There’s more to getting your ex back than this post of course. Every situation is different and requires a slightly different approach. Hopefully at least one tip from above rings a bell and gets you closer on your path to getting Mr. Right back to where he should be, with you, the perfect girlfriend for him. Once you get him back, don’t take him for granted – a relationship… love… is something you must work on and maintain so that the fire keeps burning, if you just leave it unattended it’ll either go out or get out of proportion and burn down a whole forest.
The following behaviors are some of the big “No-No’s” that I see women fall into after a breakup. Now, I am going to be giving you a bulleted list to go on below but I will also expand on them after that:
I’m not going to lie. It’s going to take a lot of patience, discipline, and practice. But if you’re are serious about winning your ex boyfriend back, you should be prepared to go the extra mile. Especially if he’s the one.
Our brains work in hilarious ways sometimes. That’s why we need to give ourselves a reality check and make sure that when we take a stroll back down memory lane, we remember that it wasn’t perfect all the time.
So amazing! I’ve been grieving for a week. Literally crying myself to sleep every night, and sobbing while deleting all of our pictures we took together. But this has saved me. And I’m crying now because I’m so happy that i stumbled upon it. Thanks so much for sharing!
Hopefully i can get some help. I left my boyfriend(whom is my son’s father as well) roughly two years ago. throughout the two years we had contact with each other because of my son but i tried to keep conversation between us as minimal as possible. I left him because we were financially unstable, he was unemployed for several months, and he cheated. With a newborn and being financially responsible for two people took a toll on me, not to mention i was already down because of the cheating. i took the past two years to 1.) force him to make a change since he didn’t have his family, 2.) to heal myself and come to terms with everything. Throughout the two years he tried to constant;y get back wiht me, but i just couldn’t, i loved him but was still hurt about everthing that happened. Now i have changed as a woman and i forgave him for everything that has happened, i just needed to do it for my well being.But now i told him i wanted toget back with him, to try and work things out for our sons sake and because i simply love him. but now he’s in a relationship and has been dating this person for about 7 months. im so hurt and down about all this. i want him back and quite simply don’t know what to do. Hopefully someone can help me out here ?
Your ex might still want to contact you even after breakup. If this happens, it will certainly make it harder for you to forget him. Be respectful but mindful of your needs. You can change your number (or block his), and delete his number from your contact list. If you memorized his number, you will really have to discipline yourself and do your best not to contact him.
So let go of over-thinking about the other. That’s part of what doesn’t work in relationships. Responsive is fine, Trying to guess all the time what the other person thinks or will do, that’s disaster.
You and your boyfriend just split up and you are hurting. You might be tempted to dive into the carton of ice cream in your freezer, or you could find yourself clicking on his Facebook or Twitter feeds. You need healthy ways of moving past this breakup so you can put yourself into a new and happier place. Hovering over his social network sites won’t help — it’ll make your eventual recovery harder.
2. If your answer to both questions was yes, go ahead and reach out. Start off super-casual to take the temperature of things. Say something like, “It was so nice to see your name on Facebook! How are you?” His response will reveal a lot. If his reply is short and curt (“Hey there, hope all’s well.”) that’s not a good sign. If he’s effusive (think exclamation points or a smiley face) and asks you questions about yourself, that’s a green light to take things a step further.
Thank you for your reply, he has not blocked me just deleted me, I got the impression that it was out of anger but I’m not sure. He has not blocked my phone number so should I message when NC is over?
Now realize yourself (and make a mental note right now) that many couples get together after a breakup, every single day! This is not just a fantasy, you can achieve this goal if you put your mind to it!
For sure though, whatever their ultimate relationship decision, both Peter and Paulette feel out of their lifeboat and back on solid ground. The panic of a devastating waterfall ahead has been replaced by anticipation of a safer and sunnier future, whether in fact they end up together or apart.
In all honesty, though, if I allow another man to treat me to a nice dinner or buy me a drink and have a good conversation, it reminds me that there are other guys out there who will be nice to me. That’s very important. You need to be reminded that there are nice guys out there or you won’t be able to move on.
Some people say that time heals all…or if not all, at least calms folks down so that they have a shot of enjoying pleasant interactions again. If you’ve been apart only two weeks, it might be a good idea to relax and rejuvenate for a while before you try to reconnect.
The first time I got dumped was a real eye-opener; I’d literally never experienced such feelings of loss before. I was 18, green and perhaps a little bit naive. I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. In my head, I’d already plotted out life; where we would live, how many vacations we’d take, what kind of jobs we’d have.
Either allow your emotions to turn you into a batsh*t psycho that he was glad he got away from or sew him a new butt hole by being the unapologetically graceful, happy, confident girl that you absolutely have to appear to be.
Learning to distinguish between the internal image of an ex and the actual person can lead to appreciation of our own loving feelings. While we may feel consistently injured and angry when in the presence of an ex, in our internal world we may be able to access love and compassion for that same person.
So yesterday I was like I don’t need him to admit anything. I know what I know so why am I waiting for him to admit it. So I was watching the football game and a text came in from him asking if he could rent a movie on my prime account. I responded “seriously? NO!” Then I told him he should ask Sarah the next time he needs anything. I proceeded to call him a f–ng a-hole and a liar and told him to lose my number. He responded called me bitter and a psycho and I should lose his number too. I replied “Better. Your number is blocked!” Which I proceeded to do. It felt really good. So I am here looking for how I can get over him. I mean I loved him and we were together a longtime. I was just disappointed that he didn’t tell me he was interested in some other chick. One thing I have learnt is a-holes always come back if WE let them! Not any more.
this is the first time i read this article. .actully his my boyfriend until now. .i just want to forget him even though were still in a relationship. . i just want to prepare myself from getting hurt. coz i know to myself that if one day i lose him .. i will die thats why im preparing….
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I want you to do me a favor. Think back on the last 24 hours, the time that precipitated your mad Google search for how to get him back after a breakup. What has your state of mind been like? What have you been feeling? Thinking? Doing?
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
I’ve noticed in the comment section that comments aren’t replied to often by the author of the article, so I decided to give a response in hopes to help in some way. I think you should do what it says in the article. Stop focusing on getting him back and focus on yourself. I can tell you the more you chase a guy, the further he’ll run, so you really do need to stop reaching out to him and leave him alone as he requested. It feels counterintuitive, but I promise you the more you chase him the faster you’ll push him away. Leave him alone, and focus on yourself. Don’t look at him as your only source of happiness. If he is, you need to start building your life with things that make you happy—like the article says. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be sad and grieve the breakup; but you need to take care of yourself emotionally regardless. Show yourself there’s more to your life and your happiness than Marc. It sounds to me like he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship if he can’t handle the normal struggles in life and meet your needs. In a relationship, even when things get really tough, you still have to be willing to make the relationship a priority. If he keeps breaking up with you every time he’s in a bad place emotionally, he’s not handling the balance of life and a relationship. It’s not your fault. And I don’t know if you can get him back. I think the important thing though is to love yourself FIRST, always. You really need to evaluate if you want a partner who leaves you every time things get tough. You can’t control him—you can only control yourself. So make changes in yourself. Stop being focused on him and getting him back, and get focused on you—just as he is doing. Put yourself first. Any of these relationship experts will tell you if you want your ex back, you have to work to getting over them first. That also sounds counterintuitive, but it isn’t. It helps you really get a clear mind on if this person is compatible to you or not, and it allows the person to miss you and realize their mistake if it was one. When you’re in this fog of heartbreak and love, you can’t look at it from a clear perspective, and if you keep contacting him you’re not giving him a chance to miss you. He has to miss you and have time apart from you to realize his mistake, if it is one. Take a step back and work on making yourself happy. I promise you, if he really wants you, he will come back and pursue you. You have to make sure you still want him at that point—and above all else BE SURE to continue to focus on your happiness FIRST even if you do get back together with him. The time for him to come back (if he does) really varies. Sometimes it’s a month, sometimes it’s a year. But you cannot wait for that. You have to work on moving on, even if he comes back. That’s going to give you your best shot at getting him back, and your best shot at being happy.
Since this not likely true and doubtful that your ex would replace you that fast, it’s best to not even think about this at the time being. Taking a step back means just that. Let everything go for a bit and take a timeout from dealing with any boy issues at the present. You need a clear head and clear thoughts that aren’t clouded by irrational and unlikely hypotheticals. Don’t even let your thoughts go there.
You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!
You are right that you may not be able to use the good memories from your past relationship in rebuilding attraction with him. But that is only a small part of the plan. The biggest thing that attracts an ex back is the changes you make in yourself. If you can show him that you have truly changed and are a new person after you have finished no contact, you can definitely attract him back. Read this article for more info on what to do after no contact.
As I was going through this site, I saw your comment and read it. I don’t really have a suggestion for your problem, but I felt like your story and my story of break up was kinda similar. We broke up 2weeks ago after dating for almost 3years. He was really a nice guy, my first true love and he’s the one I broke my virginity to. He wanted to marry me but I didn’t want to because we were different (although I was in love with him) plus my mom wouldn’t allow me. So he called it quits over text messages. I was so sad and depressed because I really loved him(and I still do). I begged for one more chance but he’s too hurt to take me back and he said I took him for granted. He wanted to be friends but I acted to clingy by writing all those Romantic texts. Later on we fought over the phone and hadn’t contacted for around a week. Then few days later he showed up again through txt asking me if I am still mad at him. He said he wants to be my friend and also he will help me if I have problems but he doesn’t want me back anymore. I don’t know what does it mean.