If I don’t do anything right now, they’ll fall in love with this new person and forget about me forever. I better go over there and do everything that this article has told me not to do. Including begging, using pity, telling them how much I love them, agreeing to all their conditions (be a doormat). And if they don’t open the door, I’ll just stand outside and call and text them all day. It will be even better to tell my ex how this new person is totally wrong for them and what a big mistake they are making by being in a relationship with this _______(INSERT DEROGATORY REMARK).
To a casual observer that may sound really risky but personally I love women with that belief that after they get their boyfriend back they will be with him forever. Those are the type of women who work really hard to create that NEW and BETTER relationship.
Thank you. So you are saying it won’t be a bad move considering his ex wife is going to be on his mind that day and it will be the end of an era? Will it not make him think that I am pouncing on him the moment he is available? Or it will come across as me being there for him on a hard day, irrepsective of what has happened between us? Is there a chance he will think I am inconsiderate to message him that day to bring myself into the day as well?
Hey Ryan, so I’m not worried that she’s seeing other people, atleast not yet. She didn’t date much before me and from everything I can tell, she isn’t dating much or at all right now. She initiated the breakup and asked to still be friends, but she’s got an icy demeanor towards me just about anytime we interact. She’s said that she’s mad at me but refuses to tell me what about. Something is bothering her but she’s not telling me and I promise I’m not calling her everyday, begging her or anything like that. It’s been a couple months like this and it’s after no contact ended, how can I get her to start communicating with me?
Given the circumstances, he may either be currently unsure on how he feels about you and is trying to figure things out, or he may be pushing you away because something happened, in which case you’ll have to figure which of the 2 it is. It’s also surprising that he said yes to being exclusive but retracts it the very next day, stating that he has issues he wants to sort out first and not telling you about these things before hand.
she’s on a year programe in another city, we see once in a month. which isn’t enough closure for me. she’s been on this program for about 5months now. I feel due to this she lost attraction towards me, as we only see once a month, and our calls or texts ended up in arguments.
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So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger.
Hello guys this is testimony that this NC stuff absolutely works! Ryan you guys are geniuses dude. I got my girl back! I didn’t think it was working at first and I panicked a lot during the whole NC process. She even started messing with her ex and one other person. So my advice if you really know and want your ex back then keep pushing everyone! it works with time. also focus on yourself. This website is very helpful. Now to Ryan.. thanks dude again. I do have one last thing I need your help with. I realized that she clearly didn’t respect me or our relationship before because she was able to so easily start messing around with someone we both know and someone I didn’t like. Yes we are together now and things have been great! My question is, how do I get her to respect me more? she has not done anything to disrespect me since we got back together , however I want to know how to build strong respect from her, so that she is loyal to me no matter what? if she had respect, she would have been loyal and not cross the line with other folks while we were broken up.
I may do a review of the book you mention. If so I will reference your excellent comment. Thanks so much for writing in, and also for your encouraging feedback about my perspective of hope and attempts to change before writing off an abusive person.
Getting dumped sucks. I feel for you but don’t worry we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex gave you for the break up is really why they broke up with you. This may sound a bit mean but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
It seems that relationships become completely different things over time. An initial relationship has completely different values from a ‘vintage’ relationship. Furthermore a relationship has different values depending on your age. When relationships being, both partners have a distorted impression of each other. They are high on emotion and are in the attraction stage thus those annoying little ticks that drive you insane are unnoticeable under all of the excitement. The middle stage is withdrawal. The chemicals start to ebb after about 2 years and this is where the rationalization arguments begin. Where you argue because you are irritated and project your withdrawal on to your partner because they are no longer on the pedestal that you yourself put them. Now this where most people say good bye, or sometimes through some sense of duty and loyalty they never resolve the problems they just endure them and the unhappy relationship continues. Some others they reach another plane of a relationship. Where that person becomes a part of you. You have gone through the withdrawal and now you are life partners you are one body. In this throw away world, not enough people have enough humility or self awareness to reach this level. They are too busy trying to find their next fix after during the withdrawal phase. Sad…
You may hear from mutual friends that he called you a bad name/s or you may get the feeling that he hates you or wants nothing to do with you. Don’t worry, he is emotional and doesn’t mean it. Besides, after 30 days he will change his tune.