Getting an ex back takes persistence, optimism and various tactics. One of the most effective ways to win your ex girlfriend back in 5 steps, is through direct physical contact. Touch her every now and then to let her know that you are interested, and make her know that you have deep feelings for her. Communication is key in the making up process.

So let go of over-thinking about the other. That’s part of what doesn’t work in relationships. Responsive is fine, Trying to guess all the time what the other person thinks or will do, that’s disaster.

If you’re in the latter camp, and your girlfriend has said things like, “I’m not sure what I want anymore,” or “I just need some time by myself to figure things out,” she’s likely questioning her own feelings, not yours. The appropriate (and most effective) response here is to tell her you understand her feelings, rather than try to talk her out of them. 

I know how it feels to wake up in the morning and have that moment before you even open your eyes where the reality of a world without your ex comes crashing down, and it feels hard to breathe. Or the feeling that you won’t be able to make it through the day, let alone the next hour. I know that feeling all too well, and it took months for it to go away. In fact, thinking and writing about it now is making me sad, and it’s been months since my breakup.

If she asks how long this change will be in effect, tell her it will take as long as it takes. There’s no way to put a strict date on when you’ll be able to be around her without feeling upset again. Sometimes it’s only for a month or two; in rare cases, it could be for the rest of your life.

In order to be attractive you have to remove every trace of neediness from your life. This is part of the reason why you are not contacting your ex for a month – so you have time to overcome this neediness.

My ex ended things 2 weeks ago. Initially he said he didn’t know if he wanted a relationship anymore and needed to think about things but didn’t want to end things completely. At first he was lovely, reassuring me he still cared about me it was just a case of timing and wanted to stay in contact whilst he figured things out. But I pressured him into making a decision the more I text the more annoyed he got and ended things completely. Initially I made the mistake of trying to change his mind, he reluctantly replied at first but the stopped responding completely. I started NC 2 weeks ago and then today he deleted me off all social media. I panicked and messaged him asking how his Christmas was, he read and didn’t respond. I don’t know what him deleting me means and what I should do about it? Should I re start no contact or is this his way of saying he’s moved on? We are both in our 20’s and were together for 2 months.

Afterwards we texted for almost three consecutive days, but we both agreed that it felt weird and decided to text each other every other day for the whole day. We both have every intention of finally meeting up on Christmas. She’s said she’s really wanting to focus on school right now, which I completely respect, but I do want to get her back. I want to prove to her that I can not be a clingy, jealous, insecure guy! Are the steps we are taking the appropriate ones?

Now let’s say that after a while, we get into an argument and you’re mad at me. To win your friendship again, all I do is go fishing with you, or listen to whatever music you want, or do whatever you want to do. Would that make you like me more? Or would it make you find me somewhat contemptible?

Be aware that if you text or email messages to your ex about how much agony you’re in without her, she may use this as something to laugh at with her friends or be petty about. Stick to facts if you must contact her, such as “Your stuff is in the box at the front door of my sister’s house. Collect tomorrow or she will take it to the thrift store next day.”

To ensure that you are doing the right thing of winning her back, ask yourself if it is really your ex-girlfriend whom you miss or is it just the feeling of having a girlfriend. Do you think that she’s the only one for you – the only girl who can make you feel good about yourself and be happier and more secure? Can you imagine a bright future with her?

Take things slowly and rebuild attraction, connection and trust with your ex. Keep doing it until your ex decides they want to get back together. Before you begin no contact take this short quiz to find out your chances of getting back together.

If you give her space, she’ll also be more likely to think about you. She’ll think, “I haven’t heard from [insert your name here] in a while. That must mean that he’s just fine without me…” This will intrigue her and make her wonder what you’re up to.

And what’s more is that they were shocked to discover how simple the whole process was once they understood the concept behind it (we’ll get to that in a second). But heed this word of warning: she’s not going to wait around forever. If you continue to act this way she’ll soon move on to somebody else.