Two Ideas To Start Saving Your Relationship Today
No one enjoys the feeling of failing relationship, especially if you are still loving but not feeling loved. It’s natural in these cases for a woman to wonder why he doesn’t love her anymore like he used to. You wonder not only what went wrong but more importantly, was it your fault?
But here’s the real important thing you have probably asked yourself: “What can I do about it, or is it too late?”
Fortunately most people don’t simply turn their love on and off like a switch. Falling in love takes time, usually is NOT at “first sight” and similarly takes time to fall out of love. So he probably is not completely out of love with you which means you have a chance to make him love you again, and save the relationship you treasure.
Understanding the problem is a start, but you need a solution; and that solution comes in the form of a plan you can start today.
You need to re-ignite the spark between you, and you can do that by getting his attention in the same way you probably did initially. Here’s the first step:
Start Dressing To Impress Him
True love is more than skin deep or how you look, but let’s face it, that’s how women usually get a man’s attention to begin with; he likes what he sees and the chase is on! One thing that soooo many women resort to once they are “comfortable” in a relationship is dressing for comfort.
Often this results in a disease I call “frumpiness”. Dressing like an old lady, a bag lady or – you know – one of those “Walmart ladies” might be comfortable but it’s also a recipe for loneliness.
Wear clothes you know he likes you in and get rid of that house dress he hates – or only wear it cleaning day when he’s not around.
This does not have to be expensive, by the way. He might love you in a fitted T-shirt and jeans; maybe with a short jacket over the top if you’re going out. The point is, you should know what trips his trigger by this point in the relationship. And while changing your dress alone may not make him love you again it certainly is going to make sure he knows you’re there.
And, it’s a great seque into the next step of your plan.
Change Up The Way You Show Your Love For Him
The first thing I have to make sure you understand is that men and women show love in different ways, and want love shown to them in different ways. Just like with gloves and socks, “one size fits all” is bad joke, but with love that’s where we start, speaking in generalities because we do not know you or your man personally.
So, in general, men are going to show love with acts – and it’s not always sexual. A good man takes pride in making sure his wife is taken care of and provided for: the house is kept in good repair, the car is washed, waxed, oil changed and tires properly inflated. And he may prides himself on how reliable the car is, maybe choosing to drive the “junker” of the family himself.
(Side note here: It is said the one of the most famous fighter squadron leaders of World War II, though entitled by rank to fly the newest and best aircraft, often insisted a newer pilot take his plane leaving him with the one most likely to encounter difficulties; just one way he showed how much he cared for his men.)
Other things a man might do is put his hand protectively on your back in public or steady you as you climb stairs in heels, or pull the car out of the parking space so you can get in easier. Recognize and appreciate these acts of love for what they are and let him know it!
Women Show Love Differently
OK, that’s something you already knew, right? Your expressions are probably more verbal while some are still service oriented. Taking care of the household, making sure he always has clean clothes and food on the table may be ways you show love – or you might do them grudgingly.
But one thing he will definitely notice is the words coming out of your mouth.
Do your words express love or make him think of you as a, well, that b-word?
Words that confront, criticize, and disrespect him will quickly begin to shred any love he still has for you – particularly if used in front of others.
Instead use words that build him up and praise him; when he hears that he will simply beam inside – whether he shows it or not.
Perhaps someone asks if you’re “still driving that old [fill in the blank with your car]”. Some women would say, whether jokingly or not “he can’t afford to buy me a new car” or something similar.
Try instead: “Why not? My man keeps it in perfect running order, and keeps it clean and shiny besides”.
See the difference?
One response is going to result in an argument at some point, the other is going to have him cuddling up next to you with a big smile on his face. Which do you prefer?
Now, naturally, your guy wants the intimate affection as well. But believe it or not, how you treat him the rest of the day is going to have a bigger impact on getting him to love you again in the way that you want.
Where To Go From Here
Hopefully this is a starting point for you that will get your man’s attention and let him know that you still want to be part of his life.
If you feel that there has been a lot of damage that needs to be fixed, then take a look at some stronger medicine here.
Also feel free to leave a comment below with questions and we will do our best to help so you won’t be asking “Why doesn’t he love me anymore”…anymore!