So you broke up. So it didn’t work out that time. Learn from it and apply what you’ve learned to whatever your heart desires. And if your heart so desires, get that stray boyfriend back! Regardless of the stage of your relationship, it is possible to get him back into your loving embrace. You loved each other before, and you can love each other again! You just need as much solid relationship advice as possible in order to save your relationship and get your ex back. I recommend you check this out: The Magic of Making Up.
So now that we’ve covered in great detail some critical action points you can take right now to move in the right direction towards winning back the person you fell in love with long ago, let’s dig deeper into the absolute top 3 steps you must take if you want any chance of calling him your boyfriend again.
There are all sorts of people out there today, and you need to make sure that you are never setting yourself up to be with someone who is using you in any way. You want to have a relationship with someone who has intentions of working with you as a team and will love you unconditionally for who you are.
A few days later she got in contact with me and I arranged another date. Breakfast was all I could do due to me leaving for home. It went well. So well, that she wanted to see me once more before I left. On this date she mentioned that she would be in my city in April, and that we should get drinks when she’s there. Once again, no signs that she wanted to be kissed during this date either. She even said “I know you want to kiss me, but it’s not going to happen” and I was kind of bummed. I followed her to the interstate and before I got on it I decided to try my luck and I told her to pull over. She said “No, I know you want to kiss me and it’s not happening” so I kept my cool. On the way home, she called me and I mentioned to her that she could come out to my place to visit me next weekend. As soon as I said this, she got very angry and told me that the dates were just to “keep our friendship” and that we aren’t dating anymore. She went on to tell me she had already slept with another guy. I kept my composure as best as I could but needless to say this really confused me. Where did I go wrong?
It seems that relationships become completely different things over time. An initial relationship has completely different values from a ‘vintage’ relationship. Furthermore a relationship has different values depending on your age. When relationships being, both partners have a distorted impression of each other. They are high on emotion and are in the attraction stage thus those annoying little ticks that drive you insane are unnoticeable under all of the excitement. The middle stage is withdrawal. The chemicals start to ebb after about 2 years and this is where the rationalization arguments begin. Where you argue because you are irritated and project your withdrawal on to your partner because they are no longer on the pedestal that you yourself put them. Now this where most people say good bye, or sometimes through some sense of duty and loyalty they never resolve the problems they just endure them and the unhappy relationship continues. Some others they reach another plane of a relationship. Where that person becomes a part of you. You have gone through the withdrawal and now you are life partners you are one body. In this throw away world, not enough people have enough humility or self awareness to reach this level. They are too busy trying to find their next fix after during the withdrawal phase. Sad…
Take it slow. Don’t assume you should pick up where you left off in your previous relationship, for example, sleeping together and saying “I love you,” which should not come into play until you’ve rebuilt your trust.
There is nothing you can do to undo what happened between you and your ex-boyfriend. You have to avoid focusing on the past and what might have happened. Stay focused on the present and understand that the relationship was unhealthy. You can start over and begin a new relationship that will be better and stronger.
I haven’t seen or heard from my ex in almost 2 months. Reality check. No he’s probably not lonely. He’s had more than enough time to realise he made a mistake so if he wanted to talk to me he would have by now. If he hasn’t realised it by now he never will and I’m not waiting around for something that may or may not happen. That’s just what I think anyway.
Girls need that element of challenge in their guy…she needs to feel that she won you, but not 100% yet, and to keep her on her toes/from getting bored, you should never let it quite reach 100% in her mind.
This one might sound a little cliche, but it’s helpful. Left alone with nothing but boredom and time, the mind can wander, we can start feeling like a victim and depressed, start scheming up ways to get him back, start plotting revenge or other non-healthy schenannigans. The best thing to do here is take out your calendar and start filling it up. Call all those people you’ve been meaning to call, start that new exercise thing you’ve been wanting to do, cook meals you’ve never cooked, volunteer where your heart tells you to, anything. An add on to this is to make plans for your future. Set goals, break them down, plan them out. Strategize and list out your “hell yeses”. What do you want to do that you weren’t able to do when you were attached? This is your opportunity to do what YOU want.
“Most couples break up for a reason. Depending on the reason, it may be harder for one girl to get her ex back than another. Her best bet is to try to pretend like it really isn’t bothering her. If a guy still has feelings for her at all, he will begin to question his choice. From my experience, guys tend to get bent out of shape if they see their ex talking with other guys. So bottom line: Be yourself and give him a good reason to want you back. It’s worth a try.”
When I slow down for longer than a minute and think about why we broke up (several times) it was because we weren’t right for each other. She is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. If it was meant to be then it would have been easier and you both would have fought to keep it going. But now it’s in the past and all that’s left to do is to let go of it.
Hi, my partner of 30 yrs walked out on me over a week ago…he said he doesn’t love me anymore and only stayed because of our children 12, and twins coming 4. This as left me vulnerable to do everything because I’ve been under his thumb a long time, and I never want to be put in that position ever again. I’m really struggling day by day, if I wasn’t already finding it hard before he left with everyday tasks….He said that he suffered in silence feeling lonely for 10 yrs and want’s his life back. I honestly don’t know where it’s gone wrong, due to an illness which hasn’t been properly diagnosed..that I had 11 years ago, and from my childhood I suffered social phobia and anxiety. Despite telling him I’m getting all the help I can since all this happened i don’t know if he will find it in him to love me ever again I feel as I’m all to blame.
You might think that you’ll feel better by lurking at his favorite coffee shop, but this isn’t the case. When you see him, especially if he’s with another girl, you’ll feel just like you did in the moments after your breakup. Stay away from these hangouts. It might help if you can get a mutual friend to warn you when he plans to be there so you can be elsewhere.
These are not easy things to do. But you have to move on, and removing these things as a memento of your previous relationship will help you forget him faster and for good. Challenge yourself to be strong and you’ll be surprised at how easy and how fulfilling it can be if you’re successful.
BUT… I’m sharing it with the knowingness (I KNOW because you guys are all so strong and so badass) that, by the time he does come throwing his scraps your way again, you’ll be empowered, healed, self-assured and strong enough to recognize the scraps for what they are and at that point, will have moved on.
You are so amazing and spot on and absolutely gorgeous! Excellent article!! Want to brief you with my situation. Dated a guy 5 yrs ago went on 6 dates and we connected well but I never had sex with him. He made all the effort but he’s a business guy and I was a student And he ended things since I was demNding for his time. We got back a year after and same situation. Now I’m a working surgeon grown woman. After 5 years he sends me a text on this year Valentine’s. I just got out of a relationship then. We decided to meet and it was my bday that week. He bought me a Chanel bag and took me more shopping. Had dinner at my favourite French place. Stayed in a suite. We had sex for the first time ever. Was nice and intimate. Since then he texts me everyday 3 times a day and made plans to meet me again in 2 weeks. I live 4 hrs away so he came to see me last weekend. I arranged a lovely suite on the beach and we went out for lunch played golf. He texted me saying he appreciated the effort I made and had a good time. After that he’s been distant. Not as much flirting. Btw he has a 2 yr old son he’s busy with. Single dad and has a nanny over the week. Weekends he’s full time dad. Anyways i texted him yesterday we flirted a bit. Made little small talk and he was busy traveling. Asked him he’s been bit mellow and is everything ok with work? He said all good thanks. He did say he hAs a lot of work to be done before his trip next week…No more good morning msgs or night msgs. He’s making a trip to Dubai next week with his son so surely won’t hear from him for a week. But the day before he was leaving I sent a text saying hey just wanted to know as we are adults and be honest with each other. If I’m going to invest on time and according to your busy schedule and being a single dad and if I’m going to wait for you to come back from the trip, do you want to be exclusive and date or date casually as sex buddies? So he answered saying Hey, firstly i’m sorry if my yummy mummy comments upset you – they were never intended that way.
That said, you need to reflect on your actual motives and reasons for wanting him back. Your reason should not just be because you are lonely or sad or because you are single. Also, missing him does not necessarily mean that you should immediately take the necessary action to get him back.
Also, this is slightly different than I thought I should do it. Based on what I should text him after the 30 day + few more for divorce date to go by mark, (based on your article) I have actually composed a message. The flow of the message is as follows:
My name is Kim, am here to testify of a great spell caster called Dr. Magbu Jadu. This man is truly a great spell caster indeed. I contacted this great man for a help and just within two days my problem was completely solved. My ex Husband came back to me just within 3days begging me to accept him back. Now we are fully back again as one family, all thanks to Dr Magbu Jadu and his great temple for restoring peace to my life. His contact email address is, firstname.lastname@example.org and his contact Number +2348158699475
You will understand what romantic love is all about one day. Come back and revisit your comment in about another 5 years and you will have an appreciation of people saying you are infatuated or it being puppy love. You should be about 19 now and still to young to fully understand.
Plus, you don’t want to find yourself in the goo-goo eyes phase with a new squeeze, only to invite them over and then have to explain why you still have a poem your ex wrote you hanging above your bed (I’ve been there, done that, and it’s all kinds of awkward).
Slowly start to date again. If your ex starts to flirt with you and picks up on the fact that you want him again, he may just ask you out again if he’s feeling it too. Or if you think he’s liking hanging out with you again, you can just be bold and tell him how you feel, and then start dating him again if he feels the same way.