When My Marriage Is On The Rocks
Often someone will ask if it is possible to stop divorce, and if so, how can I stop my divorce? All relationship issues are emotional but I think divorce is one that tears at the heart more than many of the others.
There are so many questions we really need to ask just to get enough background to move forward:
- Did the two of you rush into marriage?
- Was the marriage ever really considered successful?
- How long have you been married?
- Are there children in the family?
And these are just for starters.
There are times when two people really are incompatible and maybe should not have ever been married. But when one of them is passionate enough about the marriage to ask “how can I stop my divorce” then I have to think that at least one spouse feels the marriage is worth saving.
So let’s go from there and presume that there can be a loving marriage. What is the next step?
What do the two of you have in common, besides a home and maybe some children? Do you share the same interest all? Are there predominant hobbies in either of your lives that pretty much over shadow everything else, perhaps even your mate?
If that is the case, then is it your hobby? Is there any way to get your spouse involved in it with you – have you ever asked or invited them into that part of your world? Maybe you have been excluding him or her from your golf or fishing, or shopping and antiquing.
Married couples do not have to share every interest or hobby, but things certainly go better when you have common interests and ways of spending time together where you are doing something enjoyable.
Maybe you do not really have any hobbies and perhaps your spouse does. Is there some way you could sincerely show some interest and see if there is a common ground there? If there is, any time you spend doing that you should try to be upbeat, happy and look for opportunities for showing affection.
Over time, couples can simply drift apart, and if they drift long enough one will get frustrated enough to start talking about divorce; maybe they would never even go through with it. Do, however, take such talk seriously as perhaps even that is why you are reading this.
When drifting has separated two people in a marriage, you can sometimes stop divorce with just a little effort to see where your spouse is in life and “paddle” over toward them. Often, your effort will reignite some dormant flame in your spouse and encourage them to “paddle” towards you and you can meet half way.
Other times, only one spouse is really willing to make the effort. Go ahead and be that person anyway and make the effort.
Sure, you can try marriage counseling, but that is expensive and not always effective, either. Counseling will have a greater chance if one or both of you have already been making a serious effort to show your mate your interest in them, their life and your marriage.
Everyone enjoys knowing that someone is sincerely interested in them, especially in a romantic way. Do not overdue it right off the bat, always be sincere and never do anything just for show. I am not implying you should be a doormat to them either. You can still be your own person, but be thinking how your life and your actions impact your spouse. In short, be considerate.
There can be long road ahead when you have to stop divorce and heal a broken marriage. What I have tried to do here is give you a good start with some honest advice I think will help.
A more complete solution for someone asking “Can I stop my divorce” is part of the robust relationship manual that is offered as The Magic of Making Up. In it you will find extensive relationship healing tactics and little known secrets to stop divorce and bring the love back between the two of you.
Why don’t you take a look right now at the video preview and see if you can relate to the types of marital issues they have answers outlined for. The link is right here.