Hang in there. Continue to work on yourself and don’t linger in the past, if she moves on, so should you. And if your decision is to only come back if she contacts you, then it’s a good idea to move on in the mean time because you don’t know if it will ever happen or not.
If the problem had to do more with him, then you can think about how you can be together again without this issue — maybe he’ll be willing to change. But if he’s not willing to change and you know this will be an issue long term, then you should consider whether or not it’s worth it to get him back.
It means that your negative emotions are in control of you. The pain of heartbreak is in control of your mind (and driving you towards all sorts of bad instincts, described in Step 2), and if you don’t detox and get rid of that pain it will push him away from you for good.
That’s precisely why we are providing you with this road map and why we invest more than 10 hours a day, every day, 365 days a year; speaking with people just like you during one on one coaching sessions, over the phone, via email or in person!
Now’s the time to speak up if you were with someone while you two were broken up. You don’t have to go into details. A simple, “I dated someone for a few months” is good enough—unless that someone was his best friend/coworker or anyone else that might trigger hurt or jealousy. It’s important to at least mention it so that there are no surprises down the road, Klow says. If your guy is upset about it (even though, hello, you weren’t together anymore), then talk about it and address any concerns or fears—and then move on.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
This is where a guy puts in almost no effort with his girl. He leaves it to her to start the messaging or calling, always. He shows no concern or sympathy for any problems she might be having. He might even fail to initiate sex often through being too chill.
Now, I am not against reconciliation. In fact, this entire website is on how to win your ex back. But I am against the idea of putting your ex before your happiness. The only reason to get back together with your ex boyfriend or your ex girlfriend is if you want to give the relationship another try and not because you need your ex.
At the same time, many, and quite possibly most, abusers, are not willing or able to apply themselves to learning better ways. The partner of an abusive individual must look realistically if their partner is one of the subgroup of abusers who does genuinely apply him/herself to making changes, or is of the larger group who are just going to keep returning to abusive and controlling behavior.
Remember that in this case a non-action (not reaching out to them) is in fact a very powerful action that will cause a reaction from your ex one way or the other; even if they don’t tell you how they feel when they don’t hear from you.
Please be advised that this is quite long (I’ve never been a fan of brevity) and that I more than respect you for even THINKING about reading it. I know how many people you serve! 🙂 I am so thankful to have found your site. I have spent the last five days (in between no sleep, no food, not leaving my room/house for 5 days, and smoking cigarettes – btw, I don’t smoke!) searching the internet for answers/guidance and found nothing of the sort until I stumbled upon this site. I have already read through the five steps as well as almost every article attached to it, and the articles attached to THOSE. I’ve also read some comments (too many to get through, but enough to have even more respect for your guidance toward your readers) and I haven’t stumbled upon a situation like mine and would appreciate any words that you might have.
If your ex-partner was the one who walked away from the relationship, it may have been for all kinds of reasons. Maybe they met someone else, maybe they felt like they tried so hard to make it work with no return, or maybe they quit easily. Perhaps they haven’t yet learned that no relationship is perfect all of the time.
2. Don’t let her disrespect you or cross any boundaries: If she starts talking about how she is attracted to the guy in the gym; don’t give her advice on asking him out. Instead; set a boundary. Tell her that even though she has all the right to do what she wants; you still have feelings for her and you don’t want to speak about this. You are not her girlfriend and she can’t discuss these things with you. Yes, she might stop talking to you for a while, but she will respect you more for it and will probably start talking again when she misses the connection you both have.