I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with. Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 2-3 years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then (her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am), but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. She tells me things like “even thoughi have a boyfriend, you were still the best boyfriend i ever had”, or “sometimes i wish you never broke up with me”. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school (we are both 18). Her boyfriend doesnt go to school and does not have a job, so i asked her why she has a boyfriend that isn’t doing anything with his life and she said, “because i love him”, that left me speechless. I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her (what is a relationship without trust?), he keeps her on check (where are you at? Who are you with? What are to doing?). I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I listen to what she has to say and I’m there for her when she needs it. It hurts everytime she talks about him and even when she talks to him on the phone in front of me (he doesnt know that i am with her) and tells him “i love you” right before they hang up. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. I can’t be “just friends”because I’ve known her as my lover and nothing less. I really dont know what to do, but what i don’t want is to have to move on. Pleeeaaassse help me out.
When I say love life what do I mean? Am I only talking about potential sexual partners? No, your love life extends beyond that. It can include things like family, friends, business relationships, etc.
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Once you’ve pinpointed the main problem, or main problems, make sure that it’s something that you can really control. For example, if your main problem was your fundamentally different religious beliefs, or the fact that you live across the country from each other and can’t relocate, that may be hard to fix.
thank you! i agree, but he keeps saying he needs time and space and as of right now, he thinks too much has happened between us that can’t be erased. i was going through a hard time and that negativity may have brought him down, but he never told me how he felt until he ended things so i never had the chance to fix that. i’m hoping giving him this time and space he wants will make him realize it, but do you think it may just be too far gone in his mind? i really want a second chance since now i know what his problems with me were, i see how easily fixable they are. i just don’t know how to show him that!
Overconfidence can lead to complacency, which is not good for any relationship. According to Anderson, in a survey published in August 1993 in the journal Law and Human Behavior, couples who had recently applied for a marriage license were asked to estimate the average rate of divorce. Almost uniformly, they accurately predicted about 50 percent. Then they were asked to estimate the chances that they would get divorced. They answered zero percent. The problem with this statistic is that, if there is no perceived risk of failure, no “work” is put into maintaining the relationship—until it’s suddenly faltering. Don’t let yourself gloss over the little things. Don’t forget to make an effort to keep your romance alive. Don’t find yourself in a situation where you realize that you could have done more…when it’s already too late.
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!
With hindsight, Peter could see that the unpleasant situation he found himself in every day at work had left him depressed in the evenings. His response to depression had been to sink increasingly into “poor me” ruminations. “How can they treat me so unfairly? Why can’t my boss appreciate my talents? I’m stuck in a job that’s not my thing. I hate having a job that doesn’t fit and a boss who’s chronically negative.”
I just broke up with my girlfriend today and it was the worst feeling ever. We have been together for almost a year, this March 17th would be our first anniversary and it kills me to think that we can’t spent it together as a couple. She is my first true love and I can’t get her off my mind, I still want her, I always will love her and no one else. I know the best thing to do is to just keep occupied and to move forward but it’s not easy. We broke up before. She broke up with me and she came back to me and I gave the relationship another chance, but I told her that if we were to get back together major changes are going to have to be made but I was the only one changing to help our relationship. Almost a month has gone by since we’ve been back together, and just last weekend we went out and it was the best time of our lives. We loved each other so much we had an amazing time and thought how we couldn’t live without each other. Then a week later from that great date, during the week I didn’t talk to her for 2 days and she took that very seriously, she told me that she thought I was losing interest in her and maybe didn’t love her anymore but that’s not true, I do love her and always will. We got together today to talk, and I told her that I think it’s best we are not in a relationship anymore and she agreed the same thing and said that, it’s not working out and it’s best we are not together anymore. But I only agreed to the break up so it would give us a break from each other to learn from it, yes I do think it’s best for us but I still want to get back together with her again. I know she loves me, I feel it. She’s shown me, you just know when that special someone loves you, you just know it, before we broke up today she told me that she was seeing another guy while we were in the relationship still, and it came to a shock to me because I never thought she would do something like that. She’s not that kind of person, and she told me that she didn’t know he had romantic intentions for her. But I can see for her it was kinda hard that we both agreed to break up, I told her that if we do break up, I can’t see you again it will hurt me too much, and to get rid of everything that we have ever had with each other, from gifts, to letters, picture’s, clothing, to take me off of Facebook, everything I even said to delete our phone numbers from our phone today, and she had a hard time to delete my number from her phone but she did. She told me before that she still loves me. During our talk she gave me a hug when we were leaving each other, and dragged her arm down to my hand. I don’t know what that means but I still want her, more than ever now I miss her so much. What kills me is not knowing if she misses me or still wants to be with me again. I wish someone could tell me if she might be thinking about me right now and even to get back together again or even what she’s doing. I wish I could know everything. I love her more than everything and I want her back. I just need help right now. I want to know if we can still be together again.
This girl was willing to go out with him because his other qualities (whether it be wealth, comfortability or height) were all high enough to trump his looks quality. So, when the woman was deciding whether or not to date him she weighed all of these qualities and made her decision.
Take it slow. Treat it like you’re starting a new relationship instead of jumping right back into an old one. Don’t spend all of your time together right away, even if that’s what you were doing before you broke up.
It may be harder to win your woman back than to start fresh with a new lady, but if you know that you have an unbelievable connection, it’ll be worth it. Whether your woman is the one who called it quits, or you’re the one who ended the relationship and realize you’ve made a big mistake, there are a number of steps you can take to rekindle that old flame with your woman. If you want your woman back, you have to give her space, make her want you again, and avoid making the same mistakes. If you want to win your woman back and keep her this time, just follow these steps.
Prioritize yourself – This is the perfect time to prioritize yourself. Start hanging out with your friends once again. Focus on your career or do some extra-curricular activities, particularly those that you have been longing to do. Never appear too needy. Make your ex miss you more and do the things that you have once only dreamed of doing. This is the key to regaining back your self-worth and sense of self, allowing you to recover fast and find out whether you still really love her.
My ex and I have been talking ever so slightly lately but nothing substantial. About a month ago I asked her in person if she was mad at me and she said yes bc of stuff I said to another person. She didn’t tell me what I said or who I said it to. Honestly I have no clue. She added how she thought it was funny how I said that we would get back together one day(she dumped me) but that I closed the door on us even being friends. She’s only 23 and I’m the only person she dated. I’m having a hard time getting her to talk to me about it. A bit afraid to ask her in person bc she’s always surrounded with her friends at work and don’t feel it’s appropriate to show up at her home. She won’t reply to a text that involves talking about why she’s upset. What do I do? What are my options here?
Hopefully, if everything goes as planned, your ex will not be able to resist you and will start to warm up to you again. After that it should only be a matter of time until they are back in your life.
Remember when your ex left you? They thought of you as a needy, clingy and desperate person with little to no self-respect. After not being in contact with you for a while, they must be wondering what the heck happened to you. They will slowly start to forget that image of yours (the needy desperate one) and start remembering the things they liked about you. They will start remembering the things that they found attractive in you.
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me (we work together) and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship was toxic or abusive. It might feel temporarily lonely or even boring to be on your own after the end of a tumultuous relationship, but try to ride that feeling out instead of going back to your ex. On again, off again relationships tend to be based on unhealthy patterns that won’t go away. Resist the temptation to jump right back in when you know you’re better off without him.
Having said that, though, both partners can certainly contribute to infidelity. It’s like, if you’re happy with your job, and a headhunter calls, you don’t even talk to them…but if you’re unhappy, the stage is set for talking and walking.
When you stop begging her to come back, give her some space, go to work on yourself, move slowly when contacting her, and show up as your best self, you’ll be giving yourself the best chance of getting back together.
Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you.
If you’re getting an ex girlfriend back you want to become friends again first. Start by being kind and supportive to her, but make sure your intentions are clear. Take opportunities for friendly touches and sexual jokes, make sure she understands you didn’t get neutered during your break up. The idea of you and your ex getting back together should be covert, not overt. Don’t force her to get back in your life instead show her you are ready to have her in your life. If she rejects your dates or advances accept it calmly and be supportive to her. Remember women like to have men that appreciate her.
And the answer is simple: because your goal isn’t to just get your girlfriend back but to take this relationship and make it stronger than it ever was. And that’s why I’m making you this limited time offer: to keep you updated with the most reliable information to turn your wish into reality.
To most looking in, Rebecca Bunch has a great life: a high powered job as an attorney in a prestigious New York law firm, great future prospects in her chosen profession, looks, brains, and money. But she has always suffered from anxiety and depression, for which she is on a plethora of pills. Those maladies are largely from being pushed by her overbearing Jewish mother, which also led to Rebecca’s father abandoning the family when she was young. When on the streets of New York Rebecca runs into Josh Chan, her boyfriend from summer camp ten years ago when they were sixteen, she remembers back to that time as the happiest time in her life, happiness which eludes her. When Josh mentions that he is imminently moving back to his hometown of West Covina, California, Rebecca decides to pursue happiness in moving to West Covina herself, telling people it’s because she got a fabulous job there, where in reality it’s to rekindle a relationship with Josh, which she believes is what will make … Written by Huggo