There Is One Secret To Getting Him To Treat You Like You Want
Many women expect their husband or “other half” to treat them like a Queen. And indeed, that’s not necessarily asking too much and can often be achieved in a healthy relationship. There are many couples, some together a long time, where it’s obvious that the woman is treated very well and enjoying her position in her man’s life.
But don’t think that happens automatically.
In fact, they say that a man who opens the car door for his wife has either a new car or a new wife! Yes, first and second dates it might happen too.
The truth is that some men start out treating a women quite well for a number of reasons, so let’s take an honest look at some of them here:
- It’s the way the man was brought up and he thinks it’s the right thing to do
- He wants something (You do know what, right?)
- The guy wants to start the relationship off right; maybe he has seen some bad behavior he wants to NOT be a part of
- He is trying to impress you, or others – could be all for show
How Do You Want Him To Treat You?
Asking you how you want your guy to treat you is probably opening up a topic that is just too broad to cover in a post or even two. Yet we have to start somewhere.
Most women, whether they are big on “equal rights” or not, want a few things for certain from the man in their relationship. Some of those might be (and feel free to leave a comment below with others):
So how do you help make sure you get those things from him?
Well, first off, if you want respect, act in such a way that you deserve respect.
If you want consideration, treat him with some to make sure he knows what it looks like (and so he can’t say “you don’t show me any…”).
If you want him to pay attention to you, do what you did when you first caught his attention. But further, don’t penalize him with poor or childish behavior when he does show you some attention.
Want your man to admire you? Be admirable!
How Do You View Yourself?
When it comes to interacting with others, few people will respect someone who does not inwardly feel deserving of respect. Few people will continue to be considerate to someone who is consistently inconsiderate to others. No one will want to pay any attention to someone who does nothing but whine and complain when around them. And no one will likely admire someone who has no self esteem.
Does that make sense?
Notice that other than the consideration item, I haven’t even really touched on how you treat him – yet.
Here are some points to consider:
- Do you get up in the morning and get going or sluff off in bed while he slaves at either his job or work around the house?
- Do you tend to your appearance even when “only he” can see you? Please do NOT be one of those women who goes to Walmart (or wherever) looking like something the cat drug in – you know what I mean. Yes, I know it takes time to do makeup and all that each day, but I think you will see the difference if you do.
- Do you make sure that what comes out of your mouth does not destroy the image you are trying to make? If your IQ is a little lower than you’d like, be sure of your facts before spouting off and looking like an idiot in group discussions. Does alcohol loosen the tongue? Learn to like non-alcoholic beverages. Remember, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and be THOUGHT a fool than to open it and remove all DOUBT!
- Do you strive to be productive in your life, whether it be corporate CEO, housewife & mother, or anything else in between? Never discount the value of a woman who keeps her home and raises children well, it’s one of the most honorable “professions”.
- Do you show respect for the work your husband does around the home, and if he is the breadwinner, show respect for the money he works hard to earn?
- Do you treat strangers with respect, even when you know that person can do nothing for you?
- Do you put others (including your man) down – in order to push yourself “up”?
Time For The SECRET To Being Treated Like A Queen
OK, everything up until now has been “building blocks” to where we are going.
If you really want your man to treat you like a queen, then here is what to do. Based on what I have written above you might be tempted to say that if you want to be treated like a queen, then ACT like one!
And you wouldn’t be all wrong.
But remember, some queens in history have been royal bitches (Queen Jezebel from the Bible comes to mind).
So the “SECRET” is this: Treat your husband like a King!
There are many women I have known who thought they deserved to be treated like a queen, yet they treated their husband like a peasant. Really! How many queens in history have been married to a peasant?
Same goes for “schmuck”. If you treat your husband like he is worthless, don’t expect him to act any other way. Will the treatment always be reciprocal? Unfortunately, no.
But you can pretty much count on a man who does treat you well eventually getting fed up with being treated poorly by you and greatly reducing the quality of the way he acts towards you in return.
One of the bonus articles we send to those who sign up for our email advice & reports discusses this. Call it old fashioned if you want, but just because some “norms” in society change and the media promote that change doesn’t change the DNA of a man. He still wants to think that his home is his “castle”. Take that feeling away (or never give it) and see how you get treated. Like a queen? Doubtful when the “king” has been de-throned.
Want To Be EQUAL In The Relationship?
Some of you may be bristling at the analogy here because a king usually (not always, look at England today) has more power than a queen. And the idea of equality in a marriage is sensational, it sure beats the idea of a man beating his wife into submission, right?
But what happens in the case of a “tie” vote? Argument? Nothing? (Making no decision is still a decision.)
Even our Republic form of government has rules in place to break any deadlocks of tie votes.
And don’t think you can start a business with a 50/50 partnership and never encounter a problematic situation because of it. Typically, SOMEONE has 50.1% or another way to break a tie vote.
You Don’t Have To Give Up “Equality” To Treat Him Like A King
The good news is that you don’t have to be subservient to treat your husband like a king. (A quote from the movie “Big Fat Greek Wedding Comes To Mind”).
- Treat your husband with respect
- Show him gratitude for what he does (never underestimate the power of a simple “Thank you”)
- Speak well of him in front of OTHERS
It can be the simple things. If he just spent half a day cleaning up your car – or the family car – don’t take it out in the rain the next day for something that can be postponed until the roads dry up.
When he comes in from a hot job like mowing the lawn, have his favorite cool drink ready for him.
Don’t be a bore, but when you are with your friends throw out an honest “brag” about him once in a while:
- My guy spent all weekend doing landscaping around the house, you should see it, it looks fantastic!
- [John] gave up watching the game Saturday so he could go shopping with me (even if you had to threaten him to get him to go)
Someone says something negative about him, defend him!
- Someone says “[John] sure seems to be in a bad mood tonight”. Try responding with “he works really hard and even though he hasn’t been feeling well, he doesn’t have the option of taking a sick day like some people. He probably shouldn’t have even come tonight but he did it for me”. I have heard other women respond instead “Yeah, he can be a real jerk. Sometimes I wonder why I married him.”
Can you see the difference?
No, it’s not always easy. Not always fun. I wish relationships were easy & fun but the truth is they are not. A good relationship takes effort from both parties.
Where To Go From Here
I don’t know how bad your relationship is, but since you are here I’m guessing it’s not where you would like it to be.
Turning it around won’t happen overnight, and it can be a painful process. Try some of these ideas to treat your man like a king and see if he doesn’t respond by treating you more like a queen.
The very reason there are so many relationship help guides is because it’s not usually easy nor always fun. But you can try to make it fun, the choice is yours. If we can help, leave a comment below and we’ll see what we can do.