4. Start a relationship with yourself. You can do this by creating a fake Facebook profile of a man much better-looking than your ex and indicating that you two are “in a relationship.” To add mystery, go with “It’s complicated.”

Let the conversation naturally progress. If your ex is doing great and reports that he or she is seeing other people, you might decide not to waste your time trying to convince him or her to get back together. But if your ex seems to harbor feelings for you, you can gradually bring up the possibility of giving things another try.

Well, the good news is that UncommonHelp.me has become incredibly popular, which means I’m able to help thousands of people a day with these articles. The bad news is that I’m totally swamped with email and comments, and so I have had to take the hard decision not to answer comments here any more.

The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t, and give him everything he wants to make him want to stay with you, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him.

Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.

Listen to your friends and family. Although you might feel defensive, those who are close to you and know you well often have good insight into your relationships. If someone you know and trust has a bad feeling about your relationship, you should take that as an indication that there could be trouble.

That’s great to hear! Well to answer your question, respect is very subjective and the reason people start messing around with others isn’t so much out of the lack of respect in my opinion, but when a need or requirement in the relationship isn’t met, thus causing the person to seek it with someone else. It could either be physical needs, emotional needs, or others. If you want to avoid this happening in the future, you might need to ask yourself and think from her point of view and wonder why she cheated the first time around, and prevent it.

If you live with the person- Your goal is to be a respectful roommate. Make sure any interactions you do have with the person are short, pleasant and to the point. Make sure you are as positive as possible.

According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate.[1] If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.

Honesty and good communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you learn how to be honest and communicate effectively in your relationship, then every time you both have an argument, it will just bring you both closer. Yes, you will get closer every time you have a disagreement.

Hello, my ex-boyfriend and I have recently been in contact. We dated back in high school when we were 15 years old, and continued the very long relationship for 10 years until we were 25. We had only ever experienced each other during that time and we were truly in love. We broke up because I found out that he was being unfaithful. Looking back on this situation now, he could have handled the honesty better, but we were inexperienced and dealing with high school and undergrad. I don’t have negative feelings towards him presently. Fast forward to today, six years with no contact until mid-December 2016 when I had to reach out to him due to a background investigation for new employment. He responded to the message I sent him and we have been talking on the phone almost every day since. This past weekend we decided to hang out together, and we really enjoyed each other’s company. Everything felt so right and comfortable so we made the decision to sleep together. It may have been too soon, but again it just felt normal. We haven’t discussed the “what happens now?” I honestly don’t know if either of us really knows where this will go, and I don’t know how to address the situation. I don’t know if it was just a casual encounter or if it means he is interested in beginning a relationship again. I want to ask him what this all means, but I also don’t want to come off as clingy, desperate, or needy. I know it is better for things to develop organically, but at the same time I am a person who likes to know what I am in for. How do I handle this situation?

So my girlfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me about a month ago because I cheated on her and didn’t confess because I was scared and didn’t want her to find out for fear of her breaking up with me. This was both of our first relationships. When I say cheat I am referring to me “allegedly” (I don’t remember due to alcohol) making out with a girl at a club. Our relationship had been going great for over a year. Not a single fight or problem. But I started getting these feelings of wanting to be with someone else (not someone in particular, just a different girl) and the relationship took a bad turn. We just lost contact, stopped seeing eachother as often and got into a couple fights. She found out and broke up with me and when she found out I was crushed. Not because I got caught but because I genuinely felt horrible. She is a great girl and didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated her because I know she would never have done that to me. It just sucks that I had to find out how I truly felt about her the hard way. I was a mess when we broke up and I have only contacted her twice during the breakup so far, but we did speak about everything on the phone and really we got no where. She doesn’t trust me and is asking me why she should give me another chance and I am trying to explain to her that it was meaningless and I don’t even remember it. I feel like I should have waited to talk to her but its too late. it has been over a week since that phonecall with zero contact. I am at the one month no contact period and I’m not sure where to go from here. Please help.

Avoid laziness. The idle mind is the source of all misery. This is the time for you to try new things or do things you never thought you would have time to do. Force yourself if you have to. You’ll thank yourself later for having the tenacity.

Yes, by “do it” we mean have sex. Intimacy is an important part of a vital relationship, and one of the first areas to suffer if feelings are floundering. But sexual encounters can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner. “Of the many forms of couple intimacy—a smile across a room, a kiss, a touch—sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, coauthor of Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship…Without Leaving Your Bedroom. “This is especially true if sex results in emotional fulfillment, better communication, security and reassurance.”

First, I think it is important to understand how jealousy can work to your advantage. Since I am a male I feel I can explain my genders feelings towards this particular topic. In my opinion I think it is ok to get jealous. However, I don’t think it is ok to get overly jealous. If your ex boyfriend would get jealous every time you would talk to another man or every time you went out then I would say you should really revisit your thinking on getting back together with him. Nevertheless, I want to tell you an interesting story about jealousy.

It is easy to get caught up in the passing of time. Most relationships that continue to repeat the cycle (breakup, get back together, break up again). They do so because time allows them to forget about the things that went wrong and hold on to the things that went right. The problem with falling victim to time is that you will realize shortly after getting back together that you are still the same people with the same issues. And now all you have is time wasted. 

Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won’t help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don’t let him see that you’ve actually found someone. Don’t post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.

On the other hand, you don’t want to stick with a breakup that the two of you regret if there’s a chance you could resolve your issues. Your breakup may have been a spur of the moment decision motivated by intense emotions.

The main thing you are trying to do with “remembering the good times” is to get them to think about the most positive aspects of your previous relationship. This means that you are going to have to be as positive as you possibly can.

honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..

Me and my ex also my child’s father have been separated for over 2 it wasn’t on good terms. He cheated and became verbally abusive, cause me my job and my family and friends dislikes him. Every relationship he goes in he’s not happy or thinks about me. I also went in a relationship fast after me and my ex break up and now I’m also not too happy in my current relationship. I still have love for my ex also. He said he change always crying for me yo take him back but would it be a good idea to get back with him?

By getting in your life again you are actually showing to your ex girlfriend that you are actually healing yourself. By healing and moving on, you are creating many attraction traits in your personality that will attract your ex girlfriend back once again.

Now, the texting rules as mentioned in the video I linked you to, will do a lot of the work to make her WANT to hang out, and as soon as she WANTS to hang out, then arranging to meet should be very easy. I’ll talk you through what to say to set up a meet with her regardless, though.

We broke up just a few days ago. The guy is younger and has no experience on relationships nor has he kissed someone before him… Before we broke up he said he wanted the same “magic” we had on the beggining… Should I cool for a month before trying something with him again, like even just a friendship

Thank you for your share. I know that getting back with an ex after years apart is possible, but will require a lot of time and effort. Is it possible that a lot of what happened during sex was territorial? Could he be upset that, since you two have extensive history, you ended up having children with another man in another relationship? Rather that worry about the stress on the future, spend time really assessing what you want from a man and whether he can give it to you. If you focus on this, the rest will unravel as it should. If you need help, I encourage you to book a session. I’m here to support.

It takes time for people to remove negative association after a breakup and start missing their ex. You have to give it to them. Besides, you have to prove to yourself that you can live without your ex for at least 30 days. And more importantly, you have to work on yourself and become a more confident and happy person.  Unless you make a positive change in yourself, your ex will not be able to convince themselves to get back together with you.(Read more about the no contact rule here.)

My boyfriend of 8 incredible months just broke up with me kind of out of the blue. Granted we were doing long distance, but we had the most incredible connection and were madly in love. Him so I think more than me. He had been in a relationship for 6.5 years over 2 years ago, and him and all of his friends and family when I met them, said they had never seen him as happy and as in love with anyone, as he was with me. Same with my friends, they told me they have never met two people who were so happy together. I got the incredible opportunity to go and spend 5 weeks with my company where he lives in London, and we had the best time. Spent every moment together, and got along so incredibly. He even talked with my parents on the phone on Valentines Day, and said he couldn’t wait to see them this summer. He told me when I was leaving that it just reaffirmed everything he thought, but made him realize he needed to get his stuff together for me. He even had me trying on rings, and practiced proposing. When I left it was extremely hard for the both of us. My company is working on relocating me out there by the end of this year, but financially its not going well for him, and i know he can’t really spend money right now. I offered to fly and see him, but he wouldn’t allow it. Its been 4 weeks since I’ve been out there, and he all of a sudden started pulling away and told me something happened the day after I left and he doesn’t know what it was. He tried figuring it out and couldn’t. He still loved me and cared for me, and was still was sexually attracted to me, but he said he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t even list a reason, he just kept saying he didn’t know, and said he can’t do the distance. Even though after at the beginning of the conversation, he said he wasn’t ready to break up with me. I’m extremely confused and have a trip already booked to see him in May. He tried contacting me two days after he broke up with me as I gave him an ultimatum that he broke it off I wouldn’t speak to him again. He was checking in on me, and I ignored him and he got mad. I wrote him back today and was arguing with him, something of which we never even did, and told him I needed space, as he was getting defensive. Do you have any advice? Do you think there’s still hope for this?