Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this group! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I’ve seen posts online of them together and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and flirting together. We have only contacted each other in regards to the apartment logistics. I want to try couples therapy but think it may be too late if he’s moved on. I am actively working on myself and spending time with family, friends, looking for new work, apartments, and hobbies. I feel excited to be moving forward and just want to do the same with him. Should I reach out after no contact period and try to do therapy? Thanks!
What a GREAT article! You are so incredibly right! Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for almost 7 years and then broke up because we weren’t making each other happy anymore. We have survived so many things together though: I have been anorexic for a long period of time, which he helped me pull through; we had a long distance-relationship for almost 2 years because I was loving in China, which we survived, I had a sport-addiction after my anorexia, which we also pulled througj together (don’t get me wrong, it was everything but pretty – it was a very rocky road) and we survived a history of cheating, where he cheated on me when I was living in China because he couldn’t deal with an anorexic-living-on-the-other-side-of-the-globe girlfriend anymore (which I kind of get). Anyways, we’ve been through so much but we never stopped loving eachother and we’ve had an incredibly passionate relationship, probably because it was such a rocky road. We had an incredible physical and emotional connection but once real life started (9 to 5 job, looking for a house, starting to take life seriously) we fell apart. We both realised we were stuck in a life we didn’t want. He needed freedom which I had trouble giving him because of the fear that I would lose him again (cheating). I felt that he was unhappy and whenever he would go out and party, I was afraid that history would repeat itself and he would leave me. The more I stressed out about this, the more freedom he would demand, up to the point that we would end up in huge fights, screaming and crying. I feel like I’ve gone through an amazing growth, so I’m grateful that it happened but I do miss him. It’s been 6 months now since we broke up and I still feel like he’s me soulmate. I have taken the initiative multiple times to cut contact and he always ends up being the one contacting me to tell me how much he thinks about me and misses me, how he feels like he’s just working towards us getting back together, dreaming about marrying one day and having a baby girl but still he doesn’t want to get back together now because he doesn’t want to rush things and fall back in to something without being 100% sure this time that it is what he really wants, a 100% sure that it will work this time around. Which I get, because we broke up exactly because we both needed to figure out what we want from life independently, without having one clouding the judgement of the other. It’s hard because I’m so afraid I will lose him in the process but I guess that I just need to have faith in the saying that “if it is meant to be, it’ll happen”. Up until that time, I need to let go and focus on myself. Which is why I’m going to write down the questioms you mention in the article and read them to myself every day, to figure out what I really want. Do I want to get back together with someone who has that big a need of being free (going out a much as he wants, going on holidays by himself, …). Can I fully trust him again? And then there is then issue of his family, who he is really close to, who (I think) think I’m not good for him – anorexia/ long-distance/ rocky relationship. Do I want to have to deal with that again? This article is the first one that really made me think. Not in terms of “how do I get him back” but in terms of “what do I need and want”. Thank you so SO much! You’re an inspiration ?
Make sure you love yourself … like really love yourself. Do a self-esteem check-in and ask yourself these questions: Do you feel good about yourself? Do you feel good about your life? Are you happy overall?
Hi Maj!! Thank you!! I like you too ? I have too much to say to type it all out, but if it’s an emotionally unavailable and/or narcissistic person that you’re referring to, they will be the same way that they were before and control will be the priority. BIG love and hugs to you! xo
You have to think with a positive mind. sometimes in order to get over someone you have to just let go…I personally am a very attached person and I find it hard to let people go but sometimes you just have to give up and move on…try take your mind off things by going out with friends or doing something you enjoy like a sport or a hobby
Text messages are great for building attraction with your ex. They are short, they are personal and you can be sure your ex will read your texts. If used correctly, you can condition your ex to light up in excitement whenever they see a message from you. (Read this more detailed article on getting your ex back with text messages.)
Now this might sound like the world’s greatest case of stating the obvious but allowing yourself to grieve is a big step. If that means having a screaming fit or just crying until you physically can’t cry anymore then that’s exactly what you need to do. Suppressing emotions in an effort to appear strong might seem like a good idea but ultimately those negative emotions will fester inside you and come back to haunt you in later relationships.
You have to make sure your ex boyfriend to start contact with you – but keep a balance. It is important to don’t avoid or ignore your ex boyfriend as these are ill feelings. Always try to look cheerful as you came out of breakup and enjoying your life. Allow your ex boyfriend to leave the conversation and let him do most of the work while conversing with you. Think about living with a female roommate.
Another way of looking at it is, you might want to be more like the person he fell for in the first place, than the person he ultimately broke up with … IF you also agree that those qualities are good ones for you to have.
Treat your body to an exercise session and boost those endorphins. Whether your exercise choice is a run, yoga or a Pilates session, work out regularly. If those thoughts of your ex-boyfriend intrude at night, that exercise session will wear you out, making it easier to sleep, Cosmopolitan says.
Well, don’t get too excited. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything—he might just be experiencing a moment of weakness. Next, don’t invest in it too much. Don’t assume this means he’s seen the light and you’re going to get back together. Basically, don’t forget about all the important stuff I discussed earlier in this article!
In this guide we initially take a look on some primary reasons about why your relationship comes to an end. It is like solving jig-saw puzzle in the dark without knowing these reasons. Then we move forward and take a look on how you can prepare yourself to regain the attraction that you lost and finally I reveal step by step plan that will help you in getting you ex back by using your phone that is lying in your pocket or somewhere in the corner of the table.
Answer: It is possible to use texts to win back the love and affection of your ex man. Texts, when done the right way, can convey exactly what you need to convey without giving off any negative signs that could unintentionally happen with a face to face or phone call.
If he met her during your relationship then she’s more of a grass is greener..you can still try the advice above and see if it will work.. Of ot doesn’t, then at least you did the right way of trying to get him back before moving on
Focus On Work – Is there any area in your career that need little bit extra work? Are you spending less time in your business or work? Use this time to improve your career and try to accomplish goals.
basically almost every breakup advice are all the same. and it is clearly not easy for someone to just do the device. In my opinion you should talk to the expert. at least you can talk about your problem and make you feel lighter. Im having a hard time forgetting about my ex and clearly not easy at all. I wish for the best to happen for you.
He said later on that maybe we could be together in a couple of years when we’ve both had our time apart and if we were both single and there’s still a spark. But we also talked about the social media situation, if we should delete eachother or not and he said that we both might end up dating other people and probably don’t want to see it on our socials. Only today did I realise that didn’t make much sense because he just said that he wanted to be alone for a while and enjoy his young adult years.