These are the ones who walk around just ahead of us, just out of reach, the ones we think we spot on the train and our heart lurches before we realize that’s it not them. It’s a dog. It’s not them. It’s just a dog in a raincoat. And them we go home alone.
If you managed to get through texting your ex-girlfriend unscathed, then just stop. Did you congratulate her on graduating and she said “Thank you?” Okay, stop. Did she confirm that, yes, that was her old friend from circus camp you ran into? Okay, stop. Did she not respond to your text message whatsoever? Okay, stop. You just have to stop texting before someone makes a fool of themselves (especially you).
When i did that, she used to tell me not to. I didn’t change myself though. I had been stubborn like a idiot. And looked very upset to her. No talking. Wtf… Now i hate myself in the past… And i forced to her to do what i want. She had been really tired of me.
Dont abuse your privileges. Im not saying dont go out on a limb to ask her something, but know your limits, and know yours and her comfort zone. These next few weeks are going to be the toughest ive faced in my life. Ive never felt this way about a girl before. She means so much to me and i dont want to lose her. Lose what we have.
I guess my question is during this NO-Contact rule, is it ok to meet up with her possibly next week and if so is a gift ok to give? Right now, I am so emotionally torn and I don’t know what to do. I’ve just bought your books and this is a time for me to continue to develop my maturity and really reflect on what I want in a relationship but I am scared that by not giving her space to herself as suggested by the NO-Contact Rule (14-30 days) that this is a bad decision to possible meet up with her next week.
We’re both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. I feel we started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn’t feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it’s like we hadn’t fought. We both acknowledged we couldn’t see each other to work things out as much. After another fight, he broke it off, saying we fought too much, didn’t feel trust, school/finals stress, & that we should take a break. We kept talking for like 2 weeks after saying we could work things out & even saw each other a week after the breakup. It felt like we still really wanted to make it work. That last time I saw him, he mentioned this classmate who he was talking about past relationships with (including ours) & I didn’t like it but didn’t think anything of it. She is 18 & he said he’d never be interested in her since she’s young, stuck-up, & have nothing in common. I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on (I told my ex I wasn’t interested) but he didn’t like it. A week later, we got into the worst fight after my other ex messaged me after months (but I told him I denied him) then we didn’t talk for 2.5 weeks.
G. writes: About two years ago (I’m 21 now), I got into a serious long-term relationship with a girl in college that ended quite bitterly. Since then, neither of us has spoken a word to the other. My close friends and parents tell me that this was just a phase in my life and that it is okay to move on to create new memories. However, even two years later, without wanting to get back with her, I sometimes feel guilt and melancholy thinking back at our relationship.
Psychologist Jack Mearns studied people’s reactions to breakups. Those who got over the relationship quicker and easier were those who coped actively – by pursuing new friends, getting involved with hobbies, etc.
Twitter won’t do it. I’m sure you can find people who will tell you differently, but my advice would still be to get to the point where you don’t feel a crippling need to get back with her. Work on yourself, get other awesome things going on in your life, meet new amazing women. If you want to date your ex from that position of abundance, you’ll be much more capable of it because you won’t be needy. But as long as you are begging and desperate it is going to be a near un-winnable battle
It’s time to get in action after the setting of meeting. Prepare yourself well and good for the girlfriend you were looking for and for whom you tried hard to get answer of “How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back”? Remember you have to prepare well, because if you are in same old fashioned clothing’s and design, it will make her think that all was fake and planned like the posting of pictures and other enjoyment stuff. It’s time to meet up and let go the past of yours. Prepare for the bright future with full zeal and zest. Do not let the past get over your veins as it is the famous saying that only one who let’s go, can survive and survive well. So it’s in your best interest to do the right thing.
Ok thanks Ryan! Also we had a phone call recently just chit chat, it was a pleasant phone call I meantioned that I’m going away at the end of the week and if he wanted to see me, he said he feels pressured? And he doesn’t know, maybe another time then? I don’t know what he’s trying to communicate to me, as we’ve been texting for around a month and a phone call last night. At the end of the phone call we said it was nice to hear your voice and he said it was nice to hear your voice too. He sounded really depressed. I’m not sure if he needs more time? I’ve always been a go getter and he’s more relaxed and goes with the flow. could you explain what he means by pressured? Do I just give more time? My gut instinct and the way he sounded on the phone told me he missed me? Thanks
It’s best to admit your mistakes. You’ll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don’t mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
It’s normal, but not healthy. I definitely recommend you read the 6 Pillar of Self Esteem. It will help you learn how to draw pride from things you control, not from other people’s perceptions of you. Book is a livesaver for many people
I am now in week 3 of no contact. I feel better now, and I finally feel much happier without my ex, but there is just one little thing that hold’s me back from my full happiness. It’s that I told her 1 lie (it was something pretty bad, wouldn’t like to get into any detail here… but it’s nothing like cheating or anything about the relationship!)