Although we all deserve proper closure, sometimes we just don’t receive it. It doesn’t mean you should stay in one place, without moving on in life because that’s what many people do and they never fully pick themselves up. It seems really sudden that he broke up with you when everything seemed fine (based on what you said) and there should be a reason. Maybe if you can figure out what that is (from mutual friends), then you would get the closure you deserve. However, I suggest in the mean time not to contact him any further and just focus on yourself. Apply No Contact and pick yourself up as he’s doing with himself. Only later on should you actually contact him again if you still love him and want him back.
And after the break up my ex husband indicated he wanted me back (we have two kids) but I refused because I want someone better. Also, interestingly right after the break-up my former neighbour asked me out for a drink through facebook. But I did not want to play with others since I am into my ex boyfriend. So I refused especially because I know that my neighbour would be serious about the relationship. He was trying with me previously, confessed his feelings but he is too simple for me: I mean he is not interested in deeper things and I am. So I refused him previously as well. And I am chatting with a guy who is quite interested in me. So as you can see I dont have to feel that I would not have any other chance. I am on dating sites. I am friendly and quite ok for my age. Also, i have 4 degrees. So I am not absolutely stupid. Men are attracted to me. And I am 38. I am after a 20 year long marriage so obviously I know my feelings for this guy wont last forever. I am not that naive. The main point is that: I would like one more chance with this guy because maybe we would get on very well if I try seriously. And since I realized that I need not only sex but someone who loves me and who I can love, at the end of the day I have to change my approach/behaviour anyway. So why not now and why not with this guy. It is not that easy to find someone who is interested in deep-speaking and still sober enough and who behaves in a loving way towards me. Also we were perfectly in synch in sex. So what else would I want? Of course maybe it wont work. I am realistic. I know this guy only for 3 months and we had fights. I am nornmally not an agressive type but I was the one who started the fight, he remained polite while I was swearing. This shows that I tried to protect myself from emotions. He realized that it is my fear but i did not want to realize. And you know I want this only if it works well. Basically I dont want this guy at any cost but I wanna see where it goes if I really try without fears. Maybe he is the right person for me.
The EBP requirements serve as a guideline but are not set in stone since every relationship situation is different. Currently, if you want a relationship where how you feel is accepted, and a partner who isn’t naive, you’ll have better luck in walking away and finding someone who fits that. If you still want to continue a relationship with her, then you’re going to have to accept that being jealous and telling her off on being naive (even if you’re right) are things that would only push her away. Instead of becoming angry (again, even if you have the right to be), I suggest talking to her in a more understanding way as that might make her more receptive to what you’re saying as opposed to telling her off and she becomes defensive and justifies the other person’s actions.
Me and my other half split up 5 weeks ago last sunday, he split with me 2 days after my 21st birthday. Yes he was my first love but I am completely smitten by him. When he broke it off with me he didnt give me much of a reason but gave me a kiss as he got out of my car. I got a text message saying “he doesnt want anything with me anymore, its a clean break and not just a break” but ive had no explination and im incredibly worried that he thinks the grass is greener. I made the mistake of texting him because i felt like i needed closure and he didnt give me that. After 2.5 years i deserve that right? He keeps telling people that hes “ignoring me to move on properly” and i just dont understand. 2 hours before breaking it off with me, he was telling me he loves me and misses me. And wrote in my birthday card “to my one and only” was this all a lie? Hes a very “led astray” person and his family like to drink and ever since this happened hes been drinking more, hes seen me once and not even made eye contact with me. He could never talk to me and convided in a mutual female friend who i now fear hes trying it on with. Hes getting on with his life whilst mines in the gutted. I really dont know if he loves me or has done for a while. Im so confused.
I want you to take things slow and only aim to get on the phone with your ex girlfriend. In other words, your main goal here is not to get a date but rather to just simply talk on the phone with your ex.
That needs to change. We need to get you behaving and coming across in a more attractive manner, when you meet up with her in person. This takes practice so it is something you should get started with right away as soon as you begin the No Contact Period. That way, when you go to meet with her after no contact, she’s gonna ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier presence. That’s how it works, they can’t explain it, they ‘just feel’ it.
Hi ryan..thanks for your reply..i will try to give her that space and time like you said..but i really need your advice on how to win her trust back and confidence and keep our love..what so i really do during this break?
If you look at your current situation then it is your ex girlfriend that care least and holding all cards. It is you that who keeps on searching how to get your ex girl back. If you want to control your relationship then you have to care least. Accept it and work on techniques (I will mention later) to reverse it.
“My girlfriend recently left me and I was completely blown away, I was depressed, emotional and my self-esteem was gone. I reacted like most of us do by begging, arguing, pressing and trying to convince her to come back and things would be different. I was being ruled by my emotions. This book helped me get perspective on the situation and see things from a different point of view. With the help of his book I was able to get control of my emotions and start working on a way to get her back in my life. It is not an easy process but if you take the effort to really try it and understand it can work. While I haven’t accomplished my final goal I am making progress towards it. Anyone who is going through this with someone they love can benefit from his advice. Thanks again!!”
This ability to talk collaboratively, without criticism, blame or demands for change, is probably what accounts for the statistics that say that most couples who remain married over time become increasingly happy with their partnership.
If the problem had to do more with him, then you can think about how you can be together again without this issue — maybe he’ll be willing to change. But if he’s not willing to change and you know this will be an issue long term, then you should consider whether or not it’s worth it to get him back.
Sometimes, not communicating with your ex works so well that she’ll realize how much she misses you. Don’t be surprised if she starts calling or messaging you after a week of no contact! (Researchers at the Univ. of Washington have found that the vast majority of relationships can be repaired, so if you play your cards correctly you can expect her to eventually get in touch again).
Get in shape- There is no argument that you can make to me to say that this isn’t a good idea. This is especially true if (no offense) you are a little overweight. However, even if you are a workout fanatic don’t let your breakup change that side of you.
I need help! My boyfriend and I just broke up 4 days ago and we were together for 4 months but I’ve known him since we were in 6th grade (I’m a freshman now) and since then, he has liked me. So, a month ago I found out that he liked my best friend and I broke up with him. A week later, we started dating again. The problem is that I’m bipolar and I get jealous really easy, especially when he’s around the girls that he use to like. When we started dating again, we decided to be honest to each other no matter how bad it was and I did my job, from the beginning of our relationship, I told him I still had little feelings for my ex but it didn’t matter because he goes to another school. We promised each other that I wasn’t going to text my ex anymore and he wasn’t going to talk to my friend or even get near her. 4 days ago, my best friend and other 2 girls were in a group and I guess he was waiting for his friend but I didn’t care, I wanted him away from her. I told him to move and he kept saying he was waiting for his friend. I started counting till 5 and I turned around and left. He followed me but I ignored him. I knew that if I talked to him, I was going to break up with him and I didn’t want that, so I left. I texted him 30 minutes later explaining why I was mad and why I ignored him, I even apologized and all I got was “…. I dunno…” At that moment, I knew it was over. I begged him not to break up but he wouldn’t take me back. The next day I talked to him, I had to. I told him that… I might be pregnant. I told my mom and she was not okay, I lost all her trust. He also told his mom and she said if I was pregnant, she was going to support him but since I’m not, she doesn’t want us back together. I know he still loves me but I don’t know what to do anymore. Today I found out that he started talking to his ex, so I did the same. This is really affecting me. I did not go to one of my classes today because he has the same class, I also left school early because I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I feel like this is slowly killing me. I feel like I need him! :'( Can someone help me?