4 Steps To Win Him Back and Keep Him
You had that special man in your grasp, but suddenly, it seems as though the moment has disappeared and you’ve lost what matters most to you. Breakups can happen for so many reasons, but if you want that guy back in your life, then you’re going to need to think carefully about the steps that you need to take. After all, it’s not entirely uncommon for couples to get back together after they’ve had some time to cool down and re-think their situation.
Primarily, your aim should be to make your ex regret breaking up with you. In other words, he should feel like he’s made a terrible mistake by even letting you go in the first place. You’re not going to get the results you’re hoping for by stalking your man on Facebook or spying on him wherever he goes – instead, you need to remind him of all the amazing times that you’ve spent together, and have him imagine what life could be like if you were still together now.
“Fortunately, it is possible to win back your old flame using your charm, talents and a positive attitude. Plus, you have history on your side.”
Ask Yourself Some Crucial Questions
First and foremost, think about what might have gone wrong in your relationship that caused the breakup in the first place. What was it that made your ex push you away, and what can you do differently if you did get back together? If the reason for your breakup was something that you’re not willing to change in yourself, then it’s pointless to pursue the relationship again, as you’ll never really be happy together.
And while you’re asking yourself some important questions about the state of your relationship, try not to be too critical of yourself, or him, as getting too emotional can lead to problems that deepen the rift between you, instead of fixing it.
Think about what prompted the two of you to fall in love in the first place, and the things that still connect you. By doing this, you’ll get a good idea of the things you might need to focus on to ensure that the relationship will work in the future. Asking the right questions about the past and the future, with regards to your relationship, will help you to decide some crucial things.
For example, you’ll be able to determine whether you really want to get your ex back in your life – or whether you’re just sad and lonely right now. It’s worth figuring out whether – deep inside, you both know that it might not work out when you two get back together. Once you’ve made sure that you’re making the right step, here are some steps that can help you get your man back into your life.
Step 1: Get Better
First of all, now that you’ve thought about the things that could have sent your lover running away from you in the first place, you’ll need to decide how you’re going to alter those features and make yourself better than ever. Take care of your appearance and show that you can be a new, more exciting version of yourself, or more like the person that your ex fell in love with in the first place.
Getting better doesn’t just mean working on issues with your attitude such as jealousy, but also ensuring that you look amazing whenever you’re going out to places where he might see you. Remind him of exactly what he’s missing. The truth is that even the smartest of guys might need to be reminded of the initial physical attraction for the wheels to start turning towards your reunion.
Step 2: Don’t Be Too Needy!
Next, try not to present yourself as someone who is desperate for love. Presenting yourself as constantly available 24/7 could give your ex the wrong impression – that you’re simply happy to wait around until he’s ready to give you a second chance, or that he can drop you and pick you up whenever he likes. If he texts you and you aren’t busy, feel free to text him back, but if you’re doing something, don’t be afraid to make him wait for a reply.
What’s more, make sure that you don’t dwell on every text you send. Tell him that you were too busy to answer the phone at the time he initially contacted you, but don’t give any details, and try to remain as casual as possible. Don’t make something up to try and make him jealous – being vague is often a much better solution. After all, dating website eharmony notes that:
“Being needy or clingy in a relationship creates that exact dynamic and can have the opposite effect you long for.”
Step 3: Avoid Picking Up Random Guys
Your first instinct may be to make your ex jealous by going on the rebound and collecting some new notches for your bedpost. But most of the time, grabbing new men left and right won’t help you to get your ex-boyfriend back in your life. Your aim should be to act as intelligently as possible.
If you’re going to a place where you know he’ll likely be, make sure he can see that guys are mingling around you, and that other people are paying attention to how great you look – but whatever you do, don’t dangle a new boyfriend in his face.
The more pictures you post on Facebook of you making out with random guys, the more chances you have of making him feel angry and hurt. Instead, you need to show him that you’re still emotionally available, but that other guys can be interested in you too. According to Wikihow.com:
“The key to getting guy to fall for you, basically, is all about ego… ours, that is.”
Step 4: Show Him That You’re Still The Person He Fell in Love With
Chances are that your ex was attracted to you because something about you made him feel great – in other words, you were fulfilling both his emotional and physical needs. Show him how you’ve changed, and try to correct any bad habits or mistakes that you’ve made in the past.
Be positive, smile and laugh, and show him that you feel good about yourself, and can make the people around you feel good too! If you seem miserable and stuck in the past, then he’ll know nothing has changed. But don’t be too drastic in your alterations either – after all, he needs to know you’re still the woman he fell in love with.