Look at it like this, every relationship has problems, fights, and disagreements. But if you two broke up, then there was something very wrong with your relationship. You need to analyze what went wrong and realize whether or not it’s a good idea to get back together.
Now, I don’t want to make this sound more simple/easy than it really is. Break ups are difficult and complex. I just want to confront these fallacies because there is no reason this should be made more difficult and painful just because you were misinformed about how to deal with such events.
For sure though, whatever their ultimate relationship decision, both Peter and Paulette feel out of their lifeboat and back on solid ground. The panic of a devastating waterfall ahead has been replaced by anticipation of a safer and sunnier future, whether in fact they end up together or apart.
Apologize if you hurt him. If you did anything at all to hurt your ex-boyfriend, whether you said something that offended him or you weren’t there for him in a time of need, it’s time to apologize. It takes great strength to offer a sincere apology, but it will go a long way in helping you repair your relationship.
MY RESPONSE: “You don’t want to hurt me, but you’re doing it anyway by leaving me. I don’t know what brought this on, whether it’s someone else that has convinced you or you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t love me. After all the times we’ve told each other, after all the times you’ve told me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, the times we’ve told each other how lucky we both feel to have each other and to be able to call each other “mine”, and the times we’ve told each other we love each other with all our heart and soul more than anything (I still do love you with all my heart and soul more than anything), and all of a sudden you don’t love me anymore. You seem to think that relationships are suppose to be what it was like at the start. That’s called the honeymoon period which inevitably ends for all couples babe. It doesn’t last forever as couples get used to each other, and also become busy. Talk to any couple and they’ll tell you the same thing.
So let go of over-thinking about the other. That’s part of what doesn’t work in relationships. Responsive is fine, Trying to guess all the time what the other person thinks or will do, that’s disaster.
Women are submissive by nature and they want their man to be the polar opposite (dominant). Leaving decisions (could be about anything) to her, is submissive behavior by you, and it places her in the dominant role – a role that the female kind doesn’t take naturally to.
If you focus your attention on spending time with your friends or pursuing a new hobby, you will have less time to miss your ex-boyfriend, which can help you avoid the pitfalls of getting back together just because you’re lonely.
This is not a problem that gets solved with a text message. You cannot change the core of your being in a single gesture. So stop with the Hail Mary attempts. You’re not coming back this late in the game with a single desperate maneuver.
Below I have listed all of the qualities that women consider when choosing a potential mate. Some of these qualities mean more than others and some are completely out of your control. However, most women consider these qualities when they look at you. The idea is to maximize as many qualities as you can to give yourself the best chance to re-attract your ex.
If she asks how long this change will be in effect, tell her it will take as long as it takes. There’s no way to put a strict date on when you’ll be able to be around her without feeling upset again. Sometimes it’s only for a month or two; in rare cases, it could be for the rest of your life.
Hi, my ex girlfriend broke up with me two months ago, we were together for 10 months. I tried to beg her back, then we agree on NC. In the first 2 weeks it was impossible to accomplish couse I had to move out, and my stuff was all over the place, it took me time and she kept texting about my stuff. The last time I was there, we talked, and I managed to invite her to lunch, as a date. I’m pretty busy in general, that’s why the date was a week after that. We texted each other every day on Facebook, always she started the discussion. The lunch went well, but after she texted me she had second thoughts about it, like ‘it’s not a good idea and she thought about canceling… But it was so good and she likes me in the moment but we still have problems’. We continued texting. Then I went abroad one of my friends, originally this trip was planned as a romantic one with my ex. She kept on texting me. When I got home, I asked her out again, she was happy to say yes, then a few hours later and out of nowhere, she changed and said she is too bad and I need to run away from her, couse she is gonna hurt me… I tried to refuse it. No success. So goodbye and start NC. 10 days after she texted she wanted to talk to me. She seemed desperate (and I didn’t know your rules about NC) so we agreed to meet and talk on a monday. The next day was my birthday, no texts, nothing. One night before the meeting she canceled it and she wrote this is the last time I have to tolerate her indecisiveness, she thinks about me with love and hope we will be able to talk to each other again, couse she misses our long talks and me in general, but just bye. I didn’t respond. I just don’t get it. She’s like a roller-coaster. Should I hope for anything after that? It seems like the last goodbye.
After passing some time (weeks or months) without your ex then you need to contact her by phone call. Find something fun to do on the weekend with your friends, and commit to it. THEN, invite her to join you guys. Approach the feeling with nonchalance, you’ve already spent a few weeks or months improving yourself so you know that you’re perfectly fine without her. Accept this mindset into your heart, but tell her you want to see her happy either way.
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.