Magdeline, you need to first realize that you are amazing and have so much more worth than he is making you out to have. He was with you for a year and had a fiance too?? He is the total loser. And not only did he cheat on you with someone he was engaged to, but then he tried to make you out to be the bad guy? Magdeline, please move on from him. You should block him, not the other way around. You need to see your value and realize who you are. Find yourself and know what you are worth. And then someone will come along who will treat you right. It is totally worth it to be single for a little while than to be with a 2-timing jerk like him. Please say you’ll stay away…
He told me he loves me, but felt like I was smothering him and he needed to find himself. I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that. I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. He said he worships the ground I walk on and should never change because I was perfect in the relationship and will go far in life whereas he feels like he has nothing to offer since he is grieving and stuck in a job he doesn’t like.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
It was painful for me to wake up in morning after such a failure. I tried dating with new people to make him jealous and even I tried no contact but nothing works for me. As I desperately want to get my ex boyfriend that’s why I started looking for relationship experts advice over the internet.
Thank you. So you are saying it won’t be a bad move considering his ex wife is going to be on his mind that day and it will be the end of an era? Will it not make him think that I am pouncing on him the moment he is available? Or it will come across as me being there for him on a hard day, irrepsective of what has happened between us? Is there a chance he will think I am inconsiderate to message him that day to bring myself into the day as well?
By understanding the situation, yourself and your ex, you’re already in a much better position to rebuild your relationship than most people would be. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. Plenty of couples jump back into a relationship, only to have the same fights and another breakup as a result.
While you do not want to change who you are in order to get your ex back (because eventually they would leave again, since the real you has to return at some point), it is always helpful to be the best you can be. Your ex was attracted to you and you can try to regain that attraction.
You are right, the respect thing in the relationship is a big issue and you should have a serious but calm discussion about it with her, in fact you both should let one another know what is important in order to make this new relationship a happy success for both of you. You don’t wanna run into the same mess as before.
This is a clever tactic that you may have heard of before, and how it works is pretty straightforward. You simply cut off all communication with your ex for about 30 days. Now you may be thinking, “But what if he forgets about me?” or “There’s no way disappearing is going to help me get him back,” but the truth is, removing yourself from the picture will make your ex miss you.
Then imagine everyone liking and loving you! Imagine them wanting to be near you and talk to you and be friends with you! Imagine being surrounded by a crowd… imagine how they completely adore you! You are a star and you’re fabulous! They can’t help by admire you and be drawn to you! Thank them for giving you that attention!
The grand finale and what I think is THE most important thing in getting over your ex. I’ve written about this several times before, and even started a revolution with my BFF on the topic of self love.
For the first 2 years plus in our relationship, empty/unfulfilled promises from me, misbehaving, overspending, lack of proper planning, spending too much time/money on games and infidelity caused our first 2 breakups.
This is not a problem as long as you accept it. You’re not emotionally attached to him anymore, and you’re not going out of your mind because he hasn’t called you back. But you’re human and sometimes at night as you close your eyes you will think about him. You may even think about him after ten years, but just embrace these feelings. They’ll swim in and out.
It’s tempting to think of jumping into a relationship with a new guy, just to show him how desirable you are. But give your heart and emotions time to heal. Take that alone time and use it to get comfortable being by yourself and learning more about why your breakup happened, the Marie Claire website advises. While you’re by yourself, begin to deal with the breakup and what led to it.
At the very least, you’ll be so booked up with first dates at wine bars and coffee shops that you’ll hardly have any free time to sit at home and cry to John Legend songs while you think about your ex.
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
From this point you can move on to the next stage of building the desire in him to want to be with you again. If the above three-step formula shows that there is still a chance of the two of you getting back together then it should be more than possible to re-ignite those flames of love quickly.
At the same time, many, and quite possibly most, abusers, are not willing or able to apply themselves to learning better ways. The partner of an abusive individual must look realistically if their partner is one of the subgroup of abusers who does genuinely apply him/herself to making changes, or is of the larger group who are just going to keep returning to abusive and controlling behavior.
If you guys have been broken up for about 2 months since, and she still has not replied you,you might have to consider the fact that she has moved on. If you’re prepared to wait it out and chase her again, then I suggest giving her a little more time before you try reconnecting once again.
“Listen, whether you like it or not, you’re in the midst of a big transition and you’re going to need support,” Scarborough says. “That’s why I believe it’s best to have more than one friend or family member at the ready and to tell them what you’re going to need from them. And don’t you dare try to do this alone because you’re too proud to ask for help. This is exactly what friends are for.”
I now find myself wondering what the best way forward is, although he has given me some hope by saying that he still wants to date and try and rekindle the spark he has also crushed any hope I have by moving further away from me and saying that ok ye we’ll date but it might not actually lead to our relationship being given another go. I now find myself in this weird limbo where I don’t really know what to do and crying on a daily basis! I have read your article and have found it very helpful. Could you advice what you think would be best to do? Thanks.
I know its hard, ive had break ups as well. What you should do is keep going about your daily routines and activities. Do things you enjoy, even if right now you cant find much joy. Mourn the loss but realize you are going to be ok. Your life is full of promise.
Part of the reason we get stuck in processing our break up is that we idealize the relationship as a big collection of amazing, emotionally fulfilling times with very little downside. In reality, you fought frequently and there were core incompatibilities that drove you apart.
If he ever thinks that you are stalking him or acting needy in any way, he could seriously be pushed away. Instead of missing you, he could end up feeling that he was lucky to have it end when it did.
Date other people. Just because you’re not over your breakup doesn’t mean you can’t date other people, especially if you keep it casual. You don’t have to be looking for the perfect person. Instead, go out and have fun. When it gets back to your ex that you are dating someone, he will more than likely be jealous.
Take it one step at a time. A break up is not an easy thing to get through. But always remember why you break up with your ex in the 1st place and accept it. Then try to move on knowing that you can do better.
Loves consumes us,so its hard to let go,but when its becoming a stain to the heart after a year,you need to focus your heart somewhere else,probably get involves with someone else to help divert your attention a little if not completely,then try and get in touch with your ex,physically or telephone coversation,it helps you to figure out why you’re holding onto someone that’s already gone.
After saying sorry and explaing what type of relationship I really want i have done about 2 week long NC as suggested. On Christmas day to my surprise I got a Christmas greeting and my ex initianated a short conversation and this morningI got good morning greeting as it was a habit before breakup and it seems my ex wants to come over. I am very happy but my consern is that: I dont wanna be a doormat in long term. So I plan to initiate a converstation about the situation: I want to give it a try to a serious relationship with him but I dont want to be with him at any cost. Do you think it is appropriate. I mean I am happy that he comes or sg but I dont want to be just used and abused. Taking into account our past story it can be an issue.
The step by step advice and help found on this website is a fantastic start toward winning back your boyfriend. You’ll dissect the important components of your break up, and gain initimate knowledge of how everything looks through the eyes of a man. As you read each article, you’ll learn the best ways (and the worst ways) to make your ex want you back. And if you’re serious about getting back together, you’ll also read The Magic of Making Up.
my girl and i been going through it, she said its best if we take a break im fine with that but i can’t cope with not having her in my life sometimes you have to fight for the person you really believe in guys. give them a little space it may be hard but you have to think about the bigger picture and that’s making yall be stronger in the long run!
A rebound relationship will impede your progress in truly getting over your ex. It will do nothing for you. In fact, it will only ADD TO THE PROBLEMS you are having emotionally. Besides, you don’t want to use somebody to make yourself feel better. It’s bad karma.
Laziness is why most relationships fail, and that’s what happens when people take each other for granted. Don’t be one of those couples. Take initiative if he doesn’t, you can totally do it! I believe in you.