There Are Better Ways To Get Your Boyfriend Back Than Sex
Sure, sex is probably one of the easiest (in a sense) ways to win you boyfriend back and comes to mind quickly; but does it work?
Well, think about the old adage:
Why buy the cow if you can milk it for free?
Why indeed? (And NO, we are NOT calling you a cow; but it’s an extremely fitting metaphor.) But it’s sort of like claiming you have lots of friends just because there are always people at your house WITHOUT mentioning that you offer free, cold beer and awesome big screen TV will all the sports channels.
Let’s see about some better ways to get your boyfriend back that are not morally compromising besides the fact that they might REALLY WORK.
Breaking up is hard to do, you probably feel alone, rejected, maybe left behind. Depending on how long the two of you were together and how deeply involved you may have been, sex might sound like the perfect solution for getting him back. There is not much thought, even effort, involved and besides you like it too.
The solution to a breakup, though, can be more complicated than the problem.
While sex may seem like an obvious method for getting him back, it is really only a way to get him PHYSICALLY back in your presence but not at all EMOTIONALLY committed to you and your relationship.
Sex Gives Him All The Benefit Without The Cost
In the old days, unlike today where it’s about the complete opposite, sex was reserved for marriage except among the most morally loose individuals. And while there were more than one reason for that, one is because for some women they feel it is the only card they can play. Once they have given him their body, there is no more incentive to get him to commit. He can come and go as he pleases (no puns intended).
Bottom line is, he can end up just USING YOU!
Why should he be entitled to sex with you without any of the strings that are the ties that bind you together?
Right now you want as many strings attached as possible, do you not?
It might seem like a good idea to remind him of what he’s missing or give him a taste of what is yet to come, yet that almost always backfires.
The truth of the matter is that the longer you hold out now, the better your odds are of a successful outcome. Showing him what he cannot have will make him want it more. Men like “the chase” and the chase is only on when you are not giving him what he wants for free.
If you give him sex outside the confines of a relationship then he has no reason to return at all. He then is able to enjoy the best benefits and comforts without being required to meet the obligations of a boyfriend let alone a husband.
No, No, No
Remember those Capital One commercials with David Spade in a cubicle, playing with a pencil telling the person on the phone no, no, always no?
That should be your answer to an ex-boyfriend wanting sex.
As crazy as it sounds, it will drive him crazy wanting you and not getting you. To make it worse, always look your best. Maybe even trim down or tone up a little during the breakup. A new do?
Make sure you let him know where you stand on the issue of sex and relationships. Make it clear what it is going to take for him to get back in your good graces – a real relationship (at least).
Denying him the sexual release he wants places you in a position of power. He dumped you, right? Why reward him with what he wants most unless he is willing to admit that the breakup was a mistake and that he is (again) committed to you.
Words are cheap, make sure he backs them up with action – over time. Not just a phony confession today and in bed with you tonight.
This is your opportunity to turn the tables, get the advantage back. While you should never wield power such as this maliciously, it can be a powerful tool in your arsenal as you work to get your boyfriend back. Again, sex is NOT a weapon, but it should not be handed out cheaply either.
You Need To Make Him Earn It
Physical love is an expression. It is a gift that you give to him. Do you give it to just anyone? I hope not. If not saved for marriage it should at least be saved for someone who is committed to you for more than just a few hours.
While “earn” may not be the best word, it is important that he deserves the gift of love that you offer him. Sex should never be an act of desperation on your part or a last ditch effort to just to win him back.
Instead, sex should be a celebration of the love the two of you share AFTER you get back together.
Sex is a beautiful thing between two people who love and respect one another. Without those two things, it loses some of its poetry and potency. If you’re trying to get your boyfriend back, sex carries a lot more weight when denied than when offered freely.