Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
Well i am absolutely in love with him and Im actually the one that broke up with him, because I knew he was cheating and he is still always flirting with me but he is also still flirting with the girl he cheated on me with and I don’t know what to do.
If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.
Apologize. Think deeply about anything you did or didn’t do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.
I really believe that couples should have similar goals and wants in life to really be compatible and work out good for the long term. Now that you’ve got a second chance with your man, take advantage of it. Things aren’t always going to be peachy 100% of the time, but the way that you two react to tough times will say a lot about your relationship. Take the time to talk to each other a lot and if you guys need a break from each other, just calmly walk away for a bit until cooler heads prevail. Nasty fights and breakups are usually avoidable when couples learn to control their emotions better.
First, married doesn’t mean faithful. This is in fact not ALL you wanted. You wanted faithfulness which you are attemping to equate to marriage. Second, it is certainly possible that he does love this other woman more, which as already stated, does happen sometimes and frankly- sucks. But it’s just a fact of life. And there’s no explanation for it, there is “no reason” why attraction/ love develops more for one than another. Yes sure, there are compatibilities that come into play which can create strong bonds, thus strengthening love- but all other things equal between the two of you, it’s simply the laws of attraction that take over (scent, appearances, etc). So finally, your likely suffering from that all powerful Feeling of rejection- which we all want an explanation for! She must be smarter, prettier, better than me! Maybe. Or maybe it’s just chemistry taking over which none of us has any control over. Maybe she’s no better than you at all. Maybe you are better than she in many ways. Nonetheless you are not chosen. I think it’s most important to stop judging yourself against an unfair benchmark. Love is not apples to apples as there’s more than just the “visible” what does she have that I don’t at play. So be fair to yourself and then ask yourself if it’s really just the actual sense of rejection that we all hate to feel, that has you stunted. Could it be that nasty ol’ “want what I can’t have syndrome”? Maybe… and if not, I’ll say a prayer to help you move on. 🙂 best wishes for a loving future!
Hi!i have known this guy for about a year. Everything was going pretty well and then after 4 months of relationship he asked me to have sex. To which I replied no. He said take or leave it. And he went away. He came back after a week and everything was normal again. Then after few months he asked me to send him a shirtless pic. To which i again refused and he said he is done and does not want to be with me anymore. I contacted him several times but still he refused! Then after about a month he came back!all this discusion was through texting we had not met. Then after this we met on his bday on which i gave him a surprise. Then he didnt like me going out every single day with my friends to which i promised him i wont go out. Then i did go out and broke his promise. He hate liars. And another fight we had was that i asked him to give me some time.. as he was not taking time out for me. He had said to me many times that he is like this. But i kept on arguing with him and so he broke off. And now he does not beleive me. What should I do??
When I met him in July he told me he loved me, missed me and that he was sorry for everything. That was the first meet up where we spent a significant amount of time together. Unfortunately, mid August to mid September has been a bad period for us, I did NC for 2 weeks of that time and so progress has slowed down/regressed.
If you can’t get over your ex boyfriend, from experience, the best thing to do is to look for new things to do. Find something that can keep your mind off of it or something that makes you feel better about yourself. You can start small. Try to improve yourself. Know that life keeps going and you need to make yourself happy.
I completely agree that there has to be a limit and I have thought about just walking away many times. I also, call him out every time I feel he’s been disrespectful to me because I won’t lower my standards for anything.
My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…
So this is my story, I met a girl in college who is a couple years younger than me and throughout that year and the next we just had an unbelievable relationship. We would talk everyday and occasionally see each other on weekends. I knew she liked me through her friends and she knew I liked her, but we never were official boyfriend and girlfriend, but there were times when we both hinted at that outcome. I told her that I want her in my life and she wanted me to be in her life, but not in the same way. I texted her saying I couldn’t be just friends with her and that I’ll always have love for her because she was the first person I fell in love with in my life. 8 months ago I made a huge mistake and went over to her house back home unannounced and did it so no one would know I was there to drop off a handwritten letter after texting her; I went over to her house 3 times because the first two times I was afraid of what she would think if I did that when I hadn’t been over there before. This mistake backfired on me and she found out I had been stopping by her house a couple times before, and it creeped her out now she has blocked me on every social media accounts and I haven’t talked to her in 8 months. I’ve been thinking a lot about her like everyday morning, during, and at night before I go to sleep, and even dream about her. I know she isn’t my ex but in other peoples eyes she was definitely more than just a friend to me, and I want nothing more to have her back in my life, but I’m pretty sure she hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. What should I do? I moved across country for work, but found out some family stuff is going on that I might have to move back home to where she and I both live, and I know that once I do I’ll be reminded of the fact that I lost the only girl I cared about and it is killing me inside. Asking for advise on what to do, and if there is anything I can do to make her trust me again and hopefully someday have her back in my life
That said, you need to reflect on your actual motives and reasons for wanting him back. Your reason should not just be because you are lonely or sad or because you are single. Also, missing him does not necessarily mean that you should immediately take the necessary action to get him back.
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Before you take any major steps to getting your ex boyfriend back it is important that you implement the No Contact Rule. Now, I am not going to go too deeply into that. In fact, I wrote an entire page just covering the no contact rule and what to do during it. You can visit that page here: No Contact Rule Guide.
What you are trying to do here is bring a similarity to light by asking a simple question. Now, in this example we are going to assume that your ex boyfriend is really big into telescopes and stuff like that. Hence, the reason I composed a text about a super moon.
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The weird part was when I had one guy leave me as soon as I had another he got jealous. He was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. I usally do the break ups but when he broke up I went with another guy I wasn’t realy all that interested in. I basiclly went with him because I was bored. Needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, I told him the truth and we got back together. I’m not sure how long it lasted but he and I stayed friends after I broke up this time. The last I heard he had issues with his life. Oh well boys will be boys I wonder what Eric thinks of that.
At the very least, you’ll be so booked up with first dates at wine bars and coffee shops that you’ll hardly have any free time to sit at home and cry to John Legend songs while you think about your ex.
worst advice is to keep in contact and be friends. all that does is set you up for the next let down. much better idea is the 30 day no contact rule. NO MATTER WHAT don’t text, call, do whatever on facebook. he’s OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
You should stop thinking about him/she. The best thing to do that is to remove there pictures and things that remind you of them. You should appreciate the things that were good and forgive the bad things. Your ex move on and so should you! Go and find someone else, someone better. Set goals and make it happen! 🙂
Maybe partly he’s just selfish, or a bit immature, and maybe (just maybe!! I don’t know you) deep down you know you can be selfish sometimes, too? My point is, if you forgive yourself, it’ll be easier to deal with him, because you’ll know he isn’t reflecting you …he’s just ever after showing his own frailties and you’re moving forward!
Some people go overboard and try and compensate for their loss by going out every night and staying up late. You are going through a stressful time, so do make sure that you leave some time to relax and be on your own. If you get over-tired, you will get over-emotional; you will need some time to quietly reflect on what has happened and to relax.
I just read what happened to you with your ex-girlfriend, becoming depressed because of a back injury at 23 and living with your girlfriends family and letting her go because you were moody and lost all self-esteem. But still being in love with her.
Broke up with the love of my life after a huge fight. He said he would never take me back again after I ended things with him numerous times. I only realized that he was the love of my life after I lost him. I want him back but I also don’t want to hurt him again. Not sure how I can even get him back, seems like he is moving on with his life.
Indulge in some cooking. If a vacation is out of the question, dive into cooking. Cooking can be very calming and relaxing. Get a recipe of a dish that you want to learn to make and cook it for friends or family; you do not have to eat alone.
The first time I got dumped was a real eye-opener; I’d literally never experienced such feelings of loss before. I was 18, green and perhaps a little bit naive. I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. In my head, I’d already plotted out life; where we would live, how many vacations we’d take, what kind of jobs we’d have.