Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
My ex girlfriend and I broke up 3 days ago. Reason? I treated her like a queen, she had a 5 year old adorable daughter at the time, we got really really attached. Me and my girl were very happy a few months ago. 2 months ago she wanted marriage, kids, moving in, all that. Well I did everything for this girl, picked her kids up from school so she could get more sleep, fixed her car, took her out to dinner, told her how beautiful she was, we started to argue because I’d get pissed when she canceled important plans to do things with her friends. She did not make me a priority. I feel like I got took for a ride. When we broke up I went to her house and basically told it how it was, I did this in anger. I told her I deserve better, and that she has used me for the last time. Well I left and she texted me crap like “sorry it didn’t work out you deserve someone great” and I replied “fuck off” and basically kept that attitude for a day until I cooled up. I went out on a date last night with a girl (more attractive than her) and she knows about it and made a comment like “well that was fast”. We are meeting tomorrow to end things the right way, civil. But I want her back. Is there anything I can do?
If you’re in the latter camp, and your girlfriend has said things like, “I’m not sure what I want anymore,” or “I just need some time by myself to figure things out,” she’s likely questioning her own feelings, not yours. The appropriate (and most effective) response here is to tell her you understand her feelings, rather than try to talk her out of them.
In the “needy,” slightly depressed condition you are in now, whether you realize it or not, you are broadcasting “pushiness” and they can sense it just from interacting with you even though you don’t *think* you are being pushy at all.
I lost my girl about 2 month ago. after that days i tried my best to her come back. but i did not leave her a day without talking … now she talk to me .. but she is liking other guy….. i want her coming back .. plz suggest
If your motives for getting back together have to do with saving face in front of friends or family, with proving to yourself or others that you can get her back if you want to, or with giving you a chance to hurt her back in any way, stop. Those aren’t good motives for pursuing a relationship with anyone, and particularly not with an ex. You’ll only cause the both of you further pain and emotional trauma. Instead, bear down and decide to deal with your feelings in an adult way.
“How long am I expected to live like this? The days are VERY lonely. It’s an unbelievably depressing feeling to wake up and immediately realize that I’m not home, and have no friends or family to talk with … I get up, I meditate, I swim, I go to work, I eat, I lift some weights, I meditate again and go to sleep. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I’m not enjoying work (which would normally be a decent distraction), but feel I can’t quit, as I have too many financial responsibilities I have to uphold. I’m amazed I haven’t gone mad yet.
I don’t think you messed up NC, but rather she’s confused right now over what she wants. It might be a good idea to find out more, since NC is complete and if she isn’t that serious with whoever she’s going out with, I think still winning her back would be the right move.
You may notice that a lot of what you are doing during the no contact period is working on bettering yourself. I am not saying it’s going to be easy but doing what I recommended above will really help to heal you. Oh, and you may realize after some time that you don’t really want to get back with your ex (stranger things have happened.)
And now onto phase 3, which is re-attraction. Now it’s time to arrange an in-person meeting. Get a chance to meet her in person and flirt with her. This could be something like going out for coffee or going out for a couple drinks. The goal here is to reignite the flame and flirt like crazy!
If you’re unhealthy, clean up your diet and start working out. If you’re a workaholic, cut your hours at the office. You need to become the best version of yourself now that you want her back. [Read: 25 signs and qualities that make a great boyfriend]
If you want to make yourself capable to win your ex back again then you have to stop blaming yourself. Breakups are part of relationship and even strongest couple sometime suffer from breakup as well. Just because you are suffering from breakup doesn’t mean you are bad person.
Psychologist Jack Mearns studied people’s reactions to breakups. Those who got over the relationship quicker and easier were those who coped actively – by pursuing new friends, getting involved with hobbies, etc.
Texts to your ex should be infrequent and low-key. Let her know you’re thinking of her and ask her to call you back when she’s free. Try to show that you’re living your own life by not texting constantly, and perhaps by mentioning your plans for the day.
And the number one thing? Build courage, confidence, and a philosophy of abundance by specifically working on your skills at attracting women outside of your social circle. Yes, strangers. The truth is, the fear that we don’t have control over our love lives is the greatest source of insecurity for most men. I wrote The Anti-Pickup Line to chronicle how I overcame that and to teach other guys to do the same. Read it.
Ok, so me and my ex were together for three months. He is 16 and I am 19. We are both guys. So basically we had an huge fight during New Year’s eve and broke up for two days. We decided to then to get back and try again, and then he decided that we would be better as just “friends” later on that weekend… He broke up with me because he didn’t want to cut talking with a boy he met (and kissed) during New Year’s eve… During the first the days after the break up he was acting like nothing happened or whatsover till I decided to use the whole “no contact” thing to him and then he asked to me go pick up my stuff on his house next week… So what should I do, is the any chance at all anymore or not.
Stop texting your ex girlfriend to say how sad or hurt you feel. If she calls or texts, do not answer. If you really want to write something out, do so on your computer or a piece of paper and send it to yourself. At least that way, you get it out and can sort through the feelings without dragging her back into it.
Over the next month, during which you should have absolutely no contact with your ex, I will show you how to become irresistibly attractive to your ex. Then, towards the end of the month, I will reveal to you a plan for a date with your ex. During this date you will be putting off an irresistibly attractive image (if you have followed all of my advice). I will also tell you what to talk about, exactly what to say if certain things come up, and much more.
If you are want to win a girl back then all you have to do is to accept your breakup and let your girlfriend go. This is very crucial step for how to get your ex girl back and it may be difficult for you. But you have to let your ex girlfriend go to pull her back again in your life.
My ex ended things 2 weeks ago. Initially he said he didn’t know if he wanted a relationship anymore and needed to think about things but didn’t want to end things completely. At first he was lovely, reassuring me he still cared about me it was just a case of timing and wanted to stay in contact whilst he figured things out. But I pressured him into making a decision the more I text the more annoyed he got and ended things completely. Initially I made the mistake of trying to change his mind, he reluctantly replied at first but the stopped responding completely. I started NC 2 weeks ago and then today he deleted me off all social media. I panicked and messaged him asking how his Christmas was, he read and didn’t respond. I don’t know what him deleting me means and what I should do about it? Should I re start no contact or is this his way of saying he’s moved on? We are both in our 20’s and were together for 2 months.
However, I would say that the average man will leave a relationship when his is no longer getting what he needs. No I am not talking about sex here (although that can lead to problems for some men.) I am talking about admiration.
You have some work to do on yourself if you want to have healthy, lasting relationships with amazing women. You need to build self-esteem. You need to build social skills. You need to build relationship skills.
1. Your ex needs some space and time to remove all the negative associations from the breakup and start missing you. People have a common misconception that if you don’t contact your ex, they will forget about you. But in reality, if you don’t contact your ex, you will give him time to miss you more and he will be wondering all the time why you are not contacting him. Remember all the mistakes in Part #1 of this guide. Every one of them made your ex think of you as a needy person. By not contacting him, you immediately become not needy in his mind.
This conversation took place a week ago and I have seen him twice since then just to hang out really at our house and have been in contact by text every day. He today told me that he is going to be moving closer to his work and moving in with a colleague which means an hour’s drive away from me.
I do still have strong feelings for him and there are so many things that I want to tell him. But you said the best thing is to keep things light and emotion-free. He mentions in his email that he misses my friendship and wants to be friends. What exactly does he mean by that? And should I stay friend with him even though I want him back? I have already composed a reply to send to him which i based off of the magic letter guidelines: