Win Her Love Back With The Right Moves
When a woman starts to distance herself from a man, most men seem to think they have “done something”. Maybe TV sitcoms have contributed to that line of thinking – they always portray the guy in the relationship as a putz.
In reality, though, most women typically do not leave their man because he “did something” or even because they do not love him anymore. And it usually is not because they are not attracted to him anymore.
Surprisingly enough, the reason a woman’s love would seem to fade and you no longer feel loved could very well be caused by a host of things that you have NOT done!
A fair warning here, though, do not take that information and tag yourself with all kinds of guilt that it is all your fault the relationship is falling apart; it may not be. Every coin has two sides, my grand-daddy used to say.
How could her pulling away not be all your fault?
- First, maybe she had unrealistic expectations; maybe she’s been watching too much of the wrong kind of TV.
- Second, has she been crystal clear on what she expected or even wanted from you and the relationship? Ask and you shall receive, keep quiet and it becomes a crap shoot. Think about it; how often do you tell her what you need her to do for you? (OK, maybe you are afraid of making her angry – oh, wait, maybe she was afraid of your reaction?)
(Let me make myself a note; it’s probably time to write some articles about the importance of communication in the relationship again.) But do remember that communication MUST BE a 2-way street!
So now let’s work on the problem at hand: How can I make her love me again? Here are 4 tips that I think should help get you started on the right track.
Tell Her You Love Her, Then Tell Her Again
Most women do not get tired of hearing those three little words. And it really helps if she hears it besides just when you are on top of her in bed. I know, maybe she quit telling you first and it spiraled down the drain from there; either way, let’s get this spinning the RIGHT way.
You never want to take it for granted that she knows you love her. Have you heard the old joke:
“I told her I loved her when I married her and that if it ever changed I’d let her know.”
Maybe eons ago that actually worked; back when women had few options. Today, they have lots of options and a society quick to tell them to dump you and check them out.
So do not even stop with telling her you love her, show her as well, in the way you treat her. Shout it out from the rooftops if you must, but make sure she knows, without a doubt, that you only have eyes for her. And when you go out, keep your eyes on her.
Make It A Point to Listen to What She has to Say
Yeah, I know. This one is hard. Men and women often live in different worlds when it comes to language and communicate differently. I’ve recently been through some issues with my wife on this one with regard to our (they think) adult kids. I had to make it clear to her that I was listening by repeating back to her what she said.
But then I had to tell her what those words meant to me and how she needed to use different words if she wanted me to get the intended message.
Here is an example:
Man: Honey, where do you want to go to eat?
Woman: Oh, I don’t care, wherever.
Man: OK, how about [Insert Restaurant Name]?
Woman: If that is what you want.
Man (at the restaurant): You don’t seem happy?
Woman: Well, I don’t like this place, I was hoping for [Insert DIFFERENT Restaurant Name].
Have you been there? Done that? Is that REALLY the guys fault?
Maybe not, but you are not likely to change that. It is, though, a common occurrence in some relationships. While we would like our gal to communicate differently, more clearly, the first step for you is going to be to try to reach across the divide and listen to WHAT she says, HOW she says it and try to connect in her language.
Another problem that can really get you in hot water is when she starts talking and sometimes your eyes just glaze over with this faraway look; you really don’t care about her friend Suzy’s issues with her hair stylist.
She notices this and it hurts because she is talking to you. She has probably listened to you complain about the player the coach put in during the game last night and subsequently lost – and perhaps she could care less.
If you can begin to convince her that you really DO care what she cares about and listen to what she says, it will make you big time points.
Make Time for Her On A Regular Basis
If she is the love of your life then you really should not have to sacrifice too hard to make time to do things with her. Sure, I know, her interests have changed. The two of you never went to antique shops when you were dating and now that you own a house she likes to do that. Or whatever.
Find something that you both like to do together so she does not feel like the only time she gets with you is if she drags you to the antique mall. We covered a lot of possibilities in a few previous articles.
Whatever you do do NOT indicate that this is a compromise on your part or some big sacrifice. You really should want to do things together AT LEAST once in a great while. Weekly date nights are a small thing, but when done right, they can mean so much for the romance and love in your relationship.
At least during this time together she knows that she is your woman and your love.
Make Sure She Know She Still Rocks Your World
Tell her how beautiful she is. Let her know you think she is hot. No matter how many times she dismisses it (and that is frustrating, I know first hand), she secretly loves to hear you say it.
She wants to know that she still turns you on and that you are not just settling for her because she is the one in your bed every night. She wants to know that your fires are still burning bright for her just as much as you want to know that she is still into you too.
It is not necessary to be as suave as James Bond, you do not have to double your income every year.
Losing 100 pounds is not what it will take to make her love you again (though if you need to lose it, please do, for a number of reasons).
What is important is that you make sure she knows that you still love her and that you are still the man she fell in love with all that time ago.
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Need more help? Hit us up with a question below, or head over to see what our buddy T-dub has to say in this video.