We agree to meet next week for me to pass her some stuffs-photos of us and letters-before going on no contact. Is this relationship a lost cause? I don’t want to let it go just like that. At the same time, I am unable to discern if what she’s saying now is due to her overwhelming hurt and disappointment.
After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back. I know it seems like the right thing to do right after a breakup BUT IT’S NOT. In fact, it is the worst thing you can do at this moment.
Where Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s typically keen understanding of Rebecca and her mental problems somewhat falters is in the season-two finale, when we see flashbacks of her time at a mental hospital. We learn that Rebecca left Harvard after a romantic entanglement with a college professor. She set fire to his belongings with alcohol and found herself forced into a court-mandated psychiatric hospital stay. The series only briefly depicts Rebecca’s time in this hospital — the scene amounts to less than a minute. It would be ludicrous to expect the series to depict a mental hospital stay with deft precision in such a short scene. Still, it harkens to the more prosaic renderings of this experience that are littered throughout pop culture. It’s shot, like the other flashbacks, with a gray bluish tint far away from the saccharine, bright palette that the series typically hews toward. Rebecca sits on a decadent lawn with two other patients lost in their own worlds. Two nurses watch over them. As a nurse hands Rebecca her medication, she asks the other, “What’s with this one?” in a gruff manner. In just a few seconds, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend reproduced the ingrained cinematic mores of mental hospitals that are always depicted as grim, regimented hells, no matter how necessary they are for the character.
What should I need to do ? I am on day 8 of no contact it’s really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due to long distance tho we’ve been seeing each other in webcam. We had some argument he keeps telling we are going to see each other in person but he never make plan. I find out Jan 1st this year he traveled to Dubai to spend vacation with Indonesian girl.(before that incident I caught him sexting with that girl, that Indonesian lady asking him to send her a porn he said they haven’t see each other yet and the girl was virgin he said it was nothing ugh I’m so stupid to believe)
My situation is a little different. I am 22 and my boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me. It was basically because he thought we were sexually incompatible (which isn’t really true, as I change drastically depending on what’s going on around me) and it wasn’t going to work out.
I recommend you to follow NO Contact for at least four weeks because after four weeks your ex girlfriend is most vulnerable and lonely. It would take a lot of efforts from your side for not to contact her but if you stick to the plan, she will be one who will contact you. If she doesn’t contact you, don’t worry it is still completely fine.
So now, I had decided to actually study in my home country in Europe. Finish school there and what not. I had this plan before but I just hadn’t acted on it until now. She took this other guy to prom, so when she told me she’s seeing this other guy because “she would rather I knew”, I realized what I had lost and started pouring my heart out to her and sending her roses etc etc etc. She tells me it wouldn’t be fair for her to not give the other guy a chance. She said maybe if I come back to Europe, we can get close again and see how it goes but for now, she will be seeing this other guy. After more begging and pleading, she finally just told me she’s going to be seeing him and that I took too long to make a decision. I told her she broke my heart and I realize I don’t have a shot anymore. That was the last thing I said to her.
Resolve to talk–a lot. Periodically check in with each other about the relationship and your satisfaction levels. Addressing these issues head-on is particularly important for a relationship that comes with prior baggage.
Focus on work- It is good to distract your mind for a while and what better way to do that than with work. Careful though, you don’t want to be one of those career first women and lose sight of your goal. Remember, focusing on work in this particular case should be used to take your mind of your ex boyfriend.
If you still want to gather more information about how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if she has already moved on or with someone else, check out the Ex Factor Guide. It has most of the information you need to convince your ex-girlfriend that you are meant for each other and your relationship is worth giving another shot. Paired with the tips mentioned in this article, you’ll surely be successful in your attempt to winning your ex-girlfriend’s heart.
It was the strangest break-up I’ve ever had. I’ve never broken up out of a relationship when things were going well…. was she just putting on a mask while we were dating???…. She said she tried developing feelings for me but she just couldn’t… But her actions 100% prove otherwise… she could never keep her hands off of me!!!
Do not call it a date. I repeat. Do not call it a date. If you do, your ex will put their defenses up faster than Garfield finds Lasagna. You don’t want them thinking that you are looking to get back together. At least not now. You want them to go out with you as a friend. And then you can build up attraction while you are with them.
From your description, you may be coming off as clingy. There’s hardly anything more unattractive than needy and clingy. By developing yourself, and moving on, you will actually become more confident and self assured – two extremely attractive characteristics. So it’s a win/win. Maybe she wants you back, because you’re a more compelling person. Or because you’re a more interesting person, you have more women attracted to you. Either way, you’re better equipped to take on life.
You didn’t satisfy her in the bedroom – Yep. You suck in the bedroom. Why do I know this? Because even if you were boring as a person, she would still stick around for a while longer or talk to you about things if you were AMAZING in the sack.
My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…
I missed her terribly. I thought about her all the time. I was anxious to meet someone new, but inevitably (if unfairly) I often compared potential new partners to her. At any given moment, there are a handful of pieces of driftwood, floating with the currents of the sea, bearing the simple words, “To ****, I miss you” with my initials underneath.
I was with my ex for 5 years. I broke up with him 6 months ago when I came to realize that I needed to work on my self confidence and he to work on his ability to show emotions. I applied NC without realizing it. He eventually reached out once per month in a friendly way, but nothing more than that.
My ex and I broke up. I successfully did no contact for one month immediately after the break up and sent a follow-up text. In the initial first text I asked him in the message if he’d like to catch up for coffee, he said he it was too soon as he was struggling to find normality. I said I understood and we had a really good catch up chat via text. We have been texting almost everyday, good chats about friends, work, movies etc. I then asked him about a week or two later if he’d like to catch up for a drink he said he’s not ready to just hang out and it might be a while and he was sorry, but wants to stay in touch. He isn’t much of a texter even in our two year relationship. So I was a bit confused when he said no but I acted cool about it and said I understood and I’m happy to keep chatting (texting). We continued texting for about two weeks about random things and I got a fine in the mail I approached him about it cause I didn’t believe it was me driving (the fine was from a few months ago) and he said in a long message he remembered that day because I come over cooked for him and we had coffee in the park, he also joked in the message about a lunch we had made that’s still in his fridge and looks a bit dangerous lol. We sent a few more texts about our pet fishes and what not, seemed to be good. He said the suburb I was livin in now suited me 🙂 and then I said you should check it out sometime and he said yeah that would be nice :). So then a few days after that I said what is he up to this weekend and would he like to come check out my place/pool (he seemed to respond better to that then the coffee idea hence why I asked). But then he took two days to reply and said sorry he had a busy week and probably not this weekend and that he needs a pool at this place. Honestly at this point I felt confused so I replied saying ok when were you thinking to catch up as I will be away most of January? And he said he’s not in a huge rush, it’d be nice to see me but he feels he needs to find his own feet first and maybe closer to Xmas/New Years but he doesn’t know and not too rush it. I said it does suck but I understand and hope I catch you before I go :). That was our last text about 3-4 days ago and I’m not sure what to do now since I’ve asked to catch up a few times. I’m confused, I feel he’s definitely shown some positive signs, especially sending me some money for the fine even though he didn’t think it was him. My friends said I should just let him text me and not text him so I haven’t and it’s been a few days now. He was never much of a texter anyway but I’m not too sure what to do from here. Thanks 🙂
Having your first kiss can be scary and exciting, but don’t let that stop you. Instead, ask yourself if you are ready for that level of intimacy with someone. Do you feel comfortable, cared for, and safe with this person? If so, then you will also know that they will be accepting and nonjudgmental about a nervous, “first try” kiss. If you have a deep connection to this person and the first attempt is a dud, you will both likely laugh and try again.
The truth is, they already know that you love them, how much you adore them and how much you care about them. But they still decided to breakup. Showering them with affection is not going to help you. In fact, the more you smother them, the more trapped they’ll feel. And that will just make them want to get away from you as soon as possible.
Imagine for a moment that during your relationship with your ex girlfriend you were always very nervous about her talking to other men. So, every time you would catch her texting another guy innocently you would throw this big temper tantrum.
I watched the screener for “Josh Is Irrelevant” a few days before it aired in a haze of my own depression that I had been passing off as stress. Even in this mental state, I was keenly aware of what a step forward this episode was for the series. Tonally, it was a touch more somber. In Rebecca’s shifting emotions, I saw my own history: the giddy elation of a new diagnosis she believes can solve everything, the buoyant mania that often follows a suicide attempt, the careful navigation that comes when you’ve tried to set fire to your own life and still have to move forward. When Rebecca receives an unexpected diagnosis of borderline personality disorder in the episode, I felt my heart lurch in my throat. Even though I have often spoken out against the stigmatization of mental illness, personality disorders make me fearful. Something about the word “personality” rankles me, confirming a noxious fear that the problem is oneself rather than a matter of illness. By the time “Josh Is Irrelevant” aired, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit for a suicide attempt; a few days later, a psychiatrist suggested to me that I, too, may have borderline personality disorder.
Another factor that might hamper your decision to get her back is the level of maturity that the two of you demonstrate. Is your ex-girlfriend still the same? Or did she grow up like you, too? Did both of you make all the necessary changes to improve yourselves so when the time comes that you get back together, you can already make it work?
Denver clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, Ph.D, a graduate of Harvard and NYU, is author of Power of Two, a book, a workbook, and a website that teach the communication skills that save and sustain positive relationships.
For example, even if your relationship with your ex was abusive, you might want to rekindle it just because you are missing them. Our mind often confuses the act of missing someone with “love”. It’s normal to miss someone after you’ve been with them for a long time. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you still love them.
Resist the temptation to call. Especially after longer-term relationships, the urge to get back in touch with your ex can be overwhelming. Do your very best to resist it; it will only make things worse in the long run.
It would depend on the context of how the relationship had ended and the experiences you went through together. Bear in mind that a relationship with your best friend is very different from actually being friends with that person, and if the relationship was meaningful enough, there’s a likelihood that his new girlfriend may be a rebound. He just may not realize it yet, or has been subconsciously suppressing his doubts so far. If he still feels that he can’t face you in specific occasions, there is a possibility he isn’t over you, and that makes the new relationship seem even more like a rebound. However, just take note that many factors would come into play, and you could refer to them in this article.
Unfortunately one day she stopped supporting my dreams, our relationship started to struggle and we ultimately ended 65 days ago now. We tried as friends for the last month of it but it wasn’t working and one night when I told her I loved her, she didn’t feel the same, and we ended everything. No talking, no reconciliation, we just stopped. She reached out a day after to say sorry but it didn’t go anywhere.
Many texts went back and forth he stated he was in a bad place he is drinking too much and angry at his ex. he said his heart wasn’t in it with me. He asked me to give him time, he said he wanted me to meet the real him and not the angry guy he is now. He wants to bring me on romantic weekends away and surprise dates when he gets his head straight. He stated he was only dating me and had no interest in dating sites. He asked me to give him time stating he really liked me. I asked him to delete any naughty texts etc we sent each other he said he was sad deleting them and would miss spending time with me. I did did not reply two hours later he texted again asking me to give him time and said please don’t hate me. I told him to sort his head out and id look forward to meeting the real him but told him not to take too long. He said he wouldn’t as he really liked me. All his messages were signed off with an x.
Even if you weren’t clingy, no contact is still something you should apply as you the relationship ended on a sour note, and he may harbor negative emotions towards you right now. NC will help give both parties some space to let go of those emotions before attempting anything again.