Now that you have your ex girlfriend back, all you have to do is keep working on the relationship and making it stronger. You need to work on developing a deep connection with her so she never even thinks about leaving you.
3rd broke up(while improving on myself(not doing enough), we were chatting about things i did in the past, cant exactly remember if i confess everything in a proper manner to her, being not wanting to hide anything from her, i gave her a recap and told her everything, the very next day, she left)
I’m really not one for relationships. I pretty much stay away from them because I feel that’s going to protect me from getting hurt. However, a couple of years ago, after two serious relationships, I met someone who I really “clicked” with. I got all the symptoms of a girl who was crushing. After a few dates, I slept with him. It was probably the worst, and most awkward, experience I went through, but we still kept seeing each other. I was over the moon because he was just what I needed. He was funny, good looking, confident, great taste in music, spoiled me with affection (and sometimes material things), my friends and family loved him, and even opened the door for me wherever we were like a true gentleman. A month or so in, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I obviously accepted. But in a blink of an eye, he turned into the complete opposite of what he had shown me. I tried reasoning it by telling myself it was all in my head, but I wasn’t the only one who noticed it. We still had good times but most of the time he was accusing me of something ridiculous so we’d end up in an argument. Finally, I gave him an ultimatum; either he changes his ways, or we break up. He didn’t want to change. I asked him, “why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend to begin with?” And his response was, “I don’t know.” So, I did the deed. We tried being friends but the attraction was too strong and we just kept messing around. So, typical girl me, assumed this was him trying to get back with me. After a year of fooling around, on and off, he told me he loved me. I responded the same, and I was absolutely thrilled. Then, he stopped texting me. My stalker self found out he was sleeping around with someone else (unsure if it was when we were sleeping around still, or after). A month or so later, contacted me again. We spent a night of passion together, and again, disappeared for a week. When i confronted him about it, he made it seem so petty and made me feel used. Two months after that, I contacted him, strictly out of desperation for a ride. He ended up “kidnappings” me and after hours of him spilling his guts out, I gave in to him again. We were going amazingly solid for about a month. No arguments, no problems, no complaints. He kept asking me how I felt about him and I assured him I loved him. He ended up going through some financial hardship for losing his job and I gladly assisted. I loved the guy so I wanted to help. Around this time, I also told him that i would be moving out of town. His response was that he wanted to come with me. That was the exact response I wanted. Then after a couple more weeks, he slowly started distancing himself. Didn’t help that his phone got disconnected. So I would go to his place and make sure to tell him when I would drop by again. That weekend, I showed up every night for three nights, without an answer, until the third night. Which happened to be the night I peeped through his open window to see a naked girl laying in his bed. What hurt me the most was his reaction. Like, he didn’t see what the big deal was. Like he didn’t care. I just didn’t want him to see me cry so I walked away. Months later I contacted him once or twice for my money but eventually gave up on the idea because I didn’t find it worth my time for all the excuses he was giving me. I started a fling shortly after with a coworker who, quite honestly, has got to be one of the hottest men I’ve ever been with, but still I consider him a rebound. Now that I’ve already moved, I’m no longer with the rebound (just friends), but I still catch myself thinking about the ex. I feel I don’t have closure. Especially since he’s writing to me on social networks (just minor comments. Nothing revealing). I feel I want him back because I believe deep down inside he was purposely pulling away to avoid attachment. But we had something and I’m willing to give it another shot. Do you think it’s worth my time, or is he just a jerk who played me and I should let go?
In our relationship a special point is that we got fallen in love with each other after nearly breaking up for 3-4 times! These hard moments made us believe, we want the other one for good! In most cases i was the one who initiated the ‘we should keep on’-idea, and he was always glad to hear it from me, firstly he always acted like strong and unconvincable, but then cried of the relief, that we are keeping on. But it was always my mistake, at that time i couldn’t really trust him, and i showed him my true feelings only at the breakups. Then our relationship flourished, we were extremely happy with each other. He did everything to me every day he proved his love for me, i did it too.
My ex is a very sensitive guy. He also has a great passion for playing music (he thinks he is very good at it but still looking for a lot of approval). English is my second language, so sometimes I say things about his singing like ‘yes, it is very good’…’ very nice…’, ‘this one is not too bad…’ When I said ‘this one is not too bad’ for the third time… (sorry this prase doesn’t sound bad in my language at all), he broke up with me , saying that i am mean and killing his spirit.
Listen to your friends and family. Although you might feel defensive, those who are close to you and know you well often have good insight into your relationships. If someone you know and trust has a bad feeling about your relationship, you should take that as an indication that there could be trouble.
Yes, you should explain. But don’t force him to get back together. Just let him know what you meant, and apologize. End with something like “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or kill your spirit. I apologize if I did. I support you 100% and I just wanted to clear things with you.”
Making him work for your attention will make him respect you all the more if and when you do get back together. The first steps to take is to learn how to make your ex miss you. Once you have achieved that you have already started him reaching for a re-connection with you.
I am 28. My girlfriend 26. We had been together for 2 years and prior to this my girlfriend was with another guy for 5 years. She immediately jumped ship to me from him, with no grieving period over her first love. Her ex BF has since moved on in another relationship that is strong. We have been doing 8 months of long distance (cross-country). I went to see her last week after she had pretty much told me while I was away she couldn’t continue with the distance any longer. She had been telling her friends that she didn’t see how we would end up continuing and that she would most likely be single soon as she felt no commitment from me. I went to visit her to work on the relationship as she can be quite needy for attention–can’t handle being ‘single’– and upon my visit discovered (without her knowing) that she has been talking to her ex BF and recently asked him to go out late one night while I was away. He ended up saying no, but they have 100% gotten together before without my prior knowledge and they’ve been back in touch for over a year now. When I asked my GF if they had hung out or been in touch the last month, she lied 3 times to my face. I didn’t confront her about what I knew- the lying to my face seemed enough of a reason for me to end it, combined with the constant guilt-trip she has put me on for doing long distance.
The trick is going to be to prove to your ex over time that you are better suited than anyone else to make them happy. You need to try to stay positive when you around your ex and build on the fact that you have a shared history: humor, anecdotes of things that happened while you were together or even just small talk will help you make your ex feel comfortable and want to spend time with you.
Helping people get back with the one they love and to reach their goals is our passion. We understand that in order to do our work in the best possible way, we need to fully invest ourselves in people’s lives in order to understand the intricacies of their relationship and what they are currently going through.
My girlfriend broke up with me saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship, I asked all her friends if this was true and they said that she’s never really had a bf. I was basically her first and they said she was scared I want to show her that I won’t hurt her. I’m a guy that isn’t looking for anything physical I am 16 and I’ve never made out with a girl. I was raised with very strict Christian morals and so was she I want to get her back, I just don’t know how to do it.
We were doing really great, she was messaging me loads, she came over to mine during the week and we spent all weekend together, then all of a sudden it was like a switch had changed, she went really cold, I gave her some space and wasn’t pushing to speak to her. I think it has something to do with her EX who she was seeing almost a year and a half ago now, he has caused some trouble between us in the past. The following weekend I called her, she hung up on me to speak to someone else, she said she’d message me but never did. To try and not be too soft I decided to question her about it because I can’t be too nice all the time, otherwise she’d just walk all over me, she seemed okay until the following day she just lost it over the phone as I was on my way to a family meal. Again she told me all the usual things, I see you as family/ a friend. I tried not to react in the same way as before because obviously I’ve been through it once so I knew not to react the same way. I haven’t made contact with her since, I’m not as upset this time round, probably because I’ve dealt with this once before, but do you think its best to follow the 30 day rule again? I’ve seen she’s been looking at my social media posts and as you suggest I’ve been keeping away from all of hers.
Also, you need time to recover from the breakup and come out stronger, happier, and more positive. That’s just not going to happen in under 4 weeks, and it’s going to work against you if you try to do it in a shorter period of time.
Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with needing support sometimes; people have trainers to get in shape, go seek the help of nutritionists to stabilize their diet or go see an instructor to learn an instrument. Your love life is just as important as all these things, and you should invest in your heart too for your overall well-being!
I broke up with my ex 7 months ago, we have known each other for 4-5 years now he has been my best friend and we were on a relationship for a year and a half, he loved me the moment we met, but I took some time to love him back..
Before you can display your growth and showcase all that you’ve become it is necessary to establish a platform of communication. Quite simply it is impossible for you to get back with someone that you love if the two of you are not in touch. It may sound simple but I’ve encountered countless situation where people would play out different scenarios in their heads and create a mental block or come to the conclusion that they cannot get back with their ex even before having touched base with them again! Getting back with an ex after years apart is possible but you must first be able to talk to that person; not a just sporadic conversation here of there. You need to really be back in touch and create what I like to call an open platform of communication where you feel comfortable to reach out to someone without second guessing yourself.
This one is little tricky because anyone who thinks they are in love will believe there is a potential in the relationship with their ex. But it’s worth putting here. If you think that you really can have a great future with your ex, then it might be worth trying to pursue them. However, make sure you don’t spend your entire life just obsessing over your ex and hoping they will take you back. You should just try to get back together once and if it didn’t work, you should move on. Sometimes, a false hope can keep you holding on to lost cause. And before you know it, you’ve spent your entire life chasing the white whale.
Take things slow, and don’t pressure her to get back together if she isn’t ready. Work on your issues and prove to her that you can be the man she wants you to be and things would probably work itself out from there.
Make sure you sit down with your ex face-to-face to discuss how things will change. An in-person conversation may give you a tiny glimpse into your future as a renewed couple. “You have to be attuned to what they are doing in response to you,” says Dr. Davila. For example, if you’re chatting about how the two of you will communicate better and your partner keeps interrupting or blaming you, then you know the second time around won’t be any different. Actions always speak volumes in comparison to words.
the next day she uploads a picture we took of her and said thanx bae for picking out my dress. I asked her who she was calling bae, and she said a friend of hers , he calls her bae but they are just friends.
Unlike you, dear reader, I don’t have any ex-girlfriends. But if I did have an ex-girlfriend to get back with, I imagine I’d do so because it would feel easy. I imagine it would be like settling into an old groove in an old record that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I imagine it would be a very bad idea. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was exactly the right thing to do? Because there are different kinds of exes, is the whole thing.
After those three days, try to let the relationship go. Give yourself time to just be alone, spending time with family and friends and doing things you love. When you’re in a healthy place, you can begin looking for love once more.
It’s not at all uncommon for couples to breakup for a bit before reuniting, but a second-chance isn’t for everyone. INSIDER asked relationship coach Tiya Cunningham-Sumter for some signs that you should seriously consider a reconciliation.
Thank you for your share and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. I know how hard this can be. I think that in order for us to answer your question of whether she’ll give you another chance, we’ll have to delve deeply into the reason behind her distance. What pushed her away and are these things fixable? If you need help identifying this and developing a strategy to turn the situation around, please feel free to let me know, I’d love to work with you.
A few days later she got in contact with me and I arranged another date. Breakfast was all I could do due to me leaving for home. It went well. So well, that she wanted to see me once more before I left. On this date she mentioned that she would be in my city in April, and that we should get drinks when she’s there. Once again, no signs that she wanted to be kissed during this date either. She even said “I know you want to kiss me, but it’s not going to happen” and I was kind of bummed. I followed her to the interstate and before I got on it I decided to try my luck and I told her to pull over. She said “No, I know you want to kiss me and it’s not happening” so I kept my cool. On the way home, she called me and I mentioned to her that she could come out to my place to visit me next weekend. As soon as I said this, she got very angry and told me that the dates were just to “keep our friendship” and that we aren’t dating anymore. She went on to tell me she had already slept with another guy. I kept my composure as best as I could but needless to say this really confused me. Where did I go wrong?
Thank you for sharing your story. Your concerns are valid, especially when it comes to trying to get back with an ex after years apart. However, when it comes to determining next steps with your ex, try focussing more on what happened in your relationship with her and not with what happened in your failed marriage. The two relationships need to be kept separate. If you can determine what went wrong between you and your ex five years ago, and find solutions to avoid it happening again, you should be in good shape for the next shot. If you need help in this, feel free to reach out to us and book a session. We work with a variety of couples dealing with issues similar to yours.
Thanks for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear about your current situation. It’s evident that this situation is as dense as it is delicate, and so I invite you to schedule a session with me. I believe I can help.
And that’s when you contact them, you talk to them and then meet them. Just as they lay eyes on you, BOOM. That’s the new and improved you. YOU version 2.0. They can’t help but wonder what brought so much positive change in you. [otp_overlay]