Chances are you have already found that real beauty comes from within.
This may sound dumb, but most people would say they want her back because they love her. The problem is that that seldom is the whole story. If you don’t know, or do not want to admit, the whole truth as to why you want to get back with your ex wife then both you and her could be in for a lot of pain.
Some men who have lost their wife in a divorce find themselves lonely, and naturally they think back to better times with her.
Convincing yourself that you’re still in love with your ex can sometimes follow and then you think only way you’ll ever be happy again is if the two of you reconcile. That may be fine if you are thinking clearly and considering all the facts; not so fine if you are fooling yourself.
That’s why it’s so important for you to take time and really think about your reasons for wanting to get your ex wife back. I mean, you got divorced for a reason (though I admit not always a good reason).
If after some thought you realize that it is just because you are lonely or that she has started dating that you’ve decided the two of you should get back together, do yourself and her both a big favor and don’t do it. You will both be even more miserable than you were the first time around.
If, on the other hand, after you’ve thought about it for a while you realize that you really do love her and that the issues you had in your marriage could be fixed, you should consider trying to reconcile with your ex.
This only can work though, if both of you are willing to work on fixing the problems!
Before you call her and even think about suggesting that the two of you get back together, you need to spend time on yourself. Figure out where you are flawed and make changes. Put yourself in her shoes and look at yourself. Write down what you find; remember what she has told you in the past.
The bottom line is that until you’ve changed some of your more irritating traits, your relationship with your ex won’t work. And that is only if you can convince her to give you another shot.
Keep in mind that what she may have told you were the reason(s) for divorce may not be the whole story either. Forgetting to put the toilet seat down and put your underwear in the hamper are irritations and frustrating and maybe even the cause of an argument – but seldom the reason for divorce.
She has needs you need to meet if you want to win back her love. She needs to believe you have really changed whatever was intolerable; maybe smoking, drinking, gambling, flirting or cheating.
Get your act together before you make any attempts to contact her and begin some kind of reconciliation. A great guide that can help you not only analyze what went wrong but also help you fix the problems and approach your ex wife in a way that will appeal to her is this book by T.W. Jackson.
So, if you want to know “how do I get my ex wife back?” the first thing you need to do is face up to what you did wrong in the marriage and make the required changes. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
Do this right and you will have a chance at a great marriage the second time around.