I am at the point in my life of really wanting to settle down and be happy. I just don’t know which route is the right one at the moment as I am drawn to them both in different ways – they both have amazing qualities.
For example, you can’t talk to your ex at all about your previous relationship or where things stand right now. However, you are allowed to talk to them about who picks up the kids from school or things like that.
Make sure she wants you back. Once you feel like you’ve grabbed her attention and have even made her a little jealous, it’s time to check in to make sure that she really wants you back before you tell her how you really feel. Though you don’t have to know how she feels with 100% certainty, the more sure you are that she wants you back, the less likely you’ll be to embarrass yourself. Here are some signs that she wants you back:
Regardless of whether she contacts you or you contact her, you have to sneak in and present her your new, confidence and changed version. You will have to use your position as a friend to build attraction.
You see, getting your ex-girlfriend back is clearly a matter of knowing what she wants… and giving it to her. Now here’s where things gets messy: most men don’t have a clue what that is. What’s worse is that most women don’t either… and the one’s that do — simply won’t tell you. They’d rather eat dirt than hand over the combination to their hearts.
So I have a problem with this girl that is sort of similar and I am wondering if anyone can help me. I met this girl 6 months ago. She had just broken up with her boyfriend who she had been dating for 3 years and was engaged to. We hit is off and started hanging out together and spent a good deal of time together. One night when I was drunk I ran into her and she took me back to her place where we hooked up, no sex though. Needles to say I woke up the next morning some what confused and it was a fairly awkward morning after. We parted ways after that and didn’t really spend much time together after that. However I decided to reignite several weeks later and it worked. We started hanging out a lot and I could tell that she really fell for me. However what she didn’t tell me was that she had gotten back together with her boyfriend. This proved to be difficult because when I started to push for us to get closer, more physical, perhaps be in a relationship ourselves, she told me she had a boyfriend and declined. All the while though, she was getting closer to me and we began to get physical. She started to call me her “boyfriend” and would get jealous if I “checked out” other girls. Eventually, SHE brought up sex while we hooking up one night, and I declined several times, telling her no, not while you have a boyfriend. One night she got really drunk (it was both my birthday and her anniversary with her boyfriend). She fought with him, told me she needed me, and other things of this nature. It was a terrible night, but eventually she left with him. The next day she came back to my place and we had sex. But following this, our semester ended and we haven’t seen each other in 2 months. At first she continued to be interested in me, trying to set up times to hang out, constantly telling me how much she missed me and such. But now she tries to tell me that she never had any feelings for me, that I pressured her to do things she didn’t want to. That she only wants to be friends, that she never wanted to date me and other bullshit. I know its all a lie, I think the distance we have right now is putting a strain on things because she can easily see her “boyfriend” but not me. I tried a variant of the Zebra boyfriend destroyer to bring up some of the emotions that she felt before, and I think it worked fairly well, but I still think that she is drifting away from me. I know its not really pick up to try and sustain a relationship, but I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to reignite those feelings again, to break away the walls she puts up, such as the “I only want to be friends” “I never really wanted to be in a relationship with you” and especially how she denies all the times when she absolutely wanted me. I also was wondering if anyone has any ideas of how to get rid of her boyfriend. He is a loser, and I know she has been reevaluating her relationship with him lately. My plan right now is to give her time to cool off, then when we get back to school and start seeing each other everyday to lay it on hard, tell her that Im not interested in being friends. I know she values me in her life, and I think presenting her with the very real possibility of losing me might do the trick. Im not sure if this is the best strategy though. Any tips at all would be appreciated, Im really drawing a blank as to what my next immediate move should be. thanks in advance for your help
You know what I will miss, the love you have for me and the way you adore me, I’m afraid I will never have that again. But in saying that I want to have that for someone too. It’s one thing to say someone feels that way toward you but it’s completely different to have those feelings for someone else. I imagine its almost like a high or a drug addiction. And you must want that for your self. For god sake I want that for you, but I know I can’t. The only way this relationship could work is by me having those feelings and that’s not something you cannot create. You are perfect the way you are and you will find someone that adores all your qualities and they will not want you to change in anyway.”
If you feel like you need more support, I do Skype calls to get guys heads back in the right place after a breakup. One hour, $200 and we’ll get you empowered again. Email me and we can talk about setting a time up.
I would honestly recommending just talking to him casually since it’s something you can’t seem to walk away from. At least by talking to him, even if things don’t turn out well, you may get some form of closure that you lack. Also, your fights with your current partner may be causing amplified feelings of you missing your ex so it’s something you should take note of. Perhaps ask yourself first, if your current relationship is a healthy one, and secondly decide if your feelings towards your ex is based on the bad experiences you’re going through or something more.
Recall who initiated the breakup. Was it you? If so, did you do it after careful thought or in a fit of anger that you now regret? Was it your ex, and did he or she have specific reasons? Was it a mutual decision?
Long story short, been together 5 years on and off. She left 5 times and came back. I’m 36 & she’s 35. Spoke about getting weddings and family, moving out together, met each other’s families, the whole lot!
To be entirely honest, there’s always a chance, but in long distance relationships, that chance can be a lot slimmer. If she’s dating someone new and he is in the same country as her, it’s very hard for you to compete because anything you do without being in close proximity can easily be misinterpreted. I would honestly suggest that you be fair to yourself and not contact her for the time being. Practice the No Contact rule for a period before considering anything again.
For one, if you call her when she isn’t “ready” to talk to you it can kind of hurt your ego to not have her pick up. Secondly, what if she is in the middle of a class or meeting? I would rather you not put that kind of unnecessary pressure on her.
Timing is another crucial part of talking to an ex girlfriend. Approaching her with the right words at the right time can easily turn your ex around, getting her to see your past relationship – and possible future – in a whole different light.
If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it. Remember above when I said I spent a lot of time researching this topic? Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule.
If movies, TV shows and pop songs are to be believed, this one is the most popular option. In fiction, it seems, nobody breaks up without getting back together again. In real life, of course, that’s not exactly the case, and lots of people probably pursue reconciliation with an ex they should just leave alone because the idea that getting back together is romantic” has been drilled into their heads by pop culture, or because they’re so afraid of being alone they’d rather be with someone who was making them miserable than with no one. So what situations could you hypothetically make it work with an ex?
Given the circumstances, even if he moves on and dates someone else, he would not be happy and the same issues would occur. If he is genuinely depressed that it’s affecting his happiness and daily life, you should strongly recommend he seeks help and go through therapy to recover as ‘being there’ alone would not be enough.
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won’t talk to you, won’t be friendly and perhaps won’t answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as “Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now”. Most of all, realize that if you don’t get the answers or discussion you’d hoped for, that it’s not a reflection on you, as you’ve shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend’s method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn’t a slur on you.
Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. 🙁 I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
You can do this through building positive rapport with her through text messages or on the phone. While you are building that rapport you want to do your best to remind her what she loved about you in the first place without actively reminding her (if that makes any sense.)
The fact is, if your ex starts dating someone else soon after a breakup, then it’s definitely a rebound relationship. And rebound relationships never last. In fact, it just means that after you broke up, your ex had a huge hole in their life that they are trying to fill with someone new. In many cases, they rush into it too soon and things get too serious really fast. There is nothing to worry about as the faster it moves, the faster it will end.
I really recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. Your girlfriend was right about at least one thing: You liked her way more than she liked you. She was ready to separate, meanwhile you’re super aware of if she has logged into Facebook. Mark identifies the kiss of death early in relationships: being needy. I recommend the whole book for more detail, but it sounds like this relationship was doomed because of neediness. Check it out, I think you’ll find it really illuminating
Michael Fiore has launched his proven ex back program ‘Text Your Ex Back’ in which he reveals a powerful text messaging system that help me and thousands of his previous clients in getting ex girlfriend back. This Text Your Ex Back contains much more than simple text messages. It teaches what mistakes you did that ends your relationship and how to get your ex girlfriend back by using simple yet powerful text messages .
However, make it a point to do this intimate talk in person. Avoid doing it over the phone, through text or online chat. What you should do, instead, is to invite her to have dinner with you. If possible, do it in your favorite restaurant or coffee shop to increase your chances of rekindling the feelings.
This reality completely baffles one of my friends. “I just don’t get how you can live together and not still have sex,” he’s told me three separate times. It’s simple, really. Not wanting to have sex with each other anymore was the whole reason Katie and I broke up, and it’s exactly why she makes such a stellar roommate. Because isn’t it the golden rule of finding a good roommate making sure that you don’t want to jump their bones?
Guys, let’s have some real talk here: you miss your ex girlfriend. Society wants to teach guys to be tough and to not have the same soft feelings that women have, but that’s just not realistic. When you get together with a woman and share intimate moments and time with her, you’re going to have fond feelings that are hard to shake if or when you break up.
Given that she hasn’t grown, I don’t think getting back is the right call. But since you have demonstrated a lot of attractive qualities in focusing on yourself and cutting the cord, she may try to get back with you. To me, that seems like a bad idea though, given what a catalyst for growth breaking up has been
You have a small chance because you’ve already done two nc right? And you still ended up being emotional and now apologizing to him.. Either move on or really stick to genuinely changing your life for the better for yourself, not for him before trying to rebuild rapport..
No. You shouldn’t answer your ex’s call. The only exception to this is if you are close to ending your no contact and you are already feeling great about your life. If you think that talking to your ex will have you obsessing about them again, don’t answer their call.
Yes, you should definitely have this conversation with him. I recommend that you write down the type of relationship you want in your life. Write down the 5 most important thing for you in a relationship. And after that, write down your boundaries. Write down what is non-negotiable for you. This could be things like “Cheating, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse etc.”
Ouch! That definitely hurts. Nevertheless, if you get a response like this you just have to be polite, positive and collected. Remember, you are the one that has to be in control. You may have made one of the following mistakes:
Play hard to get. If you really want to win your ex back over again, then you have to play hard to get once you get back into her life. Sure, you’ve had coffee, maybe seen a movie, or have even gone back to texting each other or chatting on the phone every few days, but that doesn’t mean you should be completely available to her. You have to find the balance between making her think that you’re at her beck and call.