Being with my ex again in those last few months gave me something that our initial relationship never did: A sense of relief—of finally taking off the rose-colored glasses I had been wearing all along.
Our first priority is to make sure that whatever it is you did, that made her want to finish with you – we discover what that was NOW. Because you gotta stop doing it, otherwise the simple process I’m about to reveal won’t work.
The main thing you are trying to do with “remembering the good times” is to get them to think about the most positive aspects of your previous relationship. This means that you are going to have to be as positive as you possibly can.
1. Your ex needs some space and time to remove all the negative associations from the breakup and start missing you. People have a common misconception that if you don’t contact your ex, they will forget about you. But in reality, if you don’t contact your ex, you will give him time to miss you more and he will be wondering all the time why you are not contacting him. Remember all the mistakes in Part #1 of this guide. Every one of them made your ex think of you as a needy person. By not contacting him, you immediately become not needy in his mind.
Why? Because clearly, to be together for so long, there had to be a real, emotional connection. On the other hand, even if you were not together for that long, if a deep emotional connection was established, you still have a shot at getting back together.
Then really act on it: If he couldn’t stand your liberal definition of arriving “on time,” make a point to be early. And if your hot button was not getting a text when he was out late, call him out if he trips up again. Just pick your battles when it comes to past issues or you’ll be back where you started.
It is possible you may want to know from where this panic comes from. In simple words, I can explain when you get immediate loss of control it triggers panic. When you are in relationship you smile, enjoy and argue with your ex boyfriend because you know you can control your relationship but when breakup occurs you lost control and enters into world of unknown feelings that trigger panic. This make you dunk dial to your ex and say everything that only make things worst.
Think about how you felt while you were in the relationship. How was your self-esteem and confidence? Did you think your partner showed appreciation and love for you? And why do you want to get back together with your ex?
Now that we diagnosed why your break up happened, you’re going to need to begin a No Contact Period. This applies regardless of whether you’re Category A, B or C, but since 95% of readers will be Category A, from this point on I’ll be proceeding under the assumption that you are Category A.
The No Contact Rule- No texting, talking or stalking your ex for a full month. That is 30 days of essentially cutting your man out of your life. Remember, don’t dig into his life and don’t Google + or Facebook him.
Hello Adrian, I broke up with my girlfriend in November of 2014. I told her the reason was because I was with someone new. However, I was never in a relationship with anyone before and after the break up despite I was indeed seeing someone new. A week before the break up, we were in a cold war, the kind of period where she just stopped talking to me, reason being I said something inappropriate. A week later, she came back to me and I asked to break up. My ex and I had little to no arguments or fights when we were together despite it’s our second time splitting up. First time was due to the same reason, except it was my ex who was seeing someone. It’s been almost 17 months since the break up and earlier February of this year, she got into a new relationship. Before that, I was told she was devastated to see me leave but I have no idea how long she felt that way. Now, I am not sure if my ex is in a rebound relationship. When she started dating, she seemed kind of protective of her relationship from me, but now she is getting more and more comfortable with sharing it on Snapchat and Twitter. One thing that puzzled me was that before and after she got into her new relationship, she still contacted me occasionally, talking about our common interests. When I found out she is in a new relationship, I insisted on asking if she wants to talk about it. She said alright and I asked it to be in a month’s time, allowing me to go through the no contact period. We will be meeting up end of April or beginning of May. We were also in a relationship for almost a year before I asked to break up. At this point, I probably have done things I shouldn’t have done, what do you think I should do next and do you think it is still possible for me to get her back? Thank you!
By not contacting your ex, you are giving them time to forget all those negative qualities about you and think about the good qualities in you. And the best part of no-contact is that when you stop contacting your ex, you automatically become “not needy” in their mind. (sometimes, this is enough for them to want to get back together.)
To humility and self-awareness I would add skills. That’s why I wrote my book Power of Two and the website poweroftwomarriage.com. I’d sure love to see more folks access the gratifications of a fully loving committed relationship….
The good news is that there is potential for ending up with reunion and a better-than-ever relationship ahead. Here’s five steps that can save folks from crashing down the waterfall, enabling them instead to find solid ground and a bridge to a better future.
(Side Note: The system I have outlined on this page will work for teenagers in high school, married couples, people who haven’t seen each other in six months or two years and people who just got out of a long distance relationship. Basically, I am saying this system is universal!)
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Though you should avoid making the same mistakes, if you’re constantly obsessing over not making them, you won’t be able to enjoy the relationship. Just have fun and try not to think about it too much unless you’re having a conflict. If you’re so worried that you’ll lose him again every step you take, you won’t be able to live in the moment.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
If the relationship you shared with her was a meaningful one, it’s unlikely that you’ll be in the friendzone (not for long at least). Even if she wants to remain just friends, it’s something you should take as it’s already better than her ignoring your messages and gives you more room to build up a stronger bond. Some people get the shortcut of their ex instantly wanting them back, while some others would have to go through a slightly longer route of nurturing the relationship up first as a friend before trying anything more.
Then you are still suffering from post-breakup denial and bargaining. Denial and bargaining are two of the many stages of grief after a breakup. It’s extremely common for people to want to get their ex back after a breakup. However, it’s not always the right choice.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
My name is Beatrix i thank Priest Ajigar for the help he gave to me for i never thought any thing could make my husband come back and take me as his wife again after he broke up with me and left to settle down with another woman who never Knew how we both suffered and share feelings together in USA but thank God today i was lucky to see this great spell caster on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex,husbands and wife renewing their relationship i was convinced and i contacted him and just in 3 days after the spell was casted my beloved husband came looking for me and right now we are together again and he is taking care of me and the little kids as his responsibilities and family.I advice today if you are looking for a real and powerful spell caster just know that Priest Ajigar is a very powerful and a genuine spell caster and he don’t do dark or black magic here is his email(firstname.lastname@example.org)
You can change your hairstyle- I’ll admit, I am not a hairstyle guru but everywhere I researched claimed that this was an excellent tactic to looking good for your man so who am I to argue with the experts.
She hasn’t moved on as far as I am aware but made signs that she was starting to get used to being “single” Therefore I consider this point in time the final attempt to salvage. I have dug deep and think she is worth it but want to avoid a repeat. She Will not firmly say it is over and avoids all discussion and attempts to get third party assistance or support. She still states she did nothing wrong. I think there could be undiagnosed mental health issues as the theme throughout the relationship has been there, just not quite right.
We were doing really great, she was messaging me loads, she came over to mine during the week and we spent all weekend together, then all of a sudden it was like a switch had changed, she went really cold, I gave her some space and wasn’t pushing to speak to her. I think it has something to do with her EX who she was seeing almost a year and a half ago now, he has caused some trouble between us in the past. The following weekend I called her, she hung up on me to speak to someone else, she said she’d message me but never did. To try and not be too soft I decided to question her about it because I can’t be too nice all the time, otherwise she’d just walk all over me, she seemed okay until the following day she just lost it over the phone as I was on my way to a family meal. Again she told me all the usual things, I see you as family/ a friend. I tried not to react in the same way as before because obviously I’ve been through it once so I knew not to react the same way. I haven’t made contact with her since, I’m not as upset this time round, probably because I’ve dealt with this once before, but do you think its best to follow the 30 day rule again? I’ve seen she’s been looking at my social media posts and as you suggest I’ve been keeping away from all of hers.
Sure, your old relationship had its bad points, but if you can’t stop thinking about the good times you had with your ex — and not just those related to sex — it could be a big sign that you should try to make it work.