On Friday night, I met her to express my thoughts and officially end the relationship. As I was walking her her back to her place, she stopped, looked at me and shook her head from left to right, and didn’t want to proceed. I didn’t know what she wanted. But she gave me a hug before I sent her home.
If you have maintained contact with your ex since the break up then it will seem weird/rude if one day you just stop contacting them. However, the month of no contact is still very necessary so I would recommend that you slowly, over the course of a week or maybe two, lessen the amount of contact until it seems appropriate to stop completely. Use your judgment remembering that above all, you don’t want to come off as rude as this will only spark a power struggle and completely defeat the purpose of the month of no contact.
It’s important to have a plan to follow, because after a breakup you are hurt, emotionally drained and most of all, confused. And during this state of confusion, you are bound to make a lot of mistakes that will actually hurt your chances of getting back together.
Because not only are you getting the tools to take charge of your breakup and turn it around faster than you’ve ever dreamed possible (tools put together through the contributions of over 1200 men), you get to see with your own eyes exactly how these guys acted on this advice to get their girlfriends back.
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it’s okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don’t hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.
1. Your ex needs some space and time to remove all the negative associations from the breakup and start missing you. People have a common misconception that if you don’t contact your ex, they will forget about you. But in reality, if you don’t contact your ex, you will give him time to miss you more and he will be wondering all the time why you are not contacting him. Remember all the mistakes in Part #1 of this guide. Every one of them made your ex think of you as a needy person. By not contacting him, you immediately become not needy in his mind.
It is because you can also experience such security and excitement with someone else. There is even a possibility that you will experience those feelings while having a more stable and healthier relationship than before with another girl.
Meet up again – Keep meeting up with her casually for a few weeks to a few months. Keep the conversations light, friendly and nothing to do with breaking up. Make it look like you’re really happy and moving on with your life.
It’s best to admit your mistakes. You’ll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don’t mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
Another factor that might hamper your decision to get her back is the level of maturity that the two of you demonstrate. Is your ex-girlfriend still the same? Or did she grow up like you, too? Did both of you make all the necessary changes to improve yourselves so when the time comes that you get back together, you can already make it work?
This is the part where most people screw up. No contact will be of no use unless you try to make a positive change in your life during this time. If you just want to stay at home and just be miserable for the next one month, things are not going to change even after no contact period. Yes, you need to grieve after a breakup and yes, there’s some benefit in spending some time alone, grieving and analyzing your relationship. But at some point, you have to go out there and do something with your life.
We met up for lunch… then several weeks later for a walk by the Hudson river. Then some weeks later a couple of walks at the Rye shore where she lives. And most recently, we saw a movie and had dinner afterward. Then went up to her apartment – significantly smaller than the huge shoreline house that she had sold ten months prior, but still elegant and very much a reflection of her personality. We snuggled on the couch. We talked, we reminisced (oddly, she brought up and reviewed the details of our prior time together, not me). Didn’t kiss, but there was something really nice about the closeness.