He doesn’t want to talk much about the breakup or the reasons, he’s never been one to open up and share his feelings, but he says there’s no going back from what happened. Yet, when I ask him if he sees a possibility of us working out in the long term, he says yes. I can’t tell if he means that or is just saying it, but what should I do to get him back in the long term? I have already broken the rule of trying to convince him and have tried remaining in contact with him, but I am going to stop contacting him completely now.

No one is better at giving you open and honest advice than your friends and family, so don’t be afraid to ask for their opinion on getting back with a former flame. Their sage love advice may just be the mental clarity that your head and your heart need. “They are informed outsiders who are more dispassionate and objective,” says Rowland Miller, PhD, psychology professor at Sam Houston State University in Texas and author of Intimate Relationships. “They get to watch the partners interact either with grace and tolerance or with sour and suspicious patterns.”

The EBP requirements serve as a guideline but are not set in stone since every relationship situation is different. Currently, if you want a relationship where how you feel is accepted, and a partner who isn’t naive, you’ll have better luck in walking away and finding someone who fits that. If you still want to continue a relationship with her, then you’re going to have to accept that being jealous and telling her off on being naive (even if you’re right) are things that would only push her away. Instead of becoming angry (again, even if you have the right to be), I suggest talking to her in a more understanding way as that might make her more receptive to what you’re saying as opposed to telling her off and she becomes defensive and justifies the other person’s actions.

I was keeping some financial or company things hidden only because not to make her sad on that. But on many occasions when she comes to know about it she will burst out and will become so violent and try to break from me and the relationship. I had given oath many times to her that I won’t lie or hide anything from her. But on many occasions due to fear of losing her, I kept hidden and lied many times to her. in last December one such thing happened and finally, she left me. nearly after 1 year, i managed to get her back as my employee in my company. on condition, i will not pressure her into the former relationship but only employee and max a normal friend but not intimate. We were had a lot of discussions apologies, but nothing worked out. now she is with me for my family as she needed there to run the company. she is not happy if care here more and if showed much affection. But she is very normal to me now.

You’re overthinking it.. The nc rule is for you to focus in yourself, so that when you initiate and try to rebuild rapport, you’ll be thinking rationally instead of being emotional. We only recommend up to three tries after nc.. after that if it doesn’t go well, that means it would be better to move on.

My bf of 2 years left me 5 days ago. We’ve hardly argued but when we did it was mainly because of his mates not liking me. I have always made an effort with them but they found me too positive so they chose not to accept me in their circle. Last straw was that i saw my ex’s best mate wrote a very nasty text talking about me. My ex did say i’m not like that but it still hurt me that his mates are being like that.

As they talked Peter often felt tempted to say, “and you do it too!”  He successfully refrained.  He had learned that his job was to look at what he could change, not to criticize or advise his wife.  That change proved to be one of the most potent signs to his wife that Peter was in fact behaving far more appealingly.  

Even if you don’t bring up your past relationship directly, you can remind him of the good times you shared together in subtle ways. If he complimented a particular outfit, wear it again. You could also share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it in a familiar place where you used to enjoy good times together.

Take a break from your ex-boyfriend. You may be dying to be back with your ex-boyfriend, but the worst thing you can do is hang around him incessantly, call him, or wink at him in class until he gets the picture. If you’re always around, he probably does get the picture, but it won’t be one that he likes. Instead, you should take a breather and stop hanging around him, at least for a few weeks or longer.

Instead focus your energy on trying to reestablish communication with your ex casually. This process may take a while until you can finally get back with one you love so you’ll have to be both patient and resilient.

My ex and I have been talking ever so slightly lately but nothing substantial. About a month ago I asked her in person if she was mad at me and she said yes bc of stuff I said to another person. She didn’t tell me what I said or who I said it to. Honestly I have no clue. She added how she thought it was funny how I said that we would get back together one day(she dumped me) but that I closed the door on us even being friends. She’s only 23 and I’m the only person she dated. I’m having a hard time getting her to talk to me about it. A bit afraid to ask her in person bc she’s always surrounded with her friends at work and don’t feel it’s appropriate to show up at her home. She won’t reply to a text that involves talking about why she’s upset. What do I do? What are my options here?

Wrong! In fact, just the opposite is true. Because the more you make yourself available to your suddenly ex boyfriend or girlfriend? The less they’ll actually want (or more importantly, need) to hear from you.

Women are attracted to men who they perceive to be at least a little higher than them in the social food chain (read: superior men). Another way of putting this is, women are attracted to men who have a higher Dating Market Value (DMV).

If you and your ex were in any type of serious relationship, then they will not be able to move on so quickly. In fact, no contact is only going to make them miss you more and remember the good things about you. You have to take a leap of faith over here. The alternative to no contact is being a creep and texting and stalking your ex all the time, which will probably lead to a restraining order against you. You really don’t have much of an option.

“You look amazing. You smell amazing. You look like you are doing great in your life. You look like you’ve been working out. You look happy. You look confident, sexy, fun and attractive. You look like a catch. Why did I break up with you again?” – Your Ex

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I had to end relationship up with my girlfriend (5 years living together) due the fact she found another man to entertain her and she was not willing to make the decision: me or other guy. I tried this no contact rule and she keeps calling and texting me once a day (or so). If I did not answer her contacts, she is getting very upset and sends me irritating messages (like blaming me that I can’t be trusted in serious situations). If I answer her because I assume that there was a really serious reason that she would call me, but there isn’t. If we talk about weather and general stuff, it is fine. If or conversation goes to us or our past, she gets upset and tries to end the call. Last conversation she hinted me that if I would not call her more occasionally, I would waste my opportunity. She even encouriged to call her any time.

A common mistake that people make during their relationship or right after the breakup is to put their ex on a pedestal. You either let your emotions get the best of you; love takes over and you try to profess your love to your ex by turning them into someone that you can say no too!

Hi I was with my ex for 15 years. We were going through a few problems but I knew he would never cheat on me. However he took a woman 25 years his junior. I believe it is a mid life crisis. They are still together after a year and a half. He was so hurtful too me and blamed me for everything. There are other things he has done so out of character. I still love him dearly and forgive him as I know without his problems he really would never have done this too me. We were not married but were near as anyone could be without the certificate. Have I got a chance of a new beginning with him. I can not give up if there is a chance. X

To better improve your chances at a fresh start, insist on couples therapy for both of you. “Pre-commitment therapy can help you find out the pitfalls and whether you’ve solved the old problems,” explains Tessina. She also suggests considering seeing a therapist on your own, to get expert help to decide if you’re dating for the right reasons.

I would recommend you following through with no contact to give her the time she needs to let go of any negative emotions of you and your ex. At the same time, focus on picking yourself up from the hurt you feel because she’s not going to come back into your life if you’re an emotional mess. Work on yourself and after following the no contact rule, if the decision to win her back remains the same, you could initiate contact once more with her.