So then I see a picture on insta of him & that girl & messaged him finding out they started dating less than a week after our last fight because “they just clicked” & right after finals he went to her house out of state & met her parents (she is rich & apparently has her own house). He said they really like each other but don’t love each other yet & isn’t even thinking about marriage. I told him it didn’t make sense why he’s with her & he said he had a change of heart/things happened fast. We had an ugly fight after that because I was so angry, it was the worst one & he said that’s why he left me. I made a lot of mistakes, really seeming needy but he’s blocked me on everything telling me he really likes her & I need to respect that. I said I did & just wanted to talk/be friends (which he said too) but he’s blocked me. I think it’s a rebound but he broke up with a girl like a month before meeting me & he says he completely shuts out exes. It doesn’t seem like they match but that he really likes her. I don’t know what to do but just really want him back since I’m committed to him but I feel like the more they’re together, they’ll fall in love & I’ve already made myself look like a fool. Help!
Keep in mind that your breakup didn’t happen just because you did something wrong or you said something wrong or you were not prettier enough to be with your ex or you gave too much to your ex for too little efforts.
And like I said many times you have done nothing wrong. Having ambition to achieve your goals does not make you seem like you’re in your own bubble in fact it’s one of the things I like most about you. It shows much determination and that’s an attractive quality. And you have it wrong in the sense you would have always achieved what you have already, having someone to share it with is the bonus. Just remember your life started without me, your dreams were there before me, everything in your life was there before me. You had it all to begin with and it was complete, I’m just an add on/an option if you will but with out me you are still complete.
Well…I was in a long distance relationship. My ex and I were together for about a year, but in those twelve months we broke up about twelve times. But the relationship ending horribly was my fault, I told her I’d come see her and that I’d pay for her to get here to see me sometime, but I was too scared of what she’d think of me..among other personal things. All I want is a family with her because honestly she is perfect for me and I…was perfect for her. I might as well be honest, gaming took over my life and because of that I hardly ever go out or do anything. It also made me angry all the time and now I’m trying to change everything. I cry day in day out thinking that I’ll never have a family with the girl I love, she still loves me but isn’t ready to be with me and I’m not ready either but I’m willing to change for myself and for her. Most people would say that I’m too young to be thinking about having a family and whatever but it’s my life. Please if you can, help me figure out what I’m doing wrong and what I need to do. I’m going to die young so I have to live fast, this is true, I’m not attention seeking, I’m not like that. But anyway I really need to change and get her back, I want a life. Please help.
Make a game plan for addressing the problem. Before you can make a move and start talking to your ex again, you have to think of a way to address the problem. Once you’ve figured out what it was, you can think about all the things you can do to fix it. If it’s relatively simple, then great, but be aware that some problems take a long time to fix.
What should I need to do ? I am on day 8 of no contact it’s really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due to long distance tho we’ve been seeing each other in webcam. We had some argument he keeps telling we are going to see each other in person but he never make plan. I find out Jan 1st this year he traveled to Dubai to spend vacation with Indonesian girl.(before that incident I caught him sexting with that girl, that Indonesian lady asking him to send her a porn he said they haven’t see each other yet and the girl was virgin he said it was nothing ugh I’m so stupid to believe)
Hi Ryan, just a little update. Yesterday towards the end of work shift my ex talked. Wasn’t my choice and was kind hard to avoid. She asked me to return a couple shirts of her ( shirts she only asked about when we broke up) I returned a couple shirts to her, only ones I could find. yesterday she insisted I had one more shirt and ask when could she have it or if I was keeping for memories. It was like she wanted to make small talk. I simply said I has not seen any more shirt and she became upset. tried to even argue with me about it. I was calm and cool the whole time. She said ” smh, some things never change” I didn’t understand why she was making a big deal out of nothing. anyways she ended being upset with me again for nothing. I feel like ive changed a lot. I kept cool and tried not to argue. I could tell she missed me and may have even been upset because I have not been contacting her at all. Not sure why it went left so quick. Help!
Consider counseling. Particularly if you were married or in a very serious relationship and want to continue in a serious relationship, you are likely to need couples therapy in order to discover the root of your problems and ensure that you can overcome them.
thank you! i agree, but he keeps saying he needs time and space and as of right now, he thinks too much has happened between us that can’t be erased. i was going through a hard time and that negativity may have brought him down, but he never told me how he felt until he ended things so i never had the chance to fix that. i’m hoping giving him this time and space he wants will make him realize it, but do you think it may just be too far gone in his mind? i really want a second chance since now i know what his problems with me were, i see how easily fixable they are. i just don’t know how to show him that!
more worse is that she is saying u r abusing me hacked my facebook account and irritating my sister. i had done everything to get her back but she is totally ignoring me. i feel that i m nothing without her and always cry for her, just a glance of her is enough for me to be happy.
I decided to chime in here quickly, according to Kris S the girl did not really “cheat” on him but rather “messed” with fellow guy he didn’t like, AFTER the break-up. That act he considered unloyal and therefore he’s feeling not respected. In this case, I would consider this as a rebound relationship in order to get over the relationship with you, Kris S, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Eventually she’s free to do what she wants apfter the break-up and it has nothing to do with you but with her.
If one or more of those situations describes you, then you might have a shot at making things work a second time. Sometimes a breakup is what a couple needs to refocus their priorities and realize that they truly love each other. However, in the days and weeks after a breakup, it’s normal to miss your ex — that doesn’t mean you should try to initiate getting back together. Wait until you have a little bit of time to think rationally about the situation; don’t simply send them a drunk text around midnight insisting that it was all a mistake.
Love should never hurt it should be the one thing thst makes you happy. If she is talking down to you for no apparent reason then she is not the one for you. If she can’t see thst you are in her corner and love her unconditional then it’s time to move on. Wasting time is not a good look especially when yoy are young. I thought thst i could not get over my ex but I am living and making the best of the situation everyday.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it’s with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
Follow the simple steps and instructions in the upcoming blog posts that I have on this blog. And do the Advanced Healing Process Assignments that I have coming along in my Ex Back Advanced System here for you.
Play hard to get. That’s right. Just when you think you’re about to get your girl back, just when she’s finally realizing what an amazing catch you were, is not the time to declare your love. Instead, throw her a curve ball by making her see that she still has to fight for your affection instead of just falling into your arms. As you start to hang out more and more, make sure to not always be available.
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#2 Why did she dump you? You need to figure out what went wrong. Trust me, she told you, probably a thousand times, but you didn’t listen. So, go back into your memory and try to remember why you two always fought. That’s the reason you’re single.
That hasn’t proven true so far, which may be because, generally speaking, exes staying friends isn’t that strange of a concept for queer women. As a writer named Phoenix wrote for Autostraddle in 2012, plenty of gay women break up, spend some time apart, and then later rekindle their friendship. This is how it goes:
HER REPLY: “I’m so sorry Ivan, from the bottom of my heart. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But that’s exactly what I’m doing if I stay with you. It’s also what I’m doing to myself. I have been constantly thinking about our relationship and my feelings for longer than you realise. It’s been tearing me apart. I feel guilty for staying with you when I know I’m not reciprocating the same feelings back to you. But then I feel guilty for leaving you knowing your feelings, and not too mention that I truly care for you and don’t want to hurt you. Then there is my side and my feelings, how can I stay with someone I don’t love like that. I want to love like that, I want those feelings you have, I want to be happy too. I don’t want to go on hoping my parter cheats on me so I have some sort of valid excuse.
If you’re in the latter camp, and your girlfriend has said things like, “I’m not sure what I want anymore,” or “I just need some time by myself to figure things out,” she’s likely questioning her own feelings, not yours. The appropriate (and most effective) response here is to tell her you understand her feelings, rather than try to talk her out of them.
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I’ve rarely seen a marital split where both parties aren’t equally responsible, in their own ways. That said, because of the way our society looks at sex, when there’s an affair, all the blame seems to fall on the active affair partner. We have not come so far from The Scarlet Letter.
One of the most important aspects to getting your ex girlfriend back is becoming the alpha male (more on that later.) For now, what I would like to focus our attention on are the qualities that you need to obtain in order to become an alpha male.
My GF (we are both 24) of 11 months broke up with me 4 days ago saying she needed a 2 weeks of no contact and maybe we can be friend and we will see what happens after. She was crying her eyes out as she did it saying that she loved me but she feels like we value different things and she doesn’t trust me to tell her things (because I have a hard time opening up and talking about my problems at work etc. and sometimes i focused on her being my only place of happiness (don’t like my career direction, job). I am working my butt off in these 2 weeks to be a better guy and love myself (been hitting the gym hard, got a trainer and applying to law school to change what im doing) but I really believe this is the girl I want to marry and cannot picture living without her. She said she still loves me and while breaking up i could still make her smile when i made a joke to get her to stop crying. Any suggestions how I should proceed in these weeks/ after the 2 weeks?
Recall who between you initiated the break-up – If it was you, then assess whether you did it after carefully thinking about it or just because you are overwhelmed with anger. If it was your ex-girlfriend, recall if she had specific reasons why she initiated it. The same goes if the break-up was a mutual decision. Dig deeper why the two of you decided to break up in the first place.
There are also millions of women abusers and millions men victims that suffer in silence. So this post was great until the discriminative last sentence about million of abused women. Many man just dont speak about terrible repeated abuses, because man must be strong , man has to stand up…man men resist, hold on and bear abuses while women are very prone to scream and ask help at first one.
A “pull” is what the other person does in response to the push. A “pull” is a loss of interest or a display of indifference. It can be anything from them saying “I need more space” to completely leaving you. Usually the less interested person is doing all the “pulling.”
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.