It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact and given my ex space, a task someone difficult because we work together. I never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me and will barely reply to text messages. Typically she’ll reply to the initial message, but getting a second reply doesn’t happen much. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
Find out if applying certain solutions on how to get your ex-boyfriend back is indeed the right thing to do. You don’t want to risk your time and effort to a relationship that’s still bound to fail, do you?
The last of the things you want to do in such occasion is to become hasty and nervous. Do not let the fear of losing your boyfriend overcome you. Just keep calm and cool. Shake hands well enough to let her know that you were never ever in close touch with the man.
When I turned 24 something really interesting happened to my overall mindset about dating. Most kids my age were content to date around and have fun. However, that idea never appealed to me too much. I am the type of person who puts his all into his relationships and putting the work in and constantly dating a ton of women can get a little boring.
Great article! This guy I have been talking to online and I were in a long distant relationship. We met up every 2-3 months over the past year and talked every day. Recently communication started slowing down and I was getting insecure, we had a huge argument because I accused him of using an online dating site. He was upset I didn’t believe him and we exchanged harsh words via text but he refused to talk about it over the phone. After we ended it in the heat of the argument, he would message me about what travel insurance we used so I could get reimbursed for the trip we were about to go on to see eachother. I would answer calmly… Then the next day he would message about the other trip he booked for my birthday asking which site he used (I’m assuming so he could cancel). I then broke down and said please do not message anymore unless you want to work on us because it hurts me to think we won’t see eachother ever again. I tried initiating the no contact rule… But I broke down and said I still miss you handsome then asked him a question about something else random not the relationship. He ignored both and I asked why he was ignoring me and he said because he was busy at work. Which makes sense! Then recently we spoke when I was at a girls weekend and he said “Do you miss me?” I took this as he was trying to string me along and made a sassy response back…then I was upset and started going off on hurt I was… He ignored all those texts and the next day I started a different convo not about our relationship which he didn’t ignore then I ended it with how I love him and I do miss him and I’m sorry he said “Give me time and I might forgive you”. So I left it at that… But I am confused does that mean he just wants me to move on? He isn’t cutting off communication and usually when he ignores me is when I keep talking about us and ending and the argument.
If you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend or even if it has been a while since the two of you parted and you desperately want to get his attention again and wishing that he missed you half as much as you would like to think that he does, or maybe even as much as you miss him, then the chances are, you don’t just want to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, you are looking for a way to establish and nurture a deep connection with him and get him back into your life.
If, for example, you cheated on him, I must say to you now, you have small chances of getting him back. He is hurt and things will probably never be the same. So, maybe the best thing you can do is move one and leave him alone.
It would depend on your knowledge regarding what she seeks for in life. If the financial security it something more important to her, then you might want to consider walking away as it will be hard to compete with her boss on this aspect. If you know that she may be going through a tough time, and merely needs momentary financial support desperately that you cannot provide, then you could consider a second shot if given the chance. However, do bear in mind that she walked away from you once already, and if you get back with her, she may do the same again if ever she needs something you cannot provide.
In regards to #3 above, sleeping with my ex-booty call only reminded me I wasn’t over my ex-booty call (I’ve told you before how I managed to care about him more than I should have over the year and a half we were together).
Acting cold or indifferent is all part of the break up, and if your boyfriend is exhibiting these behaviors it’s perfectly normal. During this phase of the breakup however, you can’t just sit around and do nothing.
Be clear about how you want your relationship to be this time around. Then behave and act in ways that support your vision and make you feel good about yourself. Let things unfold naturally and stay open to the outcome.
I waited until the next day and I replied “hey. What’s up?” But he never responded. The next day the SoCal fires started and I texted him a short “hope you and your kids are safe” again, I never got a reply and I haven’t texted him since figuring that if I’m patient, he will eventually reply. Did I break any protocols? I figured since I’ve been doing NC for a little over a year, it was safe to respond to him since he initiated the texting. Is he just playing with me? He didn’t have to text me when my friend gave him my phone number, so what is his logic? He is a grown man with teenage kids so it’s not like he is an immature guy, though he is acting like one with me.
I googled this and found zero! My ex-husband continues to reach out to befriend by ex-boyfriends. I know it has no impact on my life, but me and my children find it to be very odd, especially because when I was dating my boyfriend(s), he talked bad about them. ?? Someone please explain…
I didn’t care, though; I lived on 12th Street and he lived on St. Marks and a few days a week, I would just “happen” to stroll by his apartment in my most flattering jeans and blue eyeliner and green boots and blow-dried bangs hoping to bump into him. Alas, though, our “meeting” never seemed to happen, and aside from some fooling around here and there, he remained a distant mystery.
I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.
Thanks. We did text yesterday he said he had a crazy week because his dog was stolen. I’m not sure how often we should text at this point in time? Obviously I want to rebuild connection, it’s a little hard because he isn’t much of a texter. What should I talk about to rebuild connection?
If he was the one who finished things with you, then it is highly likely that he feels that he needs some space. Allowing him to have it and let the dust settle can help to change his perspective in time. A good rule of thumb is to avoid contact in any way for around thirty days.
My bf broke up with me 1 week and a day ago and I miss him a lot and idk if he still loves me because last year he LOVED me we dated an entire summer then he broke up with me and I want to know why but we never even talk at ALL any more I need help with this problem give me some advice pls
What you are trying to do here is bring a similarity to light by asking a simple question. Now, in this example we are going to assume that your ex boyfriend is really big into telescopes and stuff like that. Hence, the reason I composed a text about a super moon.
Treat your body to an exercise session and boost those endorphins. Whether your exercise choice is a run, yoga or a Pilates session, work out regularly. If those thoughts of your ex-boyfriend intrude at night, that exercise session will wear you out, making it easier to sleep, Cosmopolitan says.
AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends) or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
The truth is, you broke up for valid reasons. If he mentions those reasons, don’t dispute them. Have the courage to hear the truth in what he’s saying, acknowledge it and apologize for it. It’s better to be happy and loved than to be right about everything.
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However, the good news is that there really are things you can do to speed the mending of your broken heart and make it a little less painful in the meantime. While science can certainly offer some insight into the best ways to recover from a breakup (and we will get into that), when it comes to mysteries of the heart, it can be useful to cast a wide net. In that vein, we spoke with every expert we could think of, from a neuroscientist to a meditation guru, to get actionable advice every heartbroken person needs to hear.