I BROKE IT OF WITH MY “WIFE” NEVER WAS ACTUALLY MERRIED WANTED TO 4 THE PAST 16 YEARS AND I COULDNT BECAUSE SHE WAS STILL MARRIED ON TOP OF THAT SHE MESSED AROUND WITH HER X LESB GF WHILE SHE STILL WAS WITH ME WTF
My injury was a back injury which has gone. The main reasons I became depressed were because of my girlfriend bringing home the bread, living in her family home without working and of course being 23 with a back injury… I was terrified that was it for me, and that when telling people I had to leave because of my back… Sounds a bit like bs. I’ve heard of people using this as an excuse to claim disability because the back is difficult to tell whether there is or isn’t anything wrong. So of course I felt people were looking down on me for this. Very insecure I became.
I’ve written before about being totally and completely “over it”, and many times I don’t think people get to a place where they are 100% non-feeling about their past relationships. Perhaps it’s like scar tissue on their hearts….there is a great deal of healing, but there is still some residual sting associated with it. But, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean that you still want to be with your ex, or still have feelings for that person. It just means that you’re human, you had an emotional, probably intimate attachment to this person and that’s okay. It’s what you do with those thoughts is what counts. If the thoughts of your ex send you tailspinning into grief, or hating yourself for what you did in the relationship or because he broke up with you, that’s where it can get dangerous (see #9). But, if you still think of this person and have some minor hurt feelings over it, in my opinion, it’s normal.
What should I need to do ? I am on day 8 of no contact it’s really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due to long distance tho we’ve been seeing each other in webcam. We had some argument he keeps telling we are going to see each other in person but he never make plan. I find out Jan 1st this year he traveled to Dubai to spend vacation with Indonesian girl.(before that incident I caught him sexting with that girl, that Indonesian lady asking him to send her a porn he said they haven’t see each other yet and the girl was virgin he said it was nothing ugh I’m so stupid to believe)
Hi Ryan, dude where are you? I really need your help. I’m really trying to not a mistake here man. It’s been maybe half a month since the NC.. it’s been working like a charm.. couples days ago my ex sees me at work and days I looked good and like I’ve changed..also that I was happy. She text me that same day saying how much she missed my presence in her life, how she missed her best friend. I didn’t respond and then she text me a photo saying remember the good times.. also said she was going thru her phone deleting pics of us and didn’t know which to keep. I then replied I miss you too. We started chatting back in forth and remembering all the good things. She texted me all night. Then the next day says she loves me and misses.. I tell her too. We talked a lot about how much we loved one another. Don’t know if that was a right move ..yesterday she sends me a message at work that was a song. “Baby while were young , let’s do what we want, I want you, you’re mine and I don’t care who’s know it, I’m down for you” just a few things she sent me! I’m confused because after work I waited to talk with her but she ran out quickly and I’m sure when went to meet up with someone else. She didn’t go home last night. She also didn’t text me anymore.. so confusing what’s going on.. not sure what to do or expect! Please help dude! I really want her back and I can’t tell if I messed up the NC rule. She definitely has been seeing someone else lately. Please write me back soon.. she wants to me up tonight to go eat. Don’t know if I should go
Your ex was attracted to you because they felt good with you and you were fulfilling their emotional needs. How have you changed (if at all)? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around them. Laugh and smile. Always stay positive to feel good about yourself and make yourself attractive to others.
In that situation your girl will, in return, go cold on you too. Again, she ends up feeling disconnected from you, “he’s being distant”, and so she breaks up with you, leaving you needing to learn how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast.
After all the answers were in he told the band to start playing their songs. When the band ultimately finished playing he then posited the same question to the audience, how attractive do you think each of the band members are?
Join a gym. You can lift weights, go to classes, and get out of the house. You might even meet someone. If you don’t want to join a gym, then get outside. Go running, take a hike, ride a bicycle, or go kayaking. Try any kind of physical activity.
You will need to begin by sorting your thoughts out. Even if there’s a chance, some distance is first required before re-initiating contact with your ex. Distance does not mean time frame of the breakup but rather, the amount of contact made during the particular time frame, and the changes you’ve made to impress her. Right now, she needs to deal with the emotional trauma of losing a child. She is pushing you away probably because you are unable to provide the emotional support she requires, and by constantly pestering her, you lower your own chances because she will eventually lose respect and feelings for you. I would still recommend no contact first, and to figure out where you need to grow as a person, before thinking about winning her back.
First&foremost those ideas&advices are very relevant to atleast a baby steps of how to move on from your ex’s whom you love the most…been so helpless&so much hurting these past few months&days those are so difficult to overcome…my boyfriend left for the states for 3mons now…for he will work there…but unfutunately his first family with him re unite… at first month he used to called me but then this aug.29’2016is the last time he called…i never knew that it will happened again & again he done it so many times but i still forgive him… until now we dont talk… coz i cannot reach on him coz i dont have anycontact.number frm him…so painful & so awful that we end like this i shouldsay coz i really love him with all my heart & soul…as i count the yrs we had its been 15yrs he come &go, US to Manila Philippines is so difficult hardest LDR…right this very moment i felt so alone & having so much thinking about us., of how can i move on from my past…but then again i got read this article & gave me ideas that can help me..thank you&more power!
I broke up with my boyfriend around 1 month ago. We have been in a long distance as we come from different countries, and he’s currently on working holiday. We’ve been together for almost 9 months, including 4 months together in both Taiwan and New Zealand. We are both around 25. He said he doesn’t know what he wants, we’re in a long distance relationship, and even if he comes to Taiwan again, he will keep traveling, he will meet new people, thus he decided to break up with me as he felt he’s not ready for a long-term relationship, even if he cried and it was a hard decision for him as well. He said we could still be good friends even if at that time I didn’t think so.
Sorry, but you don’t. If you’re on the dumped end of a broken relationship, you’ll need patience and strategy above all else. Without these things, everything you do will be doomed to failure. So many women make desperate, hasty decisions just after a break up. They make rash moves without thinking – moves that only serve to push their man away – only to realize and regret it later on.
If someone brings up something about your ex later, claim that you didn’t know, even if you did. Make sure it’s clear to your ex (even through the grapevine) that you are not interested in his life and are not keeping up with him.
Make sure that once you meet again, he will find you as someone he fell in love with before – someone who is hard for any men to resist not only because of your looks but also because of your confidence and personality.
If you and your ex recently broke up, take a break and focus working on any problems that might have led to the breakup. When you feel ready, make him notice you by going to parties he goes to or posting fun things on social media. Ask him to casually hang out, but make sure to always say goodbye first – you want to make him sad to see you go! As you hang out, read his body language to see if he seems interested, and try flirting with him if he does! For tips on keeping him this time around, read on!
Hi there, I would like to know if you think there is any hope. My bf of eight months broke up with me saying he wasn’t sure about the next step. Things had been pretty good up until then although we were going slow. I am the first girl he’s liked in five years and his history doesn’t seem very strong in relationships. He was engaged about twenty years ago (he’s 46 now) and he thinks that’s the one time he might’ve been in love. Before he went overseas he made an announcement that I was the total and complete package for him and I thought he was going to propose and instead he broke up with me a few days later saying he wasn’t ready for the next step. He confused me so much when he did that because he seemed totally devastated to do it and wouldn’t stop crying. Then he went overseas for six weeks to visit his dying father, then he came home and we had a few romantic nights. I lost it with him a few times because I couldn’t work out where his head was at and have said some nasty things to him. Nasty to the point where I’m surprised he still speaks to me. His father died a few weeks after he got home, he had to go away again and before he left we were in a good place friend-wise. He has two friends in the city we live in and I’m one of them. He had a pretty traumatic time overseas arranging the funeral etc and I only got one email in four weeks but I knew he had stuff to do so I didn’t worry. Anyway, he’s home now and we had one dinner and drinks date the other night which went well but at the end of it he told me he can’t ever see us back together. I cried of course and told him I couldn’t be friends with him because I want everything from him and friends would never be enough. I even told him I’d thought he was going to propose. He’s pretty upset that I don’t want to be friends and I asked him to pretty much pretend I don’t exist at work (we’re in different divisions so don’t need to speak for work and it’s a huge building). He’s pretty much used to me sending cute messages every couple of days so he knows he’s loved and cared for but I’ve started no contact on him and haven’t done anything at all. He’s seen me twice at work (and I promise I looked very hot!) and looked like he wanted to walk straight over to me but respected what I’d asked for and just smiled at me. When we last spoke he kept begging me to take some time and then maybe I’d be able to be friends with him so I know it’s not his get out of jail free card and he genuinely wants my friendship but I would never be able to do it. As a side note, he’s a hoarder, is pretty messed up emotionally (even more so after his father died) and even admitted that he hasn’t washed dishes or clothes in the two weeks since he’s been home so he clearly has depression. He sleeps all day on the weekends and doesn’t seem motivated to do anything. To my knowledge he isn’t being treated for any illnesses and has never come out and said there’s anything wrong with him, he has told me the other things and even that he has rats. I on the other hand am an A-list girl and can get anyone I want but now I can’t stop crying because HE’S all I want. My question is do you think it’s worth persevering, doing NC then reintroducing myself in a non friend way and seeing if he responds or is it a waste of time after he’s said he can’t see us back together?
Hi guys, great article. How about if this is not a rebound? My ex and I broke up two years ago, I left him. For over a year he tried to get me back, but we fought because he always did it while dating other women. We both cried a lot during this time, and in January I asked him to go no contact. He then started dating this woman and February! And have been together since. That’s 8 months now, and, after not seeing him for 7 months, I found them at a park where we had released a memorial for a baby with lost. It was a huge surprise to see him there. We started emailing again, and earlier in October he asked me to do grief therapy with him. It seemed very strange to do it almost 2 years after the breakup. We have had three sessions, to have been incredibly emotional, with crying from both of us, with his long-term therapist. But it seems to be couples therapy more than grief. And afterwards, he always wants to have a couple drinks and talk some more. During this times he just stares at me and cries more. I asked him if he loves his new girlfriend, to which he said he does and looks down to the floor when he mentions it however, he writes and tells me that things are not the same, and that there are very specific things he’s missing about us. And he wonders if he will ever be able to love like that again. I know the new girlfriend is a very powerful woman, and Rich, and everything in her CV is what he had professionally longed-for. I don’t know how to bridge my emerging feelings, and have requested to stop therapy. I know they fight because she doesn’t agree with the therapy, obviously, but, he really wants to continue doing it. He also says that he loves me still. I don’t think she’s a rebound. Is she? And, what can I do to turn this around? Thank you for all your help!
I was a ding dong one night. I had taken my sleeping pills and gone to bed. These are doctor prescribed and I typically would go to bed maybe hit the phone for a text to whoever but I wasn’t driving anywhere. A couple times I would drift into a dream while actively talking to somebody so they would say. I don’t remember though. One night in particular we had a disagreement about something and I went to bed. I got woken up but not fully. During this I messaged mean stuff about my now ex to her kids father.… Read more »
Another loss inherent in a break-up of a loving connection is the loss of our future with that person. When a relationship ends, our dream to build a life together dies. Thus, our memories of the lost lover are often suffused with regrets, dreams, and fantasies about what could have become of us.
If you listen to your heart, all you will hear is that you love your ex and you want them back. Instead, try to think with your mind. Be logical. Analyze the pros and cons of your relationship. Analyze the pros and cons of your ex. Analyze what your goals in life are and whether or not a relationship with your ex aligns with those goals.(Read: Should You Get Your Ex Back?)
Now this is where you may seriously start questioning my tips. But hold on. You want to get him back and you have been working on yourself to do just that! But haven’t you, even in a teensy tiny moment during your journey of self-discovery, realized that it may not be all about ‘him?’ So, drop the act. You have found ‘YOU.’ Revel in YOU. If he has been having the same thoughts as you and wondering if it was a huge mistake and that things could really work out, an encounter will, well, be on its way!
The grand finale and what I think is THE most important thing in getting over your ex. I’ve written about this several times before, and even started a revolution with my BFF on the topic of self love.
It was just a mask. Beware, as if you both go back to your old ways of arguing and dealing with problems, you’ll get back to where you were – apart. Don’t let that happen. Don’t get lazy and don’t take things for granted. The first few weeks of being together again as also the first few weeks where he’s most likely to “run for his life” and leave you or just decide that you shouldn’t have gotten back together in the first place.
Focus on finding happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family or signing up for that class you’ve always wanted to take, try new adventures. Do things that you couldn’t do while you were in the relationship.
Well..he replied on the second day that he is sorry he could not text earlier as he is busy with his two jobs and driving school. He also asked how I am. Well I waited over an hour to reply that it is okay if he could not reply earlier and I am doing fine. I also commented about his driving school that it is great and also mentioned that I have also thought about going to one.