There’s no such thing as ‘being friends’ with your ex… especially if you still want her back. This is a myth, perpetuated by bad movies and people who are desperately trying to transition from being friends back to lovers again.

Keep at it, realise your mistakes, change everything (better appearance, be more kind, a better listener, etc.) she is still in love with you and still wants you very much you just have to prove to her that you are a better person than before.

One additional thought. You might want to check out my post on infusing your interactions with positivity. It’s not just moths that are drawn to light. See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/10-ways-radiate-positivity-and-be-attractive. Maximize the positives in your interactions, delete the negatives like criticism or irritated emotions, and the odds will be likely to shift in your favor.

Hey Charlie great article, it was very informative!. By the way my gf of 3 years broke up with me cause she caught me in some lies, for example creating a Facebook behind her back. So she broke up with me cause she can’t trust, she say’s she hates me and that I’m not the right man for her. But when she talks to me she gets very emotional and starts crying. I’m going to give her space and work on myself like you said!. But my question is i have to see her once a month to give her my part of car insurance since were on the same policy and was wondering what should i say or do when i do see her *note(that i still want her back). Thanks for your time.

I would like to share a comment with the dr. I experienced the separate therapist scenario and you are correct. the outcome is most certain to be divorce as was mine. Also in response to Alice. I read the book the verbally abusive relationship and although some people are prone to abuse, the author, in my opinion does not share or give any inspiration as does Susan. The author empowers women who need validation to end a relationship without having to do any work or communicate with there partner how verbal abuse may be affecting them. It’s an incurable disease according to the author, and a very easy way out of a relationship, as well as a way to exonerate oneself from any and or even partial responsibility for divorce. I guess what’s most important is verbal abuse is prevalent and can do serious harm to ones self esteem. it’s not a death sentence and once it’s brought to light, talked about and understood, can make a relationship stronger. If two people want to be together! Most times once a diagnosis is reached by an unhappy spouse, it’s over and this book, as I said before, is the validation needed because once you determine you have been verbally abused your free to go and take no responsibility as the Author points out it’s the fault of the abuser who has a death sentence and there fore you must get away.

Heyy !!! It’s been two months I and my girl broke up.. As like normal guys v guys were in contact, latter on she kept on tellin you gotta move on and all that.. Recently I avoided textin her callin for lik two days, I had even tried avoiding her even b4 once she herself had called from front to know if I am fine.. I acted all fine.. Nd lst night I just bumped at her in place … V wer together boozing she had come with her friends, even then she ws full time wit me , all off sudden topic off our relationship started I was in tears , she wiped my tears , hugged nd kissed me on forehead .. Nd I got to know through her friends tat even she broke down… I really don know what to do??? I just love her alot!!! Tis is killin me .. Plz help.. Does she still love me ??

Hi, what about people who have mood problems or other issues? I’ve ADHD and this can affect my mood and I go through depression as well. ADHD affects my impulses. Though it seems odd, I do consider myself fairly laid back and amiable, it’s just sometimes my brain does things.

On Friday night, I met her to express my thoughts and officially end the relationship. As I was walking her her back to her place, she stopped, looked at me and shook her head from left to right, and didn’t want to proceed. I didn’t know what she wanted. But she gave me a hug before I sent her home.

I’ve gone on dates with a few women now and slept with a couple. There’s even one girl I’ve seen 5+ times, but no matter how much I try none of these other girls match the feelings I had with my ex. I know it’s still early in being single, but its getting harder and harder to drown out the voice that says it might not jsut be me panicking. Maybe we did have something special that could be worth fighting for.

If it was too easy the first time, make her chase you. If you can’t think of what went wrong in the relationship because you smothered her with love, then chances are that this was exactly what went wrong. She must have felt that your love and relationship was too easy, so you should try to make it more of a challenge.[1]

This is only a choice if the both of you want it, if you realize that breaking up was a mistake, and you want to work on the issues that cause the relationship to fall apart in the first place. Getting back together with your ex isn’t the end all be all solution to getting over that missing feeling.

It feels exceptionally terrible to be losing the love of your life, especially when you are about to propose to her, mentally and financially ready for her, and also on a festive season. Im lost, i really want her back and wished that i can still work things out, but i know, the ball is no longer in my court. I can only keep improving, keep working and praying.