I recommend you to tell her that breakup was the best thing, but you realize it would be such a shame to throw away such a great friendship like this. It is important to keep a good vibe of old friends in your conversation.
I believe that getting your ex back back whether a girlfriend or a boyfriend is really not a difficult part. Difficult part will be to keep them. That’s because they left you once, and what do you think will stop them from leaving you again even if they come back in your life? What’s the point of getting your ex back if you can’t keep them FORVEVER.
Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention last night after a stressful week I had some anxiety and said some insecure things to her while we were talking. Stuff along the line of “you were my best friend” and “second chance” were mentioned. I realized my mistake changed the subject almost immediately and continued to have a good conversation, but it was a moment of weakness nonetheless. Do I just continue on as normal?
You have to figure out whether his intentions are out of concern as a friend, or he actually likes you still, or just wants the benefits (hookup). Regardless, it would best for you to give him some space, considering you don’t know what his intentions are, and he may not know either. Apply the No Contact Rule and focus on yourself in the meantime. If he likes you, he will come back.
In these situations, it’s impossible to not want to try again, and I forgive you in advance for doing what all the movies and TV shows tell us not to — and for trying to get back with your ex. So here are some tips for not screwing it up too bad.
Ideally no. You want them to wonder what happened to you and why you are not contacting them. You want to be on your ex’s mind as much as you can. And telling them you are not contacting for some time will defeat this purpose.
But I’d go over the memory of her in my mind — her maraschino cherry hair, her septum ring, the shiny stud in the side of her nose, the big black plugs in her ears — and worry that someone as edgy as she was would never go for a nerdy, plain woman like me. I settled for just being friends.
You are right, the respect thing in the relationship is a big issue and you should have a serious but calm discussion about it with her, in fact you both should let one another know what is important in order to make this new relationship a happy success for both of you. You don’t wanna run into the same mess as before.
Before approaching your ex, you first need to sit down with yourself and soberly and honestly consider why the relationship ended and whether your motives for getting back together are genuine or merely reactionary.
Peter arranged to meet his wife for coffee. He brought with him his list of all the old habits that he now understood had been problematic in the old relationship. He also listed the new habit patterns he was building to replace the old ones.
In our therapy sessions Peter recalled that in his family expressions of anger were not allowed. As a young boy with no one who would listen when he felt negative feelings, Peter often felt abandoned.
But after beating the odds and getting a girl back without fail on many occasions — and after having had over 1,200 personal consultations with men whom I’ve helped to get their ex-girlfriends back — I’ve discovered that there are only 5 effective approaches to successfully getting a girl back.
Make sure she wants you back. Once you feel like you’ve grabbed her attention and have even made her a little jealous, it’s time to check in to make sure that she really wants you back before you tell her how you really feel. Though you don’t have to know how she feels with 100% certainty, the more sure you are that she wants you back, the less likely you’ll be to embarrass yourself. Here are some signs that she wants you back:
Dude… be chill. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out (prepaid). But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Start working out…. like wayyy harder than you normally do. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. It’s amazing how much similar your story is to mine. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It’s amazing how much a little time away will make things much more manageable with your emotions. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Don’t go all Rambo gotta come back now guy. Just be polite and reasonable. Don’t have any thing set that should happen. Read her. If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. If not… say something chill… like “well… I just want you to know that I had fun while it lasted. Take care and I’ll see you around.” And walk the fuk away.
The No Contact Rule- No texting, talking or stalking your ex for a full month. That is 30 days of essentially cutting your man out of your life. Remember, don’t dig into his life and don’t Google + or Facebook him.
In most cases, being in a serious relationship may also cause more severe negative feelings and emotions once the break-up takes place. Those who are co-habiting or got married tend to have the most painful and troublesome break-ups while those who just dated casually will most likely find it easy to move on. However, your severe feelings should not automatically be the sole reason for you to try bringing her back to your life.
And unlike other books and courses that provide advice on using persuasion, tricks, games, and manipulation tactics that are ineffective, this course offers counter-intuitive psychological strategies for getting your ex-girlfriend back – strategies that have been proven effective through personal experience as well as over 1,200 personal consultations with men.
Now, the texting rules as mentioned in the video I linked you to, will do a lot of the work to make her WANT to hang out, and as soon as she WANTS to hang out, then arranging to meet should be very easy. I’ll talk you through what to say to set up a meet with her regardless, though.
Oh man no doubt … ahah I tend to over think and come to think of it, I probably never saw both sides of her … maybe the whole fact that she is European got me going but since I’m going back , I’ll find another ! thanks brother I just needed to hear it from a seasoned professional ! Its just that I feel like a liar .. so to speak .. because I tried so hard, how could I just get over it that quickly ? Do you see where I’m coming from?
Tactic 4 is very similar to tactic 3. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Here is a great example of an appreciation text:
Once you finish writing, now you should find a private and quiet place where no one can disturb you. Start reading each reason one by one and feel each emotion that comes to you. Don’t feel ashamed by reading these reasons. These are the reasons that making you angry and this doesn’t make you a bad person.