A girl with any degree of DMV (Dating Market Value) will start to think of a guy (even a boyfriend) who regularly compliments her, as a fan boy. Do hot female celebs date their fans? Hell no! They date other celebs who have a DMV as high as, or higher than, their own.
2. You also need some space and time. You need to get a hold of yourself and gain some perspective. The fact is, you are a mess after the breakup. And you need to calm down and analyze your relationship thoroughly to realize whether or not being with your ex is in your best interest. It could be that you are just missing your ex. You need to learn to enjoy your life without your ex. You need to prove to yourself that you can be happy without your ex. You will eventually realize that you DON’T NEED YOUR EX to be happy. Maybe you’ll still WANT them, but there is a big difference between needing something and wanting something.
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Giving him space conveys the exact opposite message: you’re not waiting for him to change his mind and you’re moving on with your life. This is a message that compels him to action: if he’s threatened with the possibility of losing you forever, he may rethink the permanence of your breakup.
This is a very poignant and balanced understanding that you have expressed here. I am 7 months out of 10 year relationship which was both lovely and tumultuous. We were connected on very deep level…a level i never experienced before. We built and created so many things we loved together…things I have a hard time holding close or having as part of me now because they are still too painful or not the same without her. We had a lot of turmoil through our time together driven by each of our own early development damage…and that damage manifested in different ways for each of us. Some times we could hold each other in our damage and what we needed to learn from ourselves and each other, and other times we hurt each other. I think she in many ways loved more fearlessly than I did, but I’m beginning to see how much fear played(s) a role in each of our lives and our life together. She feared not being loved and I feared loving and what I had to lose not gain from really loving and giving love. But I know I learned to love with less fear through being with her…I wasnt always successful but I turned some big corners in what I am able to give and how much I actually embraced loving someone…that it wasnt taking away from me nor a weakness. The worst one can do is to see the time spent with that person as a waste…if we learn it is never a waste…it may hurt like crazy, maybe it will always hurt somehow…but its never a waste if we grow and learn. I know we both learned a lot and there was both pain and beauty in our time together. If there is a next time I know I will love differently and yes I think better…and it will be because of what I learned from 10 years with Melanie…there was a gift in it that I can choose to recognise or not. Only she can decide or see what gift she received. I think for the most part we are both honoring the gifts we gave and received. I know I, at least (although she she says she does too) still grieve immensely our partnership in life…the beautiful things we connected on and built as only the two of us could have built…the dreams we shared together. Those things belong to us and nobody else…they cant be recreated nor should they be…and it hurts terribly at times to have them only as memories. These things, which I mourn the loss of can however play a positive role in how I love in the future, what I embrace and am open to and enthusiastic about giving. I also try to be realistic and not in denial of the turmoil and the things that weren’t great with us…that were outright painful and hurtful…I don’t miss that, and its sometimes easy to forget the struggles and hurt. In the end we were only doing the best we could with who we were at any given time, and shame, blame or regret does not honor the gifts we gave each other…nor does getting stuck in sentimental attachment. Easier said than done?….of course all of this is. But what choice do we have…we either honor the gifts and the lessons and grow or we get stuck and have to learn them all over again. I know what I choose, or at least am trying to choose…even if it hurts and I feel lost and scared. There is no doubt I miss her like I could have never imagined missing anything or anyone….it’s just how it is right now. She was my Otter and there will never be another…she and what we connected on and built cannot be replaced but I am living breathing proof that we can find new lovely things to build and connect on with someone else if we don’t get stuck and choose love over fear.
No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr. Lametu is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, and after much “cajoling,” she (my co-worker) got me to visit this website. It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than TWO DAYS later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, on the road to recovery! Love and Many Blessings Back to You! Ancientfathersandmothers@gmail.com
Very inspirational post. I think it is the most toughest time of life when you love someone from the depth of your heart and he/she cheats you and left by any reason. I totally agree here, moving on is necessary and you have done great job by sharing this motivational post.i think this is the best advice. Cut off contact is is best option to move on. Tindiquotes.com.
Those who’s love is relatively intact, will love and once that connection is made, it cannot break. While those who have experienced a great deal of developmental fear at the hands of their first emotional attachment are dominated by fear. Love can never truly be allowed dominance and no true attachment will ever be possible while that fear is allowed to rule, for love itself is perceived as a threat by fear and it is blocked from ever growing.
Before you try to win your ex back, work on fixing any bad habits you have or mistakes you made that caused you to break up in the first place. Then, ask your ex to hang out as friends and take the opportunity to show them how you’ve changed for the better. Laugh, smile, and be positive when you’re around them. Wait until you’ve developed a friendship again before having a serious conversation with your ex about getting back together. For more help getting back with your ex, like what to do if they’re in a new relationship, read on!
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says “I’m no longer in love with you”), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other’s eyes and then answer personal questions (like “What is your biggest fear?” and “What is your best memory from childhood?”). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex’s eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
Not out of spite, mind. And this isn’t the same as blanking them! Because you mustn’t do that. I’m talking about a deliberate effort to avoid them, but if you DO cross paths, you should be polite and brief. And move on.
Compounding all this is the isolation we might feel, particularly if we have exhausted the patience of friends and families. After all, they have supported us through the relationship’s difficulties and the break-up. Following a prescribed period of mourning, they expect us to move on.
I’ve been having a hard time getting over and stop thinking of my ex. We’ve had a rough break up however it ended in a fake nice way. It’s been 3 months now however it feels like it was just yesterday. We’ve dated in total of 8 months. Before we’ve dated he was dating his ex fiancé, a relationship that lasted 3 years. After 3 months of his ex fiancé breaking up with him, he start dating me. Making me realize that I might have been a rebound. Most of our problems involved his ex fiance. Which makes me believe, that is his baggage. Currently he is dating someone else.
We lived together only once before this last time, you see his mom was diagnosed with a rare cancer and he and his sister basically did it all(their dad just couldn’t handle it emtionally, I guess. I even helped with cleanings) she died slowly and painfully in the house. While his sister lived down the street with her husband he and his dad stayed there and then I moved in. It wasn’t ideal only in the sense of living under the same roof his mom died and it wasn’t our home, but I didn’t want to say anything cause she was his rock. We had our ups and downs we didn’t necessarily fight (rarely raised our voices)more like bickered and yes I nagged:/
Post pictures on social media of your life. Take a selfie while on a hike, post a picture while out with friends, and get someone to take a picture of you doing something you’ve never done before. When your ex sees these pictures, he will know you are living your life without him, and be jealous that you are still happy and doing awesome things.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
That’s perfectly okay, by the way, just saying. Some things you could do is reevaluate your relationship with them, and try to see if breaking up with them was the right choice. Or you could talk to them again, just like a friend, and see if that helps.
The truth about people is that everyone is always going to do whatever they want to do, so it’s in your best interest to surround yourself with people who do what you want without any effort on your part.
My previous relationship has been the most difficult thing to get over. Its been 3 yrs since we broke up. I’m better but not healed. I’ve blocked any other man from getting close to me. I feel hopeless. I’m not doing anything productive in my life. All I do is busy myself with work but I’m not living. I’m merely existing. Barely .
Over the months or years, both of you may have exchanged a lot of gifts or little memorabilia. Lock them all away and don’t spend hours holding and caressing his love letters or the tickets to the last movie you watched as a couple. It won’t just hurt, it’ll also rekindle a one sided romance. [Read: The right thing to do with old love letters and gifts]
Also, don’t allow your emotions to let you down and dictate your overall outlook on life. Remember, it will be impossible for you to achieve your goal if you have no control over your emotions and if your head is constantly blaming you.