Once things have settled, it never hurts to try and truly understand why your boyfriend left you. Because if you don’t know, it will be difficult for you to fix the problem. And I assure you, there was a problem.
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
Every time you start obsessing about your ex, stop, ground yourself in the present by feeling your feet on the ground, listen to your breathing, be aware of the sights, smells and sounds around you. Start off doing this for 30 seconds and gradually build up the amount of time you can do this. You will start feeling more in control of your life, when you can take control of your thoughts.
By all means, go ahead and talk to him and reply to him at will. Just don’t do it in haste and don’t you be the one taking the initiative. Trust me. When you are taking this time to yourself and clearing your head, he will be thinking about you the entire time. The longer you hold out, the more it will drive him crazy and the more likely it’s going to be for him to be blowing up your phone rather than vice versa. When you are taking this step back, it’s going to signal to him that maybe you’re okay without him after all, and that thought alone will drive him crazy.
Situation 3- He left you for another girl. He was either cheating or was in love with someone else. Ladies, I am going to be completely honest here, this guy is not someone that you should want to get back with. Sure, you can try to get him back but he needs to prove to you that he is trustworthy.
I have been a faithful fan of yours over 3years now and i must admit that your team has been a source of inspiration and help to me. Sabrina has been awesome. Thank you. My case is simple. I have always wanted to marry a white guy right from my childhood though I am a black lady. When I grew older after high school? I worked in a company where they have lots of whites. But I didn’t get to hook up with one because I had to go to college. I’m in my final year. I will be graduating next year and hope to get scholarship to study abroad. I am 23years old. if anyone can hook me up with some white friends I would be grateful. or simply just recommend me to someone. Thanks a lot.
I begged and pleaded with my ex to not let me go the day he broke up with me. Even told him I couldn’t live without him. W-T-F!!!!!! But when I finally got in my car to leave (for the second time), I was in shock (disgust, humiliated, sick…) that I could have done that. To give you perspective on why I was in shock: during the breakup he said, and I quote, “It was your actions that led us to this.” “YOU ARE HERE TO HELP ME! AND I HAVE TWO KIDS!” (Adult kids mind you. This was responding to the fact that I stopped being their f-ING maid). “You don’t even take very good care of your dogs.” All of these things were said with the, all too familiar, condescending, disgusted, nasty look on his face, twisting words and making everything my fault. Oh, there were a lot more comments like that during our breakup (and consistent throughout our relationship) but those have stayed with me the most.
Once you’re set and committed and know you want him back and that he truly deserves you back, and both of your lives are much more enriched because of the relationship, then there is nothing at all that should hold you back. You really, really, really can win him back no matter how bad things might seem.
All of the crying, Instagram stalking, begging, analyzing, gossiping, playing detective, pleading and bargaining will get you nowhere and the pity and empathy that you are after will never happen. It turns men off, WAAYYYY off to know that you have such little confidence and such a minuscule life that you’re obsessed with their every move and obsessed with losing them. Men want to feel wanted, not psychotically needed. Beating yourself up is not going to help you either. Are you listening? Either make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past or wake the hell up and give this emotionally unavailable f*cktard a run for his money.
When I was going through my own relationship troubles, I decided to search for some further advice. I learned a lot and that’s why I decided to set up my how to get your ex boyfriend back blog. So that I could help other girls out who are looking to get their guy back.
There are root circumstances that all situations fit into and I go through each of those situations in detail and show you exactly what to do to get him back, including but not limited to short term, long distance, and long term relationships.
Talk. Since communication problems are the number one cause of breakups, you need to work extra hard as a couple to ensure that you always keep lines of communication open. When you get back together, you need to take time to establish expectations, especially in areas that were problems before.
J and I were together for a little over 4 years and for about the last year of the relationship things got really rough. We went off to separate colleges but didn’t think it would be a problem since we had went to different high schools and lived about an hour from each other anyway. The summer before we moved to college J started acting different, like a real ass, and the week before I moved in to school he broke up with me. I convinced him to still help me move in so I didn’t have to explain to my parents. That night, after I moved in, he begged me to come back home so we could talk so I did. We ended up crying and saying how much we didn’t want to lose each other and got back together. About a week after I had been in school I got this gut feeling and so I checked his social media messages (we had each other’s passwords, it was fair game). Sure enough my gut was right. There were messages from many girls from his college, asking for his number, him inviting them over, back massages, all the typical. One girl (we’ll call her C) he seemed really interested in. But I didn’t overreact I just simply asked him if he’d been talking to any girls, inviting them up, any of that. His response was no. I asked him three times. He said no every time. So I sent him the screenshots, apologized for getting on his stuff, and said you lied to me we are done. That was late August 2013. He started begging pleading apologizing and I would see him some but then a guy from my school, that I was really attracted to, came into the picture. I started hanging out with him a lot, we kissed, nothing more (we’ll call him V). I really liked him but he started talking bad about J and bashing my lifestyle, kinda made me mad. I had told J I had kissed him and really liked him. Then J’s grandpa got really sick. I knew I had to be there for him. Finally after going round n round we got back together at the beginning of November 2013. I didn’t fall in love with him again until the end of January. V was still persistent and we talked a lot. However, J won me back and I fell all over again. School started back late January and things started going down hill again. Me and V started talking some again and J started being a butt. Then it happened. Early February I found out I was pregnant…me and J were devastated, terrified. It’s all we ever wanted but we knew we couldn’t do it. We made the executive decision to abort it. Two days before I was to terminate my pregnancy I got a call from J asking if I could come get him, he had “locked his keys in his truck”. I said I’d meet him half way but I was too sick (from the pregnancy) and very tired and couldn’t make that drive. He agreed. So I went to get him and took him home. Two days later I made the most regretful decision of my life (I hate myself for it) to terminate my pregnancy. At first things were hard. But we got better, him and I. Then on spring break, I was playing games on his phone and checked his messages. He had a texts from C, the girl he was interested at the begging of the year. The text read: from him: where’s my pants? Lol from her: I don’t know haha. I WAS LIVID. Thinking the obvious, obviously. Then I put two and two together. I checked the date on the messages and sure enough they were from the night his keys supposedly got locked in his truck. The truth was they had actually been thrown away with his pants with the girl he was interested in. I didn’t break up with him though because of everything that had happened and his grandpa was still really sick. We got better, celebrated a great birthday together (only a day apart), and things were looking up. I was in love with him. He was in love with me. We grew close again. Then V started wiggling his way back in. We texted casually, quite often though. J got mad. I wasn’t meaning to hurt him but idk, I guess my thought was look how much you’ve hurt me I can at least talk to him, immature I know. In early June we lost J’s grandpa. It was devastating. He was so broken, it hurt to see him hurt. It brought us close again. We had a wonderful family vacation at the lake, gosh I loved him. Then when school started back things got bad again. We fought a lot. We broke up again, I started hanging out with V, kissed, nothing more. I kinda stopped trusting J. We got back together, the last date we went on was mid October 2015. We fought at first but ending up having a wonderful time and that’s when I decided I was going to move close to him and be with him and we were going to get right. Not too long after that though, he broke up with me. It made me mad. He kinda begged for me back, we fought, said a lot of mean things to each other, it got really really bad. He told me he wanted me. Finally i softened up and three days after that I agree. However he tells me it’s too late. 3 DAYS! So I begged, pleaded, cried, apologized, stalked, hacked. Name everything not to do to get your ex back and I did it. He claimed his new girl was better than me and he wasn’t happy and didn’t love me and didn’t care. I heard it all. He was so mean. (This started January 2015). I still begged, cried, called. He started blocking me. (End of feb) After the second time he blocked me I got mad and left him alone..for 10 days. During that time he called and facetimed but never text. I Finally answered him late one night and he was crying. Saying how much he love loved me, how sorry he was, asking if I changed, all that. He then text me that night and said “you’re the only one I’ve been with. I’m tired of f***ing it up with us. I want to f*** it up with everyone else then hope you will love me again one day.” So I begged and pleaded some more. By the time spring break came around I had given up. Then of course he contacted me again. Trying to apologize. He got mad because I thought I didn’t tell him happy birthday but I did, he just didn’t get it. 2 weeks later he tried to contact me asking if I was going to a certain concert and who I was going with. He even logged on to my Instagram, made it public, and added himself back then messaged me so I would talk to him, deleted the conversation when we finished. This was mid April and I was thoroughly confused because he’s told me to move on, he’s moved on, he loves her, he doesn’t hurt anymore, to leave him alone. So I was trying to do that. He contacted me again on facebook at the end of April 2015 trying to convince me we were not meant to be together, of course I didn’t agree, we messages back and forth some then he stopped talking. I just left it alone. That was a Tuesday, the following saturday I got a friend request from him on facebook and realized that after our conversation he had deleted me as a friend. Every time we had a conversation on social media and he didn’t agree with what I had to say he deleted me so at this point I had changed my number and blocked him on everything but facebook. But after I realized he deleted me I blocked him on there too. Ok, so now it’s about a month since that happened. His girlfriend is all about him. I went to his little cousin’s baseball game this past Monday and his family was there but he was not. His aunt cried as did I when I had to leave. That night I text his mom just to see how school and everything went for him. Then he text my mom asking her to have me text him. I didn’t. Then he tried to turn it around that it was my fault. He said he tried to talk to me and would talk every time I wanted to but now I had him blocked on everything. Saying how he had been hurt too and all of that jazz. I still haven’t gotten ahold of him. If he’s moved on like he said why won’t he just let me be? I want to make amends with him because I realize all the hurt I caused. I know what to do better now, I just need to know if there’s a chance to get him back. There’s been a lot of damage but I honestly can forgive it all because I love him. He’s very stubborn and he’s saying never again. Someone please give me some advice on what to do. I want him back and a better us, I’m ready to grow up and get passed all this stupidity but
it’s hard when he is being so stubborn. I need some coaching on what to do, is there any hope? He still told me he loved me on spring break, and always would, he just thinks we were no good and all I see is the good. HELP PLEASE, I know it’s messed up, but it can be better, I just need him to see that. I love him, I miss him, and I want to make us right. We used to be so good but distance, school, and stress got in the way.
Step 5 – Set up an in-person meeting. This is where you put it all together… get him alone for 30 minutes for coffee or a drink. The main goal is to FLIRT, and build sexual attraction so that he associates those emotions and romantic feelings with you. No drama in this first meeting, and no talk about the breakup or your future… just have fun and flirt. Seduce him again! Build sexual tension and show your ex boyfriend the “new you”.
When a girl stops feeling attracted to her boyfriend (or husband), the relationship goes stale for her, and if she has any dating market value left (i.e. if she’s still hot enough to draw in a decent new guy) then she will dump the boyfriend and sooner or later she’ll go get a new guy (one who she DOES feel attraction for).
Few months ago I asked him tell me truth and I’ll walk away from you life , but he said I don’t have an answer and if I’ll deal my life’s troubles I’ll come to you to marry , but now live your life …etc, then he was keeping in touch sometimes , and now just silence from him. I gave up and don’t bothering him anymore too, I’m trying NC , also I disappeared from all my social nets, but I think it will useless in my case, he can’t solve his difficulties
Well.. I had only two shifts with him this week. Wednesday went well so far but Thursday was a disaster… There is another girl working at the grocery store as well. I know her and I know they have known each other longer time. On Thursday I saw how she got more attention and I noticed that their chemistry is so different. I felt so bad on Thursday. When he came to work, he went directly to her to talk about something and totally ignored me.. didn’t even say hello. I don’t know why on Wednesday things looked so good. Or is it my head that make things look worse than it is. But I know he was hanging all day with her after work on Wednesday (I have heard that they have spend a lot of free time together) . I have a feeling I can’t get him back… I just can’t. She is more prettier. Thursday was so awkward. I still have 6 shifts together with him. Next week only on Monday and Saturday.
All of this makes sense, but for me the question of the day is: how does being happy and “on the market” help if he’s not in the right place to be in a relationship because he’s not “winning” at life?
We’re not exactly thrilled that Rihanna and Chris Brown are reportedly dating again (give us your take below), but we’ve got to admit: They both pressed hard to be together again. If you’re looking to reunite with an ex, follow our six-step plan for a second chance at romance.
Me(23)and my ex boyfriend(28)dated for seven months. I Love him and I knew he loved me too. He has even introduced me to his family on two occasions and also told me he sees me as his wife.Recently we were talking deeply and I told him I noticed he hides his feelings a lot from me and he admitted it. The next day he texted me and told me we weren’t meant to be, that our relationship was moving too fast,that he wanted us to break up. I didn’t text him that day he sent me the cowardly text because I was in shock . But on the evening of the next day I texted him back and told him that he should stop lying to himself, that he has insecurity issues, which was not a lie and that was why he was breaking the relationship. Then I blocked him on Facebook, and I had deleted his number but I had to send him a final text so I sent a request, he accepted it and I told him that he doesn’t appreciate himself, which isn’t a lie because he kinda have a low self esteem sometimes, and that’s why he doesn’t appreciate me and doesn’t appreciate our relationship. I also told him that he needs to go and see a therapist. He hasn’t replied me and I haven’t text or called him after that. I don’t know what to do now.
he broke up with me and blocked me after saying to me lets stay friends i didnt agree on friends plus we didnt have a fight he just broke up with me, after 3 weeks i texted him asking about him and he responded and i closed the convo,
Hi, we were dating for 6 weeks, lots of txting a few really amazing dates, massive mutual attraction, I was falling hard, and then I was becoming stressed over some things in my personal life, which he didn’t know about. In the last 2 weeks he wasn’t txting as frequently, which because i was stressed about other things I questioned him why, he kept telling me everything was fine and to relax. I continued to over text and then he stopped responding altogether… I txted 2 days ago and told him that I’m going through some things and that I’ll try txting him back in a few weeks and said that I hope he responds.. and now I’m so upset all I want to do is call him.. what should I do???
I am currently involved with an ex boyfriend of mine, it was about 16 years between relationships, but we have always remained good friends. We both know why the first relationship did not work and are committed to the current one. We’ve been together for about a year now, and I’m still getting to know the man that is he is now compared with my happy go lucky friend from back then.
So make sure you want him back for all the right reasons, and not because you’re hurt and you bruised your ego. Because if this is all ego, you will realize in the end that you don’t really want him back to you.
Should I really be doing no contact for a whole 30 days at this point… Since I feel like we already had many no contact periods… or would it be wiser to try and speak to him again before he gets even closer to this girl and lose him for ever….??