Hi ive been dating my partner for 6 months now. Everything was going perfect for us both.she fell pregnant and i proposed and we got engaged what we both wanted we were both so happy.she decided to have an abortion due to we both wernt financially stable and didnt plan the pregnancy.its was an emotional time for both of us individually. I unfortunately didnt show her support or comfort her during this life changing experience and i made a regretful unmeanful decision and broke up with her.we have been separated for 2 months now and we meet up a month ago caught up for 2 days she mentioned her feelings we still there altho she doesnt want any comments on a relationship at this stage. Until i become more stable and fix some issues i have in my life.I have acknowledged my behavior as i was expressing my hurt emotions and feelings towards her and i begged alittle and didny get me anywhere.. she isnt respondingto my messages or call I’ve respect our situation and havnt its been bit over 2 weeks ive made no contact,until Christmas day i wished her a merry Christmas i didnt get a reply. Im making positive changes in my life and improving my issues. I need some professional guidance and advice aswell as steps to reconnect with my ex.. I sincerely appreciate your understanding and support. Regards Theo
b. Appearing to treat his wife as a second-rate citizen by ignoring her much of the time and by disagreeing with whatever she would say when they did talk. His kindly telephone conversations, by contrast, with his ex-wife added fuel to her fire.
He is a musician, always playing music, spends a lot of time alone or with family. He’s introverted with a ton of hobbies and creative projects and he’s also a gamer. He’s completely different than any man I’ve ever dated, and I just don’t know what to do.
Once you’re set and committed and know you want him back and that he truly deserves you back, and both of your lives are much more enriched because of the relationship, then there is nothing at all that should hold you back. You really, really, really can win him back no matter how bad things might seem.
Now that we diagnosed why your break up happened, you’re going to need to begin a No Contact Period. This applies regardless of whether you’re Category A, B or C, but since 95% of readers will be Category A, from this point on I’ll be proceeding under the assumption that you are Category A.
Thank you Amor for replying back, I will follow your advice on how to look when I see his mother. The thing that is eating me alive is how quickly he moved onto this other girl. I know our last month of the relationship was ugly but it shouldn’t justify our entire 3 years together. For him to be with this girl either immediately or within a month of the break up which is when he started school near his home and 4-5 months later he’s still with her. Would you even consider that a rebound anymore? A friend of mine told me that she resembles me (though I don’t see it at all). I’m upset he lied to me assuring me there’s no one else, he cares to focus on bettering himself and school, yet there she is. A while back we talked about what would happened if he ever were to break up he said I’m like his best friend I know so much about him that we have history together he wouldn’t want me out of his life. Yet he did. No way to contact him now since he still has me blocked on all platforms and he returned Sprint the phone he had on my plan 2 weeks ago therefore recycling the number as well. Last message I sent to him was me being upset he still didn’t return my things I’ve been patiently and politely asking for, saying I don’t even know what type of person he is anymore but he’s not one I want to associate with if he’s being so cold and he said “cool, don’t try to contact me again” then blocked me again and removed himself from my phone plan few days later. See, what is your intake on this?
It is important to take time after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back to examine your own emotions and decide if you truly should be with that person. Rekindled relationships often suffer from a lack of trust and can be more likely to cycle on-again-off-again with repeated breakups. If you’re not 100% sure that you want to be with this person in the long-term, avoid further pain by doing your best to get over your ex instead of pursuing him or her again.
You first need to develop clarity regarding the situation that led to your breakup in the first place. To fully understand the breakup, there are several key questions you’ll need to answer yourself, such as:
When someone treats you poorly or does something hurtful, it is a natural and healthy response to feel some anger. Anger helps you be aware of situations that are not in your best interest and can facilitate the separation process from an unhealthy relationship. But when we hold on to anger and resentment from past experiences we take them with us into the future. Nothing hurts more than when someone you love does something that causes you to reevaluate who you believed them to be. When someone betrays the trust you gave, it is painful. But letting what someone else did limit your ability to move forward means they still exert control over your life. Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone else off the hook for his or her bad behavior; it is about your emotional freedom.
It comes right after begging and pleading; accepting everything while throwing your self-worth away in the trashcan (aka Doormat Syndrome). You agree everything your ex wants without even considering your happiness.
This is not only for the sake of enjoyment but to make sure that the boyfriend you had known you are not sad or gloomy. You are not thinking about him like a dog who follows his owner. You are not greedy nor you are over tempted to have him. Rather you are now free to do whatever you wanted to do for the last couple of years.
You can’t blame your love for this whole thing. You cannot blame your circumstances for this. You cannot blame time or distance for this. In fact, if time and distance are an issue in your relationship, that’s because you THOUGHT and BELIEVED that they are an issue.
I know it’s hard, but try to stop thinking about him. Distract yourself by doing things you love! Eventually, you’ll realise that you can have plenty of fun without him, and you might realise why you broke up in the first place – and why it was probably a good thing!
One of the most difficult parts of being in love is having that love end on you. You cry, you feel shattered, and you feel like things will never be okay in the world again. Let me be honest with you here, ladies. I’m thirty six years old. I’ve been in love three times in my life and have cared about plenty of boyfriends. There are times when I feel like after being hurt so deeply or so often I’ll never find love again. Sometimes, I even wonder if there’s something wrong with me that I haven’t found love like everyone else.
Comfort yourself, treat yourself, in this moment you are fragile, protect your heart. Get a good night’s sleep, cry all the tears you need to, watch a movie, call a friend, breathe and tell yourself it will be okay, I swear it will be.
Write down one most important activity you always wanted to do before having a relationship with your ex-boyfriend. Jogging in the park, cycling for many hours alone, swimming in the sea or taking care of your garden are some of the hobbies that I recommend as they distract you and also keep you healthy.
I was a ding dong one night. I had taken my sleeping pills and gone to bed. These are doctor prescribed and I typically would go to bed maybe hit the phone for a text to whoever but I wasn’t driving anywhere. A couple times I would drift into a dream while actively talking to somebody so they would say. I don’t remember though. One night in particular we had a disagreement about something and I went to bed. I got woken up but not fully. During this I messaged mean stuff about my now ex to her kids father.… Read more »
Of course, trying to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back the wrong way doesn’t have to be so dramatic. Simply emailing him two weeks after the breakup to ask if he has your electric toothbrush can be enough to sway things out of your favor.
A “breakover” shouldn’t mean going from mermaid-like locks to a super short pixie cut. You’re emotions are out of whack right now, so you might regret a drastic change later. But altering your look a littleby getting subtle highlights, or painting your nails a bold shade if you usually stick to neutralscan make you feel refreshed, suggests Miller.
Now, after almost half a decade of researching and helping the visitors to this site I have come up with a pretty clever acronym to describe someone who goes a little crazy when it comes to texting their ex.
Think about these questions. Don’t be too critical of either him or yourself. All this emotional bullshit, arguing and blaming each other for crap is one of the reasons you might have broken up in the first place.
Write down goals. Make a list of realistic steps and a timeline to help you focus on anything but your break up and your ex. A sense of accomplishment will boost your self-esteem and remind you of your worth. Working hard towards something for the future will mean you’re less focused on the day-to-day and more determined on the overall big picture.
Love stinks. You’re miserable when you’re not in love and you’re even more miserable when you’re still in love with someone who no longer loves you. I know; I’ve been there. For me, I find that once I give my heart to a man it really takes a lot for me to get over him, probably because it took me so long to give my heart out in the first place.
However if you dumped her but you’ve realized you made a huge mistake, and now you want her back, see my article on that topic in the “blog” section of this website, because all steps on this page show how to get your ex back if it’s the girl who ended it.
I’ve been divorced for 4 years and have not dated anyone until recently. From my readings and research, I believe him to be a narcissistic sociopath… I’ve lived through the 3 phases …lovebombing, devaluation, and the discard. In the beginning, he treated me like a queen…every move he made was for my benefit…. He made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world…told me he had never met anyone like me….after a month of that, Dr. Jekyll turned into Mr. Hyde….he criticized me constantly…cursed me…yelled at me…verbally and emotionally abused me….gave me the silent treatment…even spent a weekend with his former girlfriend….compared me to her. He would say he was through…then come back a few days later….when the final discard happened…it came out of nowhere… He just stopped talking to me. Now he has another girlfriend. As I write this, I think…what a jerk…why do you want to be with him? But the more I try to stop thinking about him, the more I do….. I miss him. My head says run for the hills…my heart says beg him back. I’ve gone no contact simply to protect myself from further pain…I used to judge women who lived in abusive situations like this….now I understand why they don’t leave.
Your first problem is that through your internal, OCD, one-track, incessant hamster wheel thoughts (and it doesn’t matter if no one knows what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always seep out into your actions) and through your actions, you are essentially begging for him back. You have to take a step back, take a breath and vow to put an end to the crazy, an END to the insanity. No one likes crazy and it looks pathetic, desperate and awful on anyone that tries it on. Begging for him back is the worst approach possible. Men, no matter what they may claim, are very territorial. Men want what they can’t have. He may scream from the rooftops that he doesn’t want you and never wants to see you again and he may even really think that he doesn’t want you but I can assure you, he won’t sleep well at night wondering why it is that suddenly you appear to not give a flying F*CK and why it is you’ve gone from Desperate Debby to #IDFWU please-forget-my-name Patty.
Making him work for your attention will make him respect you all the more if and when you do get back together. The first steps to take is to learn how to make your ex miss you. Once you have achieved that you have already started him reaching for a re-connection with you.