You know what I will miss, the love you have for me and the way you adore me, I’m afraid I will never have that again. But in saying that I want to have that for someone too. It’s one thing to say someone feels that way toward you but it’s completely different to have those feelings for someone else. I imagine its almost like a high or a drug addiction. And you must want that for your self. For god sake I want that for you, but I know I can’t. The only way this relationship could work is by me having those feelings and that’s not something you cannot create. You are perfect the way you are and you will find someone that adores all your qualities and they will not want you to change in anyway.”

Let her see that you’re doing just fine without her. If she hears that you’ve been absolutely miserable, crying in public, and shouting her name out on street corners, she’ll be turned off quicker than you can say, “I miss you!” Instead, you want her to hear — and see — that you’re having a great time going about your everyday life without her by your side. She’ll see you as a dynamic person who has a lot going for him, and will begin to wonder why you’re not openly showing signs of missing her more.

That piece also led to me getting a relatively constant stream of emails and comments and requests to write the post I’d promised, provided there was enough interest, at the end of it – a post on how to get your girlfriend back.

Set a daily routine. To make the most of your time, it helps to have a schedule you can stick to. Start with a regular bedtime and a regular waking time every morning, and then roughly plan out your weekday routine.

Texting your ex all the time and calling them drunk is only going to make them less attracted to you. If you want to win your ex back, you’ve got to give them some time alone. You also need to give yourself some time without your ex. And calling and texting is not going to help anyone.

The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.

Me and my other half split up 5 weeks ago last sunday, he split with me 2 days after my 21st birthday. Yes he was my first love but I am completely smitten by him. When he broke it off with me he didnt give me much of a reason but gave me a kiss as he got out of my car. I got a text message saying “he doesnt want anything with me anymore, its a clean break and not just a break” but ive had no explination and im incredibly worried that he thinks the grass is greener. I made the mistake of texting him because i felt like i needed closure and he didnt give me that. After 2.5 years i deserve that right? He keeps telling people that hes “ignoring me to move on properly” and i just dont understand. 2 hours before breaking it off with me, he was telling me he loves me and misses me. And wrote in my birthday card “to my one and only” was this all a lie? Hes a very “led astray” person and his family like to drink and ever since this happened hes been drinking more, hes seen me once and not even made eye contact with me. He could never talk to me and convided in a mutual female friend who i now fear hes trying it on with. Hes getting on with his life whilst mines in the gutted. I really dont know if he loves me or has done for a while. Im so confused.

In other words, this would be the part where you actually attempt to get your girlfriend back. However, before I can start getting into specific steps I feel it is important to lay out the “big picture game plan” for you first.

If you find that you’re more frustrated, anxious or upset in the days and weeks following your breakup but you can’t figure out why, you may want to sit down and have a long talk with yourself. Admitting that you miss her is the first step to being able to let go of those feelings and get your life back.

Some people try to be there for their ex. They walk their dog, they show up at their door with some gifts, and other things. This hinders your value, and makes them wish you were gone. Aside from cutting off communication, it’s imperative that you are not visible. You cannot be seen by her, by your own doing. This will create value, as absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll force her to think about you, and will not let her have control, you’ll be in control.

Just behave as if nothing happened. Don’t treat her in any special way. Treat her just like you would treat any other girl in your friends circle. Don’t ignore her either. It’s important to understand that attachment and aversion are two sides of the same coin. So there is not much difference between trying to get her and trying to ignore her. Either way you will keep thinking about her and feel miserable.

If you behaved in 3+ of the above ways during the latter stages of your relationship with your ex, then the reason you lost her is because her attraction for you faded out. She will likely have told you some other bullsh*t reason for the break up, but the fact that you answered yes to the questions above, coupled with the amount of sense that the explanations I gave make, shows that dying attraction is unmistakably the cause.

Yes, by “do it” we mean have sex. Intimacy is an important part of a vital relationship, and one of the first areas to suffer if feelings are floundering. But sexual encounters can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner. “Of the many forms of couple intimacy—a smile across a room, a kiss, a touch—sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, coauthor of Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship…Without Leaving Your Bedroom. “This is especially true if sex results in emotional fulfillment, better communication, security and reassurance.”

This went on for days. I would call, e-mail, and send dozens of text messages but she wouldn’t budge. I was losing my mind. The more she resisted, the crazier I would get, until one night we got into a such heated fight she told me to “never call again”.