There are a hundred reasons why you can’t maintain a post-breakup friendship. Jealousy, bitterness, the fear of your ex getting a new boyfriend… these are only some of the pitfalls of staying friends after breaking up.

One additional thought. You might want to check out my post on infusing your interactions with positivity. It’s not just moths that are drawn to light. See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/10-ways-radiate-positivity-and-be-attractive. Maximize the positives in your interactions, delete the negatives like criticism or irritated emotions, and the odds will be likely to shift in your favor.

Work on yourself. Take some time to work out whatever problem may have ended your relationship, and just spend time enjoying your own company or hanging out with friends. Make a list of three flaws that you’d like to change about yourself, and slowly start to address them. It takes a lifetime to grow as a person, but even taking small steps to become your ideal steps can help your relationship.

Tell her how you feel. Once you’re pretty sure that she shares your feelings, there’s no point in beating around the bush. Find a time when you can both be alone and pick a place that is just a little bit romantic and gives you the privacy that you need. Then, look into her eyes and tell her how much you’ve missed her, and how much you’d like to date her again. You don’t have to grovel, but you should show her that you’ve put a lot of thought into the failed relationship and that you’re determined to make it work this time.

Consider this: unless you’re meeting and dating other cool girls during this period of singleness, your desire to date your ex comes from scarcity.  It’s one thing to want a girl back because you have picked her above a whole host of others.  Far more common: dudes obsess over their exes and transform them into angels because they can’t get other awesome girls.

He broke up with me over a month ago and i am still upset. I know he is not seeing anyone else and he knows i’m not either. When we broke up he told me he wants to be happy (he’s very depressed). He told me that he loves me way more than i love him and it’s just difficult to deal with that because i think that 2 people who love each other should be with together. we have been texting and it’s either very short or very long and we also have our location on for each other. we were together for almost 15 months and i see a future with him and he is fully aware that i would do anything to have him back. i want to see him so badly but i don’t think he wants to see me. He’s going through a lot of stuff like depression and he gets lost in his thoughts and this caused him to think i was cheating or lying to him or that i didn’t love him. I think cheating is disgusting and i’d never lie to him. He also can’t get over certain things…. such as him not being my first sexual partner which bothers me because i am a year older than him and it just bothers me that he doesn’t understand. all i want is for him to be happy but i also want him to be happy with me and i am so stuck. i asked him if he would ever come back and he said he doesn’t know. everyone keeps telling me to focus on myself and i can’t because i’m only focused on him and i really have hopes that we will get back together.

If you want love and you want to be worthy of love go do things that will make you proud.  Become someone who you would love.  Become someone who you do love (that starts today, with a commitment to be your best self).

Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her. I called her 12 times and ive been texting her also.and worst thing i did, iwent to her office so she saw me and ask what are you doing here, i told her i miss you i wanna see you.and i also ask her when she will come back and if she still love me. I keep on forcing her to answer until she pissed. So i went home and received text messages ftom her saying im not happy with what you did. I starting to hate you and you ask me if i still love you no i dont love you anymore. Now i dont know what to do? I dont wanna lose her.. pleasehelp me what to do not to lose her and to love me again..please

However she has a boyfriend that they have been together for about a year and a half. He treats her like shit, talks to her like shit and to top it off he is a fat sweaty nerd! OK here is the kicker- She is a former Texans cheerleader. She is beautiful, and Im not a bad looking guy! I have recently kicked my “bad Habbit” but she is still with this geek and I for the life of me cant figure out why she wont leave this jerk. She is my best friend.

Hi! I broked up with my boyfriend one month and a week ago, I broked up with him because he became distant with no reason, he was being very dry with me and I always asked him if I was being a good girlfriend and he always said that I was perfect. We didn’t have any problems during our relationship of 3 months. So, I broked up with him through a text “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and he replied that it was a good relationship but we were having many issues and that life made it complicated, so it was better to break up. I don’t know if I want him back because he became distant out of the blue, he didn’t call me or text me as much as before and he said “he was busy with his job” but I knew he had free time. I just want to know why he didn’t want to be with me if things were going well between us, I don’t know what my mistake was. I haven’t talked to him since we broked up, I deleted him from social media that day because I didn’t want him to talk to me. What did I do wrong in the relationship? Should I text him or should I let it go? Thank you, merry Christmas!!

Most couples who get together after a break-up experience a renewed strength, and stay together for longer than they did prior to the break-up. Now you have to decide either you want to get your ex girlfriend to want you back or if you would prefer to move on and get another girl. It does not matter how much bad the situation appears, there is always a chance of getting ex back. So is that what you really want?

It is very likely that she will contact you in these No-Contact days, especially if you follow my plan exactly. She will start feeling ‘fear of loss’ and start placing your value once again. It will be her natural instinct to contact you once again.

Well that’s exactly what will happen when you become an owner of this course. The moment you start reading through it — a calming feeling will rush over you. You’ll feel like the fog has been lifted from your eyes; you’ll know exactly what to do from that point forward — and you’ll push through until she’s back in your arms.

Change your thinking about this entire situation. Just give up control, accept the possibility that you may not get them back, stop worrying about the outcome, and relax – if you are following my advice you have already improved your chances of getting them back – take comfort in that if nothing else.

What’s up people, my ex of 11 years, 2 kids, engaged for 3 years and only in Portugal 4 months ago viewing wedding venues broke it off with me 2 weeks before Xmas this year. It’s now 6 weeks on and I still have the belief that I can win her back. I want her back, I fucking need her back!!! She’s the one no matter what anybody says. I need to know how to doh. I’ve meet for the coffee and it went fine until we started speaking about us and I had to leave because I didn’t want to meet up an dicuss us I just wanted to see her. So she’s given me all the talk that I need to let her go and we are done etc…

But I’d go over the memory of her in my mind — her maraschino cherry hair, her septum ring, the shiny stud in the side of her nose, the big black plugs in her ears — and worry that someone as edgy as she was would never go for a nerdy, plain woman like me. I settled for just being friends.

I was with my ex for 5 years. I broke up with him 6 months ago when I came to realize that I needed to work on my self confidence and he to work on his ability to show emotions. I applied NC without realizing it. He eventually reached out once per month in a friendly way, but nothing more than that.

There is a big difference in acknowledging your problems rather than allowing them to control you. Knowing you have anger feeling in the objective sense will help you to control your emotions in the better way.

Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texts are sacred, meaning that people rarely share them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

When you talk, talk about things he likes as well as what you like. It shows that you’re interested in him enough to care about his likes and dislikes, and that you trust him enough to confide in him.

So take your time with this course. You have a full 90 days to go through it. Why? Because I’m that confident the information within delivers on my promise to get your girlfriend back. And I’m inviting you to take me up on that promise without any risk whatsoever.

You are absolutely right! Sometimes taking a step back and working on yourself is the best thing you can do. If i had not been dumped I would not have stumbled upon KA and would not haven given my self the ability to become the ALPHA MALE I can be. So in essence it was somewhat of a blessing! SO if I decide I want to try with her again I won’t be a needy wuss trying to bargain from a position of scarcity and will know how better to deal with her.Thanks Charlie!!

In New York, when the shy and lonely project manager of a design firm Matt Saunders meets Jenny Johnson in the subway, he invites her to date and have dinner with him. Jenny immediately falls in love for him, they have sex and she discloses her true identity to him, telling that she is the powerful superhero G-Girl. After meeting his co-worker and friend Hannah Lewis, the needy Jenny becomes jealous, controlling and manipulative, and Matt follows the advice of his best friend Vaughn Haige and dumps her, breaking her heart. Jenny turns Matt’s life into hell, while he has a romance with Hannah. However, the archenemy of G-Girl and former high school sweetheart of Jenny, Professor Bedlam, proposes Matt to lure Jenny to strip her superpowers. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

I cant really believe it. Can someone help me out? My girlfriend just broke up with me and said I don’t act like a boyfriend. She said I have really hurt her. We only dated for a day. Because during the next day of our first date, I did not look for her at her locker and I did not even hug her or kiss her. It made her angry. She said anytime I see her I don’t come to her. So I was at the gym in school when I went to sit beside her. She just laughed and I asked her is she angry with me? Then she got up and told her friend to come and tell me that she wants to break up with me and just be friends. I was really shocked and it pained me but I kept it in me and instead of going to apologize I said okay. I have now really regretted. It really pains me. What can I do to get her back?

If you have kids together- The last thing you want is to come off like a jerk. So, if you are in this situation make sure you keep your interactions to a minimum. Keep things short, simple and positive.

You do not need to find out right away, and you definitely should not send friends to do your investigative work for you. Do not pursue your ex for at least a month after the breakup; instead, look for subtle hints when you run into him or her at school or work, social media posts, or comments that your mutual friends make unsolicited.