Give yourself some time to reflect. Not only should you give her some space, but you should give yourself some space to reflect and think about what went wrong in the relationship. Take the time to sit down and ask what you did to make her not want you; were you too attentive, too moody, or too distant? Whatever you did, you have to make sure never to do it again if you want a moment of her day.

Examine how your values have shifted. Having gone through a breakup with one type of woman, you probably have a good idea of the things you didn’t like about her personality. This means you’re probably eying women who have a different personality in that regard, which in turn means that you’ve learned from your past – a sure sign of personal growth.

Only once, about 40 days in did we text for more than 5 minutes. She told me our relationship never had the “depth” she was looking for and she had found someone else that supports her in ways I didn’t. She said she was sorry for dragging me along when she really knew she didn’t want me anymore for a little bit of time.

Apologize if you hurt him. If you did anything at all to hurt your ex-boyfriend, whether you said something that offended him or you weren’t there for him in a time of need, it’s time to apologize. It takes great strength to offer a sincere apology, but it will go a long way in helping you repair your relationship.[11]

Take the time to listen. If she thought you didn’t care about her feelings before, maintain eye contact and let her talk without interrupting. You can mention something she said in the conversation a day later to show that you really do hang on to her every word.

When it comes to a romantic relationship, timing plays a huge role in making it work. Maybe, your relationship did not work before because the timing was not right. It could be because one of you was still on the stage of hitting personal growth milestones. It could also be because you or she was still trying to transition in terms of career or location. There is also a chance that one of you is still not ready to take the relationship into the next level.

Guilt and melancholy, of course, are not Stoic values. We think that whatever we did in the past is not under our control, it cannot be undone, and dwelling on it is therefore entirely unproductive, a waste of precious time and emotional resources. That said, you do want to learn from your past, in order to hopefully decrease the chances of making similar mistakes in the future. That’s why a philosophical diary, perhaps coupled with some heart to heart talk with a “friend of virtue,” as Aristotle would put it, is very helpful. (A friend of virtue is someone wise and honestly interested in your wellbeing, who has the guts to tell you that something you are doing is not the way to go, instead of simply reassuring you that you are doing fine.)

Don’t be too obvious about it. Don’t say, “Don’t you see how I’m no longer jealous when you talk to other girls?” Instead, just don’t look jealous when he talks to other girls, and he’ll figure out the rest.

I don’t need to explain this one do I? Ok, basically this is a tactic where you tell your ex boyfriend what you miss about your relationship. Be careful though because these messages need to be worded properly or your screwed.

Now that we diagnosed why your break up happened, you’re going to need to begin a No Contact Period. This applies regardless of whether you’re Category A, B or C, but since 95% of readers will be Category A, from this point on I’ll be proceeding under the assumption that you are Category A.

Do you post sad facebook status messages all day? Do you hope that your ex will see them and come back to you? Whenever your ex calls, do you tell them how much you miss them and how much lonely you are without them? Do you think your ex will take you back because of pity?

Hi, we were engaged,she called off our engagement, she is very egoist lying and stubborn and i was abusive (verbally), controlling, jelous, insecure, over possessive. I loved her from the best i have but her ego and stubbornness made me behave wrong to her, i pleaded begged and cried but she didn’t changed her decision, it was me who always use to go to her after every fight where she used to stop talking to me for several days, after broke up i re approached her but she wanted to be friends firstly i said yes but she was so casual and seemed moved on so i started no contact, its been three months i didn’t heard anything from her, she is completely moved on now she seems happy and outgoing and enjoying her life, and here i am so obsessed and crying and dying for her even though i have decided i wont ever contact her or give any signal to contact me, if she wants to workout again then she has to contact me, otherwise its over for me, i am down, i am low but ill get up and ill make it large.

So with you doing everything she wanted, your ex would have looked at you as inferior to her (lacking in DMV compared to her), in a world where women are attracted to men they see as being superior and high in DMV.

Hello, after a relationship of 2 years with my bestfriend (since 5 years) I heard from one of his mate he was already with this girl from his class. I taught she was a rebound because 3 weeks after the breakup they already were dating. My ex told me that he would tell me if he has a new girlfriend but he never told about her. But now I think she is more than a rebound.. It’s been 2 months and they follow the familymembers on instagram. I don’t understand him, why doesn’t he just tell me he has a new girlfriend? I’m the kind of person who wants always the best for the other person. I told him I want him to be happy, even if it’s not me who makes him happy. We had a fight last month because I still had contact with one of his best friends. He told me he could not party with me on NYE because he couldn’t be drunk in the same room as me (we have a lot of common friends). I wrote him a letter to say I’m okay with the breakup and I think it’s for the best to give each other space. He didn’t respond on the letter, but after that he puts more snapchats in our friends group to make me look at it. I don’t understand him?

You were never an add on or an option to me in my heart!!! You were always my one and only and my everything, and you still are!!! You’re absolutely right in saying that I love you and adore you, because I really do baby!!! So don’t be afraid that you’ll never have that again, when you have it from me now and always will!!!

I talked with lots of my friends and dating gurus before locating Michael Fiore regarding how to get an ex girlfriend back. “Come on… She was NOT for you.” said by one of my closest friend. Many friends suggested me to MOVE ON. At 29, I have no intentions to dating someone new because I knew I have deepest connection with my girlfriend that I can’t build with any new girl.

Try to do it initially several times a week, it takes only a few minutes. Accompany it with the keeping of an evening philosophical diary where you write down your impressions, thoughts, and reactions to how you feel and what happens to you. All of this should help you regain perspective on things.

My girlfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago, we were talking frequently until 3 weeks ago when she moved to Portland, OR (we lived in California together). Last week she started dating another guy and I freaked out, text her (nothing mean) said “wow, that was fast” she got extremely pissed and blocked my number and Facebook. Do I still have a chance at getting her back? I made a lot of mistakes after the breakup, begging to come back to her, argued a couple times, freaked about her dating. I wrote her 2 letters but didn’t send either one yet. One is a love letter and the other is an apology letting her know I accept the breakup and wish her the best.