Who’s To Blame For Infidelity?
Every once in a while a news story will stir the pot on infidelity, why men cheat and whether it is the woman’s fault, fully or partly, when that happens. In fact, we wrote on this when Pat Robertson, the televangelist, made a controversial statement some time ago.
First let’s make it clear that we are all responsible for our own behavior. “The devil made me do it” didn’t cut it with your parents and it doesn’t cut it with me either. Nor am I going to say that all men are dogs, or that they just can’t help it no matter what you do.
That said, though, there can be such a thing as contributory negligence.
Truth Can Come By Way Of Comedy
You have probably heard the old joke: “She married me to make sure I would never get good sex ever again!”.
Well, sad to say, there are a lot of men who feel that way after being married only a short time. Is it odd to think that cheating might cross his mind if he feels he is neglected at home? I’m not saying it’s right or necessarily justified, but the commitment he makes to be faithful to you comes with an – implied, at least – commitment to keep him somewhat satisfied.
Certainly we would not advocate that ignored men should cheat or that women blindly forgive men who do.
And, not all cheating happens to women who are “stingy” with bedroom activity.
What we can do, though, is give you some tips to keep him from ever considering a “need” to cheat on you.
Your goal is to keep his attention focused firmly on you and make other woman almost invisible to him. Want to know how to do that?
Make Sure His Engine Is Running & Revving
Here is a tip we talked about just the other day, mentioning it again because, well, it works!
Slip a reason for him to come home at night into his briefcase or lunchbox each day as he sets off for work. Whether it’s a snapshot, a steamy love note, maybe a pair of panties or just a code word you make up together if he doesn’t want to be embarrassed should someone else see it. Give him a reason to come racing home after he punches out at work for the day.
Well, you do need to live up to the promise you made in the morning. No matter how many things happen during your day to drag you down, you MUST make good on that promise so that he knows what he is likely to get each and every time you drop one of your lunchbox/briefcase hints.
Maybe as a helper and a way to increase the anticipation for you, leave yourself a note reminding you of what you promised him.
Show Him That You Still Adore Him
One fallacy you don’t want to fall for is thinking that your man is going to cheat because some tall, sexy, size 4 in 5″ heels has got him in her sights at work and he can’t help himself.
Among men who cheat, the overwhelming reason why he cheats has nothing to do with the physical attractiveness of the other woman. In fact, most men who cheat have said they do not find the other woman more attractive than their wives!
She’s not thinner, leggier, bustier, or have longer, blonder hair or whiter teeth.
It’s usually not about looks at all. The real reason men cheat on their wives and risk the consequences has to do with one thing. She makes him feel adored, flattered, admired, and respected.
She doesn’t roll her eyes at his corny jokes (just like you didn’t use to). She clings to his arm and laughs. She makes the first move. She shows interest. She goes after him and makes him feel like a MAN. A winner, not a loser.
How can you do better than that?
While it may seem like a tall order, this is something you used to do but for whatever reason, don’t anymore.
Think back to the early days when you dated, is the paragraph above a description of how you treated your man then?
Remember all the things you used to tell him that you don’t tell him today. You brought out the best in him by showing him that you believed he was the best and he wants that feeling back. He’s trying to recapture that feeling that he used to have with you when he cheats.
Start giving him that feeling at home again, and give it to him often. You will absolutely ANNIHILATE the single biggest reason to stray.
The Good News For You
These two ideas are not expensive, they don’t require you getting another job. They are not particularly time consuming, unless you really abhor time in bed with him – in which case you have a very different problem.
We are not telling you to lose weight, either!
There is no huge personality change required of you. Most of these things are the sorts of things you did when you were first together and in love and happily did without being asked. Put them to work today and never worry about a cheating husband again.
Is it your fault he cheated? Not entirely, for sure, but you CAN make a difference going forward and make it so he would be a fool to risk losing you.
If you need a little more overcoming some past issues, there are programs designed to help you smooth out relationship problems, and they aren’t expensive either. You can learn more about that here.
So what do you think, is it a woman’s fault when her man cheats? Leave a comment and tell everyone what you think.