I’m not sure if you can help me or not. So me and my ex boyfriends for nearly 2 years before we got together and after a discussion we decided that it would be a good idea to try dating each other (both of us had been wanting to date the other for at least 8months but hadn’t told eachother due to the friendship). Everything was going great and we made a promise that if things didn’t go to plan we’d stay friends because our friendship was important to both of us. We made it to just over 2 months and then broke up. It was a pretty easy break up, nothing too traumatic but the way he acted could perhaps been seen as a bit out of hand by some people. Though out the relationship everything was great, he treated well and with respect and he wasn’t pushy for sex. I also was respectful to him and treated him really well throughout. Everyone including myself always thought that we would last forever but I guess good things come to an end at some point. My boyfriend is 18 and I’m 16 so I guess that makes things more difficult. Anyway, we were great with eachother even up to the day of the breakup and then I found out that he had messaged his mate a week before saying he was “getting bored” of being in a realtionship with me and his mate told him to keep going on seeing how things went. Having found this out pretty late at night, I asked him as soon as I could the next morning. When I did, he agreed with what I had found out and we broke up. He told me that I had done nothing wrong and that he wanted to remain best friends as we previously were. He explained that due to me being his first girlfriend, he didn’t know what to expect in a relationship and due to this, he didn’t wanna be in a realtionship with anyone. He messaged me the next morning saying that he was sorry and felt like he had let me down. I didn’t reply. I decided to start no contact and have been doing so for the last 15 days. Before we broke up, it was planned that we would come to my school prom with me but now due to the break up and no contact this is no longer a plan that we have. I have been recently debating about whether or no I should ask him to come because even though we have broken up, I still love and feel bad because he shouldn’t have to miss out because of the breakup as he didn’t have a prom of his own and was really Looking forward to going to mine. He also organised a suit and we talked of how we were matching te dress and tie etc. I know that even if I keep up the 30 or 60 day no contact, I am still going to feel the exact same way about him as I always have and so I’m thinking of ending the no contact and asking him to prom with me, even if it just be as friends. I need to decide pretty quickly as I only have 2 days left to purchase the ticket but I’m scared that he will say no and I’ll end up hurt and I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to end no contact. I thinking that perhaps if I do ask him to prom and he says yes. I continue the no contact until the date of the prom? Do you think I should end no contact and ask him to prom with me?
Hi thanks for the great advice! Also it’s hard with the NC rule due to we work together. Just today I talked with her for the first time in 4 days only because I have to at work. Although I said hello and merry Christmas, it was still strictly only work related . She was very dry with me even though it was only work related.
Evolution and the desire to have the strongest possible offspring, dictate that your girl gets attracted to guys she sees as superior to herself. All women have this mechanism wired into their DNA in order to keep the human race strong.
when she came back for the Xmas/new year, we saw, she asked me to bring over food and drinks on Xmas day, I did, I kissed her but lightly, and said our good nights, cause I didn’t want to push it far.
I already tried many of these FREE tips, tricks and most of them never work for me, and even some of them make my boyfriend angry over me. Upon searching over the internet and watching couple of videos, I found Michael Fiore. His advice seems to be practical and he has lots of reviews from people who get their ex back.
Thank you for your reply. I understood that one of the purpose of NC to introduce changes to my own life and approach. But I am not addicted to this guy, only attracted to him and wanna try if it works with him. I can live without him. I have my life, my goal in life without him. I am aware that both of us should work on it and use a different approach. Definetely I should starte. What I am saying: it is not a more year old relationship but only 3 month long and basically was about sex. Ergo, if I wait say 1 month my chance to get him back is decreasing in my view.
When I found the research on dopamine above I remember thinking that it was extremely interesting. However, I also thought that when dopamine is being fired off in my brain when I have a crush on someone the inner workings are completely different.
“After going through several years of ups and downs with a guy I met in high school, we ended things in our mid-20s. At first, I was devastated because we had so many memories from different phases of our lives, and it took me almost a year to shake the sad feelings. What helped me the most was remembering that even though I was sad, I still had the same great family, friends, and job I had before the relationship and the breakup. It was also pretty satisfying to remove the guy as a friend on Facebook!” —Rose W.
I am having a horrible time figuring out which way to go, I met this guy who helped me through a tough time. But maybe we moved to fast. We began to have arguments and we break up a lot. Everytime we break up he gets meaner and meaner. He talks to tons of girls but turns around and says how in love with me he is but doesn’t want to be with me. But we always end up back together. Today he told me he doesn’t care if I move on and how he’s talking to other females. But soooo in love with me. But just not over are recent fight
To do this, Brenner says one must grieve the loss, take responsibility for their actions, focus on the positives and make a plan for the immediate future. This, she says, will force you to make things happen and move on.
It’s really hard to get over your ex when he’s broken up with you but isn’t sure that he’s made the right decision. And so he keeps stringing you along by giving you false hope that maybe you’ll get together again someday soon.
To his relief, Peter began to experience his small apartment somewhat more positively. Now it felt like a cozy place to read and enjoy time alone. His loneliness, too, began to abate to the point that some evenings he even preferred staying home alone to running out to activites with others lest he drown in the pain of loss.
I just broke up with my boyfriend five days ago… I found out not only had he been cheating on me but he had a whole other relationship going on with this other woman. I’ve never been so hurt ever. I felt like a complete fool.. Anyways I struggle with facebook stalking and wanting to still be friends
We’re really young, I’m a senior in high school and he’s a junior, we’re both 17, so I know a lot of people are going to look down on me for this whole situation. When we were dating, I made him drawings and paintings and clay sculptures, tutored him, was his nurse when he was sick, and I practically lived with him because I spent every weekend with him and when I didn’t go over, he’d ask where I was because he said he missed me. I love really hard and have a tendency to love unconditionally, I forgive everything. So I gave him a second chance and forgave him and I realize that makes me naive, but I thought “everyone deserves a second chance.” We stayed together two days.
Ideally, your ex will be working on himself, as well, although this isn’t something you can control. If you two both commit to bettering yourselves, then you can start a new relationship that’s far better than your last one.
I am going to be mean for a minute here but it has to be done. If you are trying to get over your ex boyfriend and are committed to doing so then I want you to stop whining. I don’t want to hear how he wronged you or how you wronged him. There is only one time where I think it is ok to feel sorry for yourself and that is literally the day after the breakup. After that I don’t want to hear your complaints.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this site! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I have started the no contact rule and so far we have only talked in regards to logistics about the apartment. I see his social media posts with the new girl and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and laughing which is gut wrenching. Should I let go of the hope of fixing things? I want to try couples therapy but I think it’s too late. Has he moved on or is this a rebound to take his mind off stuff? Thanks!
I want you to take a second and imagine something for me. You are at a crowded bar with a group of your friends. Now, since you are a nice person you offer to go buy drinks for everyone in your group.
Getting back together with your ex-boyfriend can be a challenge. You first need to spend some time reflecting on the relationship and all the events leading up to the breakup. What was your part in it? Taking the time to understand what went wrong will help you to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
There are some prehistoric things programmed into the male DNA that don’t allow for us to show emotion as easily as most women. Even though he may always seem calm, cool and collected when you interact, trust me when I tell you he’s dealing with the hurt just like you. He just has a different way of coping than you; a way of coping that is actually much more internal than external.
Wealth, health and love are three important fixtures of one life beyond the worship of GOD. You cannot survive or even think about living in the world without them. Moreover, your mental aptitude actually describes your performance in all of these 3 traits mentioned above.
I just read what happened to you with your ex-girlfriend, becoming depressed because of a back injury at 23 and living with your girlfriends family and letting her go because you were moody and lost all self-esteem. But still being in love with her.
Now this might sound like the world’s greatest case of stating the obvious but allowing yourself to grieve is a big step. If that means having a screaming fit or just crying until you physically can’t cry anymore then that’s exactly what you need to do. Suppressing emotions in an effort to appear strong might seem like a good idea but ultimately those negative emotions will fester inside you and come back to haunt you in later relationships.
My ex texted me Merry Christmas on 23Dec, I replied Thank you. Later, he updated his status and unblocked his page to me. His status told me He’s sick, should take medicines – those I bought for him. I read all of the status and decided to let him go, that’s why I texted him Farewell, wished him all the best. He replied “thank you and he’s not with anyone now”. On receiving the messages, I started the NC since then. On 30Dec he texted me Happy New Year, I waited 1 day to check it and didnt respond. Since Christmas, I updated my page with fun and neutral info, showing how I enjoyed the holidays. On Jan2, he liked one of my status. I’m confused. I’ve been struggling before the no contact to live the life before him, now I still suffer. What should I do next? I once imagined my life without him, felt very bad and hurtful, but got to the point that I should accept it.
So this is all about understanding the basics of a relationship and then sacrificing your small things. Sacrificing your time out of daily schedule, sacrificing your ego in the name of relationship. Only then you may be able to withstand daily hardships and enjoy the love and passion of a true relationship.