We lived together only once before this last time, you see his mom was diagnosed with a rare cancer and he and his sister basically did it all(their dad just couldn’t handle it emtionally, I guess. I even helped with cleanings) she died slowly and painfully in the house. While his sister lived down the street with her husband he and his dad stayed there and then I moved in. It wasn’t ideal only in the sense of living under the same roof his mom died and it wasn’t our home, but I didn’t want to say anything cause she was his rock. We had our ups and downs we didn’t necessarily fight (rarely raised our voices)more like bickered and yes I nagged:/
One of the things that I learnt is that if you want to attract back someone you love, it’s not about them, it’s about you. If you want to attract love you need to vibrate love, start by loving yourself! So every morning when I rose and every evening when I went to sleep I would stand in front of the mirror and tell myself how much I love myself. It sounds silly but it’s not . It really makes you appreciate yourself. I also listed all the positive things about myself. I would also affirm that me and my boyfriend were back together.
This might sound like the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard, especially if you’re in the depths of your break up, but hear me out. A change in perspective has the ability to move mountains. What if you could just think about what you’ve learned from this experience? You might be thinking, “Well, I learned that he’s a major asshole”, and that’s fine, but I want you to focus on YOU. What did you learn about you? What did you learn about relationships? About what you will and will not tolerate? What do you need to own? If all you can come up with are not-so-nice things about yourself, follow up each of those “learnings” with, “Is that really true?” For example, if you think that what you learned is that you’re just bad at relationships, challenge that with, “Am I 100% sure that is true?” My point it to think critically about the experience and take from it what you can do to become a better you.
There were a few problems in the past. He’s very sensitive and when he gets stressed he can’t handle much emotion. Because of this, he “broke up” with me in the past. It wasn’t really a break up, he kind of just stopped talking to me. It only took one or two days for him to reach out. He said that he was so sorry and that he was so devastated when he didn’t talk to me. He said that he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and the “break up” made him sick. I thought that this time was going to be like those in the past but after a few days he was still being cold. It’s been about two and a half weeks now since he broke up with me and a week since the last time we talked.
How you view yourself, how you feel about yourself and the conversation you’re having inside your head about you, is a million times more important than any outside relationship. I don’t care who this guy is and how much you love him. YOUR love for yourself trumps him. Always.
Sadly my 7year relationship ended almost a year ago now nd I still miss him daily. I’ve tried moving on with someone else and can’t even bring myself to say I love you in return. I still wish we could reconcile but it seems like he’s completely replaced me. I don’t know what to do …
As you read this article, you are creating your future reality. Even in your sleep, you create your reality because your subconscious mind never sleeps. Your subconscious is what’s responsible for actualizing in your physical reality all your stored beliefs that you acquired in your lifetime.
Your not wanting to hurt his feelings is hurting him more in the long run. I suspect you just don’t want to be the “bad guy” in this, but your making it more difficult on the both of you. Tell him that you would like to go on a hiatus on your friendship together. Maybe you don’t realize it but your stringing him along by leaving the “friendship door” open. Out of sight. Out of mind. You can’t be friends right now (do not tell him that either or you’ll just be leading him on). Really imho you do not need to be friends at all, b/c you’ve crossed that barrier/line and there is no going back. I’ve been on both sides of it, right now I’m speaking to you from your boyfriends perspective. I’m him 10 years from now. He’ll want you while he wants you and than when he doesn’t anymore he’ll probably dislike your, strongly. Let go now, so he can. Best of luck.
If you always wonder and worry that they have already moved on, you are right: they already moved on. If you don’t believe that you’ll get back together, well, guess what? The Universal Mind says, your wish is my command.
Reconnect With Your Friends – Couples often become isolated with their friends once they get into serious relationship. This is the perfect time to spend good time with your friends. Try to renew your friendship with them but avoid talking about your breakup with them especially if they are mutual friends.
Laziness is why most relationships fail, and that’s what happens when people take each other for granted. Don’t be one of those couples. Take initiative if he doesn’t, you can totally do it! I believe in you.
Let’s be honest here, people say stupid and cruel things when they’re hurting out of spite (especially pubescent teenage boys). This sounds exactly like what your ex has been doing since he has essentially been ‘rejected’ by you. Just remember that no matter what he says doesn’t matter and he probably doesn’t mean it he’s just saying it out of hurt and anger, so don’t let his words bring you down just because he’s got a butt hurt (maybe try taking the fact that he’s using his energy to talk about you and that you are spicy & desirable enough to be a heartbreaker as a compliment). But perhaps reconsider or re-evaluate your relationships with those specific friends. You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good & love and support you just as you would to them – these friends don’t sound like that right now. Flirting isn’t technically cheating (but that’s just my opinion) but your ex and your friends Overstepped that fine line, which is pretty disrespectful since both parties should be more considerate of how their actions make others feel E.G. betrayed and disrespected. The best thing to do with your friends is to clear the air once and for all (maybe even set boundaries for each of you for when either of you get into new relationships as not to repeat the past) and then move on from it all (no grudges that give girls the catty drama stereotype please ? instead take the high road because you’re too good for all that crap. For now give your ex a wide birth (aka no speaking) to allow both of you to heal so then you can both be civilised friends like you wanted originally. I know it’s a pain when you see your ex at school but try to avoid them at all costs – out of sight out of mind right? However if I’m totally honest though… screw your ex! He is a selfish immature tool who doesn’t respect other people’s lives or feelings. He clearly didn’t give you the respect you deserved by flirting with your friends, regardless of who started what or who said this that and the other. Let him grow up because right now he isn’t worth your time or breath. Give yourself a set time e.g 2 days to be as upset about the situation as you want, then afterwards push all thoughts of him & any backlash this has had on you or your friends to the back of your mind. Stay active, be happy and focus on the positive sides of things. You’ve got the motivation to better yourself and grow as a person so please take it because you being happy and not allowing anything he says or does from then on is the best revenge you could get on him (also makes him regret not having you around ? ) This will take time but you’ll come out of it 10 times better in the end plus he may end up crawling back to you to give you your much deserved apology for his total disregard of your feelings x
better for your criminal record than slashing your ex’s tires when you see his or her car parked outside a new date’s place. The pluses are plenty: Going to the gym fills the time you would otherwise spend sulking at home, exercise releases chemicals that will actually help you feel less depressed, and you’ll boost your confidence because you’ll find yourself looking hot to trot.