In our therapy sessions Peter recalled that in his family expressions of anger were not allowed.  As a young boy with no one who would listen when he felt negative feelings, Peter often felt abandoned.  

This project was supported by Grant Number 90EV0426 from the Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Family and Youth Services Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The opinions, findings, conclusions and recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Family and Youth Services Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

However, my ex boyfriend is not currently at the table with me on this one since we are broken up. (He is not ignoring me or saying we will never be together again, but is making it very clear that our relationship is over.) I have been very clingy in the past and ‘convinced him’ to stay with me when there were problems. I think he is worried I will keep doing that so he keeps telling me that it is definitely over.

i am an 18 year old male, i broke up with my ex girlfriend almost 3 months ago, we was together almost 5 years, we had a strong bond but we went through an unfortunate abortion, during this situation she got attached to the baby im her stomach but wasnt finacially stable to take care of a child, her anxiety got really bad and she pushed me away and wouldnt let me near her, after almost a month of this she broke up with me stating that she had lost feelings and doesnt want to be with me anymore, we have broken up and got back together alot in the past, but this time is different, i acted irrational and constantly begged and stated how upset and lonely i was without her, i irratated her to the point of she blocked me on afew social medias, but she left 1 line of communication open via instagram, i often message her but she doesnt reply but she reads the messages, if she doesnt look at the message fast enough i panic and irratate her with more, she then replies with “Go away, leave me alone, move on i want you to” i ask her why we broke up and all she says is ‘everything’ thats all she says, i truley believe there is a chance but she is being too stubon to admit it, im really confused and in a bad place, there was never any cheating, im so worried that the no contact rule will not work, although if it doesnt im still in the same place im in now so what can get worse… i read alot of these getting ex back websites but im never really satisfied with the information as every situation is very different, i really do want her back, and the relationship will be great if i get the chance to reconcile it, im really in need of some help im looking forward to your help and also the no contact daily email help as i need as much help as i can get.

Making a positive change in your physical appearance is going to give you a fresh look. You are going to feel new and you are going to feel better. And when your ex sees you after the no contact period, they are going to see a new you. Here are a few things you can do.

To humility and self-awareness I would add skills. That’s why I wrote my book Power of Two and the website poweroftwomarriage.com. I’d sure love to see more folks access the gratifications of a fully loving committed relationship….

Peter’s young wife Paulette had said to him, “That’s it. You’ve betrayed my trust one time too many. You are far too nice when you talk on the phone to the mother of your daughter, and by contrast you show no love toward me. All you do with me is avoid me or get mad. I’ve had it. Please, leave the house.”  

At the same time, many, and quite possibly most, abusers, are not willing or able to apply themselves to learning better ways. The partner of an abusive individual must look realistically if their partner is one of the subgroup of abusers who does genuinely apply him/herself to making changes, or is of the larger group who are just going to keep returning to abusive and controlling behavior.

When a relationship ends either both parties end up hating each other, they continue to care for one another but acknowledge it will never work and move in their own directions, or one continues to pine for the other. The last scenario is always the most difficult (at least, for the one pining) and can make an already painful process even more brutal. Sometimes, however, these cases do come to a happy conclusion and the other person also decides the relationship is worth fighting for. But how can you know if this is the way your story will unfold?

I was with my ex for 5 years. I broke up with him 6 months ago when I came to realize that I needed to work on my self confidence and he to work on his ability to show emotions. I applied NC without realizing it. He eventually reached out once per month in a friendly way, but nothing more than that.

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Worldwide leaders in research and couples therapy, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have found that one of the most important characteristics of successful relationships is the quality of the friendship between partners.

my ex travelled to the US about a year ago for his masters but he came back two months ago for my birthday here in Nigeria. we were so much in love while he was away and even before he left Nigeria.we had sex for the first time after he came back but he broke up with me on the grounds that I am materialistic. I don’t know what to do

I absolutely connect with a lot of what you said in the article about working through your feelings and trying to actually make positive changes that will help you in the long run, no matter what happens.

However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration.