goes back to his ex galfriend and they dating again…we stil chat on whatsapp and facebook but everytime this galfriend comes over his place he would tell me n than block me…he says he stil loves me bt love the other gal more…i love him so much but dnt know what to do…plz adive me plz

You are going to call him with the intention of only going out for a small get together. The key here is to be non threatening. Your ex boyfriend might not be as receptive to meeting you somewhere extravagant and out of his way.

I am in to helping women who want a lasting relationship with their boyfriends. This may sound goofy but I like those women who so strongly believe that they are going to be together with their exes for good that they are willing to try anything.

Peter did a lot of studying of couple skills on his own via books and a website.  At the same time, he had a therapist for guidance when he felt stuck and to help him with insights and deeper subconscious change.  Finding a therapy professional to help you through this kind of crisis can be helpful, provided it is a therapist who helps you to see and rectify your relationship mistakes.

Start by not contacting him any further. Apply No contact to give yourself some distance from the situation and to give him space. Spend this time to work on yourself and improve your life. Right now he is dating someone else, and you should not interfere, because it will lead to him thinking you’re desperate and start getting annoyed or resentful towards you. If you really want to be with him, you’ll have to wait until he contacts you first, or if they break up. Doing anything now related to him will only push him further away from you.

And after the break up my ex husband indicated he wanted me back (we have two kids) but I refused because I want someone better. Also, interestingly right after the break-up my former neighbour asked me out for a drink through facebook. But I did not want to play with others since I am into my ex boyfriend. So I refused especially because I know that my neighbour would be serious about the relationship. He was trying with me previously, confessed his feelings but he is too simple for me: I mean he is not interested in deeper things and I am. So I refused him previously as well. And I am chatting with a guy who is quite interested in me. So as you can see I dont have to feel that I would not have any other chance. I am on dating sites. I am friendly and quite ok for my age. Also, i have 4 degrees. So I am not absolutely stupid. Men are attracted to me. And I am 38. I am after a 20 year long marriage so obviously I know my feelings for this guy wont last forever. I am not that naive. The main point is that: I would like one more chance with this guy because maybe we would get on very well if I try seriously. And since I realized that I need not only sex but someone who loves me and who I can love, at the end of the day I have to change my approach/behaviour anyway. So why not now and why not with this guy. It is not that easy to find someone who is interested in deep-speaking and still sober enough and who behaves in a loving way towards me. Also we were perfectly in synch in sex. So what else would I want? Of course maybe it wont work. I am realistic. I know this guy only for 3 months and we had fights. I am nornmally not an agressive type but I was the one who started the fight, he remained polite while I was swearing. This shows that I tried to protect myself from emotions. He realized that it is my fear but i did not want to realize. And you know I want this only if it works well. Basically I dont want this guy at any cost but I wanna see where it goes if I really try without fears. Maybe he is the right person for me.

I don’t believe she has moved on.. after our break up we were still incontact an evan meet up for dinner ect. Its been just over 2 weeks she has asked me to concentrate on myself and make successful positive changes and she not making commitments for a relationship at this stage. How long should u wait until i make contact via email and how to write a letter and what to say? Regards Theo

As he is only 16, it could be very likely that he is still exploring his options which was why he did not want to stop talking to the new guy. There is a chance he still has feelings for you but isn’t sure, but you should be mentally prepared to walk away because he might not be emotionally mature enough to be seriously invested in the people he chooses to date.

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Ouch! That definitely hurts. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Remember, you are the one that has to be in control. You may have made one of the following mistakes:

Ok. When I started with this whole dating thing, I have decided: I wanted only sex. I missed sex since I have not had any for 2 years after breakup with my husband. Right? But I did not want to lose my independence just because my body needed sex. That was the starting point. I had more dates but I selected this guy because kissing was the best with him. We had chemistry. We have not had sex only on the 3rd date. Basically we were speaking about philosophical questions and everything. I found him interesting as a person. He was a kinda weirdo like myself. I told him I wanted only kinda special frienship but he wanted something more. He left some of his stuff at my house, cooked for me, stayed over the weekend and started to repair my boiler. Even mentioned that I should have reareanged my room. These things terrified me so I started fight. We had great sex and then loads of fights. In the meantime I realized I might needed something more than sex. We had fight about Fraud and these things. In this respect the relationship was not swallow.

One thing to think about is whether someone is playing a power game to manipulate a return from the ex, or whether their process is one based on soul-searching and skill-building aimed at real personal growth.

This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.

Hey,my long distance boyfriend just broke up with me after an ugly fight. He is working and I am a final year student. He thinks that I am not serious about my career and so instead of being with him, I should focus on that. But I am not able to get over him. I am working pretty well in my career but he doesn’t understand. Also, he always comes up with an excuse of not having time as he is busy with his office stuff. But as I said, I love him a lot. I am going to his city next week for an interview. Please suggest me if I should meet him and fix things or not.

You got a score of zero? Don’t worry — it’s a good thing! It sounds like your relationship is on a pretty healthy track, it’s possible that a friend of yours does not. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, find out how you can help them by visiting www.loveisrespect.org

Dr. Heitler, what a great article! These are really good tips, I will definitely read this again before I see him. This is exactly the kind of positivity I want to emulate with him. I am very willing to put any pressures aside and just focus on trying to rekindle a new relationship where we trust and enjoy each other again.

Hello guys this is testimony that this NC stuff absolutely works! Ryan you guys are geniuses dude. I got my girl back! I didn’t think it was working at first and I panicked a lot during the whole NC process. She even started messing with her ex and one other person. So my advice if you really know and want your ex back then keep pushing everyone! it works with time. also focus on yourself. This website is very helpful. Now to Ryan.. thanks dude again. I do have one last thing I need your help with. I realized that she clearly didn’t respect me or our relationship before because she was able to so easily start messing around with someone we both know and someone I didn’t like. Yes we are together now and things have been great! My question is, how do I get her to respect me more? she has not done anything to disrespect me since we got back together , however I want to know how to build strong respect from her, so that she is loyal to me no matter what? if she had respect, she would have been loyal and not cross the line with other folks while we were broken up.

“I took the quiz just for fun thinking I wasn’t going to learn much about my recent break up. One week later after following the tips, I got my ex back just like my quiz results said would happen! Almost spooky.”

As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons. If you are a little hesitant to text then I am hoping this section can sway you. Lets look at each method individually starting with..

Hi I’m lonely!! I moved outta state 2 yrs ago and just a couple of days ago my ex tells me out the blue he has a women but I’m still his friend.. I called him this a.m and he tells me he’s been with his nephew’s Auntie for 5 months and he cares for her…. Shud I move on or kp trying

Your articles have been a big help. I (29 years old with past relationship experiences) met an almost divorced guy on dating app who lives in a city 700 miles away. I considered the dangers but it has been a while for him, he will be finally divorced in a month. We hit it off vert well, we discussed we were going fast, and we decided to continue but very slow. We mutually decided to meet also. The travel plan was for me to fly. And we booked the tickets 10 days in advance. On the day of flight, he messages me not to come. And then adds “Don’t bother replying or calling. Have good luck.” I suffer from severe anxiety and abandonment issues. So I was shocked but I still kept my cool, and tried to talk to him, figuring out what it means. He didn’t say anything until after I cancelled my flight in the evening when he succinctly says he is sorry but it is overwhelming. Now I know it’s more about him not being ready. But I also can’t stop wondering that I could have gone more slow, and done more things to make sure he doesn’t feel overwhelmed. But nevertheless he never replied anymore and it seems we are over. I am treating it as a break up. And plan to follow your suggestion of not contacting him for at least 30 days and then texting him. I have dated and been with some good men too with whom it just didn’t work. So I know the different connections and with this man I see a future. Not in a desperate way where I will act out of fear but in a way I know it’s a rare good connection. So I want it to work. When he is ready I want him to contact me. I want him to miss me, but like I said he is divorced and exactly after a month (my 30 day) is his divorce day. Now throughout our dating, he has always talked about his hardships about the whole divorce, once he was on call with me for 7 hours, on a divorce court date. He shared when he got the final divorce date too. So my question to you is that after my 30 day of no contact, it’s that final divorce court date when he will be finally free as he puts it. Should I do my first text on that date? Or wait for a few more days? I must agree I am worried to lose him. Because I am a little odd person. It’s rare for me to find a connection. I find it with him. But I remember your article about two kinds of people. I have worked hard at being the second kind, but my fears are very strong. So I am confused as to how I should approach the whole thing! Yesterday I was good in not texting him back a lot, until it was night when I sent two long messages spaced a few hours apart. Immediately after that he went invisible on whatsapp. I know it was for me. But I haven’t messaged him at all after that and I will not. That’s where your post helped me a lot. I really struggle in these kinds of situations. I do well if communication was very straight but it is not so often. I hope you can help me.

http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/change-2850274_1280.jpg 452 1280 Jessica Raymond http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/LoveLearningsLogo2.png Jessica Raymond2017-10-12 16:22:122017-12-01 20:25:468 Challenges of Marriage Every Person Has to Deal With