Now, there are two ways that you can contact your ex. One is through a letter or email, and the other one is through text messages. You can also call your ex but I recommend you first build up some attraction using text messages and letter before calling them.

Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, “Sure!” In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.

Some people try to be there for their ex. They walk their dog, they show up at their door with some gifts, and other things. This hinders your value, and makes them wish you were gone. Aside from cutting off communication, it’s imperative that you are not visible. You cannot be seen by her, by your own doing. This will create value, as absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ll force her to think about you, and will not let her have control, you’ll be in control.

Her name is Katie, and we met while working for our college’s LGBTQ magazine. Katie was a journalism major who dreamed of giving marginalized communities a voice, so she signed up as an editor. I, a physics and English major who wanted to try my hand at journalism, became her writer. After a few months of 4-hour “meetings” during which we talked about Carl Sagan, coming out, first lady-crushes, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (and also, you know, my writing) it was pretty clear that my feelings for Katie were more than friendly.

One really useful thing is to find a project, especially one that helps others. This can be anything from volunteering at a soup kitchen to writing the next Great American Novel to training dogs. The idea is to get your attention off yourself and your feelings and onto the wider world.

she left me in 2011 and came back to me in 2012 afta i have callin her and not answering my calls for a year then she left again for a year 2013 around march and came back to me this year 2014…she started calling me on the 28 of february this year and i was shocked and confused about that.but at my point of view she was heartly brokened with the partner she was dating after me.we get back together but she told me we dont have to make love and i agreed but i forced her.now she is telling me she want a breakup coz im cheating but she doesnt have any proof.i loved her and i still love her.so i dont know what to do.i need your help guys..i think she is gona leave again coz im trusting her..but i said i dont want a breakup…thanks for your help guys.

Writing down his painful feelings helped to free Peter from continuously thinking of them. Writing and then talking with his therapist about his thoughts enabled him to let go of beating himself up in anger and also of drowning himself in self-pity.

Quick Note: If you’re serious about getting your ex back, then I would highly recommend you watch this video to the end. Although the tips below work, this video has advanced techniques that a friend of mine developed which apparently work like CRAZY.

No Contact is a powerful technique. If you follow it correctly as I mentioned then chances are you will get a call from your ex-girlfriend. Many of my students utilize this method, and many of them received a call from their ex-girlfriends. No Contact forces your ex to realize your value.

Consider counseling. Particularly if you were married or in a very serious relationship and want to continue in a serious relationship, you are likely to need couples therapy in order to discover the root of your problems and ensure that you can overcome them.

Sooo, I reconnected with a girl I knew a couple of decades ago. I had a huge crush on her but both of us were married. I’m not now and spent a lot of time on self improvement, which she gravitated towards as she works her way out of another marriage. After about three months of platonic self help counseling we caved…it was intense for about two months; she started working with a counselor to save the marriage/amicably divorce and suggested I pursue other women for awhile. I backed off, maintaining contact via text/cell about every 3 days; not too heavy subjectwise. Made the mistake of telling her I was doing great without her. After that she shut off contact, and responded to my attempts with a hostile voicemail telling me to stop all contact. I went into no contact mode for two weeks, sent a couple of happy holiday texts, then wrote the no contact letter. A week later her husband comes up and introduces himself, tells me he’s in the middle of his divorce and she’s eligible now but has a boyfriend. I reach out for confirmation and to give her a heads up and ask for a meet and am given a letter with all the nevers (never want to talk to you, never want to see you, never be friends, etc) and threatening to go to the cops over stalking. I know I should cut and run but we got so close in those early months…I don’t want to give that up. I also don’t her throwing the stalking card out to everyone…most of all…don’t want the anger, nor do I understand it. How do I turn this around to platonic at the least and repair it to a couple at best? Yeah I called texted lettered about 20 times in 80 days and maybe drove by her house twice but STALKING? I never raised my voice to this woman.

Hey Ryan! So we have continued texting after the last time I told you about (the phone call where he said he felt pressured and another time to catch up since I was going away) I text him saying I was going away and he said have a lovely trip and take some piccies(photos). He said he had a nice Xmas but is a little sunburnt. I text him a photo a few days later while I was away and he replied in 1 minute saying omg that looks amazing where are u? I didn’t reply and he then sent me a message on 1st of January saying happy new year I replied later that day saying hey! Just watched a house of cards, reminded me of you, made me smile! He replied within 2 minutes saying 🙂 too hungover to physically smile but that’s a nice thought! I had a bad experience where someone tried to break in my house so I called him early that morning then I realised I shouldn’t have done that so I sent a text saying just an update I’m safe now, at my friends place. He then replied saying glad you’re safe, you are better off calling the police if you feel unsafe. Then later that day I text him saying I’m still feeling a bit shaken by it would you be up for a phone call, he replied saying sorry I don’t feel like talking in the phone at the moment but don’t let this dampen your new year, there are plenty of jerk guys in the world, just be you and love it! I replied saying I understand and did u have a good day he replied yeah, did a lot of furniture moving and sent me a photo of what he had changed in his room. After that it was his birthday so I sent a message saying happy birthday! He replied within the hour saying 🙂 thanks lady! I didn’t reply and have started no contact as I feel when i am a bit distant he replies instantly kind of thing. I was thinking to continue no contact until around the 16th of January which would mean I haven’t texted him since the 4th of January. In my text on the 16th of January I was planning to say if he’s free to catch up for a quick cuppa sometime this week? I don’t want to do the wrong thing since I have asked before, but he is a big introvert and he rarely ever asks anyone to catch-up even friends/family. They usually ask him. My only fear is that he has said yes he’d like to catch up but wants to find his own feet first, he said this in December though. What would u recommend?

Hello, Happy New Years! I’m a little nervous. Just held out for a party and was checking my snaps and noticed my ex who I am actively trying to get back is out at a party. Noticed a mutual female friend had similar snaps and realized my ex is at our mutual friends house. The mutual friend has a brother who I know is attracted to my ex and my ex is attracted to him too. My ex is 23 and the guy is only 16 or 17 but I’ve seen them flirt since we broke up and I have a feeling if he was older she’d be open to the idea of going out with him, but nervous there’s going to be flirting that might end in a kiss at midnight or further feelings developing. I know there’s nothing I can do to prevent that, but please advise how I can process the possibility and if something was to happen, which I would probably not find out about. How do I keep my cool moving forward? We have been broken up for a few months now with minimal contact. Please advise.

2nd Step: Now delete her from all messaging service such as WhatsApp, Viber etc. The only exception is don’t delete her from your Facebook but don’t view her profile. You can also temporary shutdown notification from her in your Facebook profile.

I have come to find out the man she replaced me with is her boss (46-2 kids, previously married)…which I am crushed by. In a way Im glad its not the hot guy at the bar I would compare myself to and wonder what he does better than me. I know her boss has money, has known for her for a year and probably knows where my support lacked and where she needed more. He’s not attractive in my or my friends eyes but this really breaks my heart.

Accept the break up and move on. If none of the steps above have worked for you, and/or if you have assessed the situation and decided it is not healthy or wise to continue trying to get your ex back, be sure that you take time for yourself emotionally to recover from your broken heart.

Prepare your words. The first thing that you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get them back. You need to understand that even though you’re not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings for you.