Create a new reality that doesn’t include your ex. Purge yourself of materials and even friendships that you find are toxic or holding you back. Make changes and take plunges that you’ve always thought about, but never actually done. Get a drastic haircut, redo your living room, or travel to a foreign country. Forging new experiences without your ex, will make you feel worlds away from the life you created together.
I can’t get over my ex bf as well at first, but then I thought of all the ways he used to treat me, the goods and the bad. I revisited the places we used to be one last time, and everywhere I went, I left the memories that we had at the place.
Focus On Work – Is there any area in your career that need little bit extra work? Are you spending less time in your business or work? Use this time to improve your career and try to accomplish goals.
He broke up with me over a month ago and i am still upset. I know he is not seeing anyone else and he knows i’m not either. When we broke up he told me he wants to be happy (he’s very depressed). He told me that he loves me way more than i love him and it’s just difficult to deal with that because i think that 2 people who love each other should be with together. we have been texting and it’s either very short or very long and we also have our location on for each other. we were together for almost 15 months and i see a future with him and he is fully aware that i would do anything to have him back. i want to see him so badly but i don’t think he wants to see me. He’s going through a lot of stuff like depression and he gets lost in his thoughts and this caused him to think i was cheating or lying to him or that i didn’t love him. I think cheating is disgusting and i’d never lie to him. He also can’t get over certain things…. such as him not being my first sexual partner which bothers me because i am a year older than him and it just bothers me that he doesn’t understand. all i want is for him to be happy but i also want him to be happy with me and i am so stuck. i asked him if he would ever come back and he said he doesn’t know. everyone keeps telling me to focus on myself and i can’t because i’m only focused on him and i really have hopes that we will get back together.
Sara, you must be secretly working with the good doctor here because that was very good advice. The article itself has spoken to everything I’ve been experiencing and reading your comments has also served to remind me I’m not alone in the current despair. I’m an impatient person when it comes to certain things but I understand that time will likely be my best bet at working through all of this. It was definitely a relationship where I strived to change things about myself to be with her (that I wanted to, not because I felt she would leave me otherwise) and I suppose I hurt because even though I tried, in the end it was not enough. Funnily enough she sounds very much like your ex, not wanting to further commit because it would be too hard for her to make certain changes for us to work. It breaks my heart to think of her not loving me anymore but it is to be expected. I definitely hope to be in your place soon because this depression nonsense is for the birds! (FYI, I’m a counselor myself and it is quite a bummer I can’t follow my own advice when it comes to all of this.)
I have had a 12-year relationship with a good friend. He travels for work and we usually see each other 4-6 times/year. Recently, he got assigned to my area long term and we were looking forward to spending more quality time together. The one thing that has helped to solidify our 12 year relationship is the fact that I don’t freak out if I don’t hear from him for long periods of time. We each see other people, but it has been a spoken truth between us that we prefer each other over others. Also recently, I experienced an unfortunate health crisis (lump/breast/biopsy), and I was very anxious about it. The biopsy results were benign which was great, but the anxiety didn’t go away, it worsened. I was up and down and all over the place, emotionally and I didn’t know why. For about a week, I behaved like a desperate, needy crazed woman. I sent him some terrible texts, demanding his time and attention–not like me at all. He backed away and totally cut off communications with me. My last message to him was …”I don’t know what’s wrong with me & I am getting help.” That’s exactly what I did and that’s when I found out I was having an adrenaline/pituitary crisis that had caused my blood glucose level to dip down to a dangerous level, my thyroid hormones were low, and these conditions had likely created a chemical imbalance in my brain that kept me from being able to control my anxiety/emotions. It’s been 2 weeks since I started treatment to get myself back to normal levels, and about 2 weeks since I wrote him an email trying to explain what happened to me. I haven’t heard a word back from him. Silence is impossible to interpret. Do you think I should send him a follow up email and let him know I am back to normal, or do you think he is gone for good.
Know exactly that feeling ash, I am 4 weeks into loosing the love of my life and already feel like my life is going to b just as you described, I don’t think anyone is going to match my perfect man, when you’ve had the best, no one compares hey. Hope all goes well for you mate..
I broke up with my beloved ex due to some problems we had..he always told me he is going to kill himself and after a long period of trying to help him he left for his job at the helllenic navy…then after some time of the problems he had I told him to brake up….and then found someone else after some time,so I could overcome my beloved one….and then,because I wanted to return to ex who loved me a lot and I also did,the new one sent him photos and said that I cheated on him,thing that in NOT true….and he threatened me to be with him otherwise I would have problems…and so,my ex hated me..9 months passed and I still love him and want him back and I don’t know how to tell him….he also has told everybody the worst about me and together,the made a clique of hate towards me….I am really sad I don’t know what to do…
So I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I knew that he wasn’t the “one” for me. We would constantly fight and we barely could relate on anything. After 2 years of dating, I still couldn’t see a future with him so I had to end things. The breakup resulted from a fight and happened all over text. I asked to meet up with him to talk about it in person but he said that he never wanted to see me again. He then blocked me on everything. I felt bad for breaking up with him because he was a nice guy, but it had to be done because we just had SO many differences. Now, three months later, we sometimes text, but every time we do it turns into him telling me how much he misses me and then we start fighting about everything. He told me that he could never be friends with me again because he was an “all or nothing” kinda guy. However, he was the person I lost my virginity to and my first true love so I can never truly forget him, and unlike him, I do want to keep in touch time to time but he wont allow that. And recently, Ive also started to miss him a lot. I miss talking to him more than anything. How do I get over him even though I was the one to end things? Not talking to him at all has messed me up because I am not used to it. I don’t know if I regret breaking up with him because I know i did the right thing. Its just that I miss some things about him and not being able to talk to him at all is killing me. I haven’t seen him in months and I keep getting remind of him because we have mutual friends. Please help me get over him. I haven’t been able to sleep properly for DAYS now because of him.
Be positive. Negativity, sadness and depression are not productive when it comes to getting your boyfriend back. In fact, they’re likely to undermine any efforts you make; nothing is less attractive than self-pity. Instead, look for the silver linings everywhere you can. If he hasn’t found a new love interest, it means he’s still stuck on you. If he has moved on, it means he’s trying to forget you by desperately latching onto someone else. Either way, you can get your boyfriend back! Be positive, happy and energetic; these qualities are contagious.
One of the biggest problems women have after a breakup is saying too much. Yet while there’s no mystical speech that will suddenly make your ex want you again, there are definitely some things you can say that will keep your ex open and receptive you, even after the relationship ends.
You may find that you’re simply looking for any solution to the pain you feel right now. Or you could truly believe that you and your ex are right for each other. You need to distinguish between whether you’re missing your ex or the feeling of being in a relationship, and that all comes from understanding yourself.
Focus on yourself and your own life. Spend time and energy on improving yourself and focus on things that you like to do or experience. Work on being happy with yourself and where you are. Take steps to reach that point. Most importantly give it time, because letting go does take time. Allow yourself to let go even if it is painful. It will pass. With time it will be easier to handle. Also remember it doesn’t mean you have to stop loving someone. As long as you can move forward and also be open for new people and experiences. Connect with others that you can relate with in a positive sense.
7 days ago he broke up with me. Reason for breaking up was that he doesn’t have time for me, that he isn’t sure what he wants, maybe it’s other girls, but he has everything he wants with me, so he needs time to think. But I think that he has someone else now. [otp_overlay]