3 Tips To Really Get Your Husband’s Attention
When you first meet a guy it is easy to get his attention. In fact, getting RID of him might be the problem if you determine he is not marriage or at least relationship material.
Even when you were first married it was no chore to get your husband’s attention and keep it for about as long as you wanted. He was still getting used to the idea that he really landed a prize like you.
Maybe, depending, there may have even a few times when you secretly wished you could have a little bit less of him; perhaps just a little room to breathe, am I right?
Now, though, the honeymoon is over, and married life is getting to be a rut. You wish you could get your husband’s attention as easily as the Sports Channel. Maybe he has a workshop in the garage – perhaps a project car, maybe even the one he had when you dated and learned about love in the back seat?
Or your husband may be into video games that you could care less about and can see better uses for his time and your family finances.
What happened, why didn’t I see it coming? More importantly, what can you do to get his attention like you used to?
It’s Not Just You
The good news is that all relationships have their ups and downs, and his disinterest is probably not about you. It could just be a normal cycle that many marriages go through.
The better news, is that it’s not beyond your ability to take charge and get his attention again, now, and any other time when other issues seem to be intruding on your time with your husband.
3 Tips To Get Your Husbands Attention
Understand that these tips for getting his attention are not necessarily things you do just once or just when you want his attention. Just as we often write about how he needs to treat you as a matter of course and not as a one-off solution to a problem, there may be changes in how you show him your affection and attention on a day to day basis.
- Feed him good food that HE likes to eat. Many believe there are only two things you can do to really get a man’s attention that will also make him happy. Feeding him is one of the two and I am guessing you can figure out the other. And no, you do NOT have to (necessarily 🙂 install a stripper pole in the living room or bedroom.It’s not just about having food on the table, it’s about the kind of food you offer him. Is it food HE likes or food YOU like and WANT him to like? Divorce courts are filled with men who were consistently fed pasta that added pounds to their wives hips and their gut when what they CRAVED was a STEAK on the grill that they would have happily cooked (with beer in hand).Men are lusty creatures. It shows in their appetite for you as well as their appetite for food. Feeding him the things that leave him feeling deprived for dinner and expecting him to be happy is just not going to happen. Especially when he goes outside to work in the garage and smells the steak cooking on the neighbors grill.
- Compliment your husband instead of nagging on him. OK, maybeyou are the exception and you DON’T nag. Good for you. But try paying him a compliment regularly. Tell him how awesome he is for fixing that electrical problem that most other people would have had to call an expensive electrician to fix.Did he just wash & wax your car? Sure, maybe he wants it to last longer and you won’t get a new car as often. But let him know that you appreciate the way he takes care of you and your family. Let him how much he means to you. Maybe when he is waxing your car you could (if you don’t offer to help) make his favorite cookies to bring out for a snack?Women are not the only ones in the marriage who like to be spoken kindly to. It is often forgotten that men need to hear these words of affirmation and appreciation just as much as you women thrive on hearing them. An added benefit is that this sets an amazing example for him to follow in case he needs a little help in this area. It really can do wonders to save your marriage from mediocrity, boredom or worse.
- Do not make him beg for you all the time. Make yourself available to him. While we no longer live in the day and age of wives submitting to their husbands in any kind of Biblical or literal sense, there is still something that touches a man above and beyond all else for you to make the first move. When you are offering him what he wants from you it does MORE than get his attention, it strengthens his commitment to you. If that is not getting his attention at first, do not hesitate to go up a level and make your offer a little bolder. Few men need a second invitation often.
Keeping His Attention
When it comes to your husband, getting his attention should be the easy part. Keeping it despite all the distractions that impact marriage and relationships today is where you will have to work a bit harder. Remember, just as we tell the guys, fixing a marriage is not a one time event, it is a pattern of better and more successful behavior.
Try these at home tonight, or if your husband is gone traveling make his return more special than usual and see if you do not get his attention quickly. Once he sees a pattern, keeping it will be easier and easier.
(Note: Some of the material in this article was derived from the blockbuster Magic of Making Up program; preview video here.)