In such situations, you have to keep your contact with your ex-girlfriend at very minimum. If you are living together, make sure you spend a lot of time with your friends. However, don’t bring any woman into the house to make your ex girlfriend jealous. Your ex-girlfriend will also bring a new guy at home, and it will hurt you only.
The first and most important step in texting your ex is to maybe not do it at all. Are you drunk? Are you sad? Do you just want attention? Are you trying to make someone else jealous? Most importantly, is there someone else you can contact about this issue other than your ex? Maybe an old mutual friend?
I decided to chime in here quickly, according to Kris S the girl did not really “cheat” on him but rather “messed” with fellow guy he didn’t like, AFTER the break-up. That act he considered unloyal and therefore he’s feeling not respected. In this case, I would consider this as a rebound relationship in order to get over the relationship with you, Kris S, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Eventually she’s free to do what she wants apfter the break-up and it has nothing to do with you but with her.
Thanks! I’m not sure whether is she still missing me now. I realise she might be seeing someone now who is actually her Friend for few years. I just recently make a Christmas card and mail it to her house. The card that I write doesn’t show any needy words like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I still love’. It’s just purely a simple Christmas wish for her. Will you please advise me that am I doing the right thing? Thanks!
Chris… I know it hurts bro, but you can only engage her in future conversations from a place of strength. Weakness is always an attraction sniper. Take the hit, take the loss, take the pain and move on to a better you! Join a gym, go learn Krav Maga, work more hours. The point is to build yourself up to be something you are proud of. Maybe she will come back, maybe not. I promise you that it will be OK. You will be OK with or without her because you are will gain more value. Always put yourself first, Alpha.
If you do succeed in getting back together, don’t dwell on past wrongs or spend time blaming each other for what went wrong. Instead, focus on discussing what each of you needs from the relationship and discuss how to help each other get it. Focus on what you want moving forward rather than on what you did or didn’t do in the past. For example, you might explain, “I felt like you got annoyed with me when I went out with my friends, and I think it might have been because I didn’t let you know about my plans far enough in advance. Is that right?” Then suggest ways of resolving the problem going forward, like agreeing to give at least 5 hours notice before going out on weeknights, etc.
He doesn’t want to talk much about the breakup or the reasons, he’s never been one to open up and share his feelings, but he says there’s no going back from what happened. Yet, when I ask him if he sees a possibility of us working out in the long term, he says yes. I can’t tell if he means that or is just saying it, but what should I do to get him back in the long term? I have already broken the rule of trying to convince him and have tried remaining in contact with him, but I am going to stop contacting him completely now.
You will need to begin by sorting your thoughts out. Even if there’s a chance, some distance is first required before re-initiating contact with your ex. Distance does not mean time frame of the breakup but rather, the amount of contact made during the particular time frame, and the changes you’ve made to impress her. Right now, she needs to deal with the emotional trauma of losing a child. She is pushing you away probably because you are unable to provide the emotional support she requires, and by constantly pestering her, you lower your own chances because she will eventually lose respect and feelings for you. I would still recommend no contact first, and to figure out where you need to grow as a person, before thinking about winning her back.
For the first 2 years plus in our relationship, empty/unfulfilled promises from me, misbehaving, overspending, lack of proper planning, spending too much time/money on games and infidelity caused our first 2 breakups.
In terms of romantic relationships, there is a chance that you confused your want – someone who is fun and has lots of money – with your needs – someone who is nurturing, loving, understanding, and supportive financially and emotionally.
In our last lesson we discussed how to overcome the unattractive, irrational thoughts that have us dwelling in negativity and self-pity. A lot of those irrational thoughts can be overcome just by realizing that you don’t really need your ex as much as you think.
There are so many ways to contact a person these days, it’s almost ridiculous. You can call them, text them, facebook them, tweet them, and so much other stuff. And this comfortable technology leads to one of the worst mistakes people make after a breakup, texting their ex all the time (sometimes hundreds to thousands of texts a day).
Why is this the easiest? Well it’s not as hard as other circumstances, like for instance getting a girl back from another guy. You only broke up due to distance, meaning that the attraction she feels for you is still present. In fact it might even have increased, since women get off on desiring what they can’t have (you). Even if it seems impossible, it can be done.