“I can see now,” Peter explained to her, “that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I’m so glad that now I’m looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I’ve found one, and I’m thrilled at the prospect.”  

A few days afterwards, we spoke on the phone for two hours and had a great conversation. We talked for two hours, one about the relationship and what happened, and the other just general talking, laughing, and having fun. A day or two after that, I told her I had a date, to which she got kind of upset but tried to brush it off by acting “happy” even though I heard her cry on the phone. The date ended up being cancelled, but I feel like that might’ve been a step backwards.

Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention last night after a stressful week I had some anxiety and said some insecure things to her while we were talking. Stuff along the line of “you were my best friend” and “second chance” were mentioned. I realized my mistake changed the subject almost immediately and continued to have a good conversation, but it was a moment of weakness nonetheless. Do I just continue on as normal?

Then she say she dont want to and 1 week after my sister bday i ask her sister where she could be ? Because my sister invited her to my sister birthday party and she dont even reply it. Then suddenly at night she texted me that why you texted my family. Now everybody know and she tell me that she cant be with me anymore because we keep arguing and stuff. And she say for now she cant be in a relationship kind of thing.

i have a crush on this guy at school, and whenever i take the tests, they always say mixed signals or yes, so i don’t know….. like, we practically have every class together (except art) and i usually sit with him if we don’t have assigned seats in that class and he’s always ok with it. whenever we talk he makes eye contact with me and usually gets his hair out of his eyes (it always gets in his face and its ADORABLE) and he loves telling jokes….i sit with him and his group of guy friends at lunch, and whenever he makes a joke to the group, we make eye contact for likes three seconds then break, and he always asks me for food, and occasionally i go up to him and give him the food, and he always says thank you, and he constantly compliments me on how nice i am and the most physical contact we’ve made is accidental hand touching when giving each other stuff and shoulder taps, nothing more, and he talks to a lot of girls from the other grades (7th and 8th and 6th) and from our grade, too. He also loves teasing and talking to one of my best friends, but my friend doesn’t have a crush on him (she told me who she has a crush on, and its someone completely different) and i don’t know what to do…HELP! If you have a reply, plz put @lovebird at the beginning so i know its for me. 🙂

Dating Diversions has created a quiz that attempts to determine your dating strengths and weaknesses by asking you a series of questions and examinging the answers you give. You can begin the quiz immediately below:

Early life experiences form templates for later experiences. Peter’s reactions to his current situation consequently repeated the abandonment feeling he had felt as a kid whose parents wanted him to be seen but not heard.

I absolutely connect with a lot of what you said in the article about working through your feelings and trying to actually make positive changes that will help you in the long run, no matter what happens.

I am usually into elder people and i have strong like really strong feelings for my math teacher like ….? I saw him and zoned out and started dreaming he doesn’t teach me but I’m allowed to ask any doubts if I have from him. Well the good thing is I started studing math coz Im like good in bio chem n physics but hate math n dont study it but I eventually end up getting good grades in both.I love him n thats a big thing for me.I m not nerdy I m suoe friendly every1 in school knows me I am popular but at the same time good in studies. I am completely aware that this relationship cant be possibble but I cant study sometimes but heck i love him

My main suggestion is to keep doing more of what you have been doing, that is, talking openly, letting go of any pressuring of each other, appreciating and enjoying the positive sides of your relationship, and taking on faith that if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.

Although you say you don’t want a serious relationship and only want a friends with benefit type of thing, it seems to me that your emotions say otherwise, or else you wouldn’t really mind or care if he was talking to others or had walls since it should not matter. I think that you need to be more aware as well if you’re trying to push someone away, as sometimes we do that in the form of picking fights or faults with our partner. I suggest just focusing on yourself first to work on whatever issues you may have and build yourself back up before considering any relationship.

when she came back for the Xmas/new year, we saw, she asked me to bring over food and drinks on Xmas day, I did, I kissed her but lightly, and said our good nights, cause I didn’t want to push it far.

6-month package If you’re searching for an extensive understanding of what makes you who you are, look no further! Obtain 6-month access to all of Queendom’s professionally-developed assessments and learn more about yourself through our Relationship, IQ, Career, Health, and Attitude & Lifestyle tests. (Limit of one Full report per test per month applies.)  $49.95

First, we broke because of her doubt on me with another lady. But it was a very fair relationship and I was almost like a mentor for her and she helped me in some financial troubles. I kept it hidden not to worry her for a long time and she caught us over phone red-handed. That was a very serious and she resigned. But I beg pardon and I explained everything she forgave me. she back again and normal. but so suspicious in every relation even with my relatives. it happened once more when I kept hidden something not to worry her and broke again. Again managed to get but She asked me to cut all suspicious relationships and I accepted. I’m so sincere to her till this moment and never thought about any other dating relationship even before I met or after we fell in love. she is the second lady with whom I had the physical relationship in my life after my wife.

Again, your instincts are screwing with you. Trust me, no one takes their ex back out of pity. No one is attracted to someone who is miserable. And even if your ex came back because of this, do you really want your ex to be with you just because of pity? Or do you want them to respect and love you?

The following Ex Back Quiz will show you exactly how much your ex still loves, needs, and wants you in their life. If you answer each question honestly, the final score will provide valuable insight into the best ways to reconnect, rekindle, and eventually, reconcile with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

By the way, the best results I’ve seen for people with abusive anger is with the energy therapy techniques of Bradley Nelson, which Dale Petterson in my office does for my clients. It’s quite amazing how these techniques seem to pull the anger out by the roots….though multiple interventions plus conventional couple and individual treatment have to be part of the treatment strategy.

Write in a journal- Sometimes your mind is constantly racing with thoughts about your ex boyfriend and since you can’t talk to him for 30 days it might be a good idea to jot your thoughts down in a journal.

As stated above, I personally prefer texting over any method of contact for a number of reasons. If you are a little hesitant to text then I am hoping this section can sway you. Lets look at each method individually starting with..

Hi, my boyfriend of almost 1 year broke up with me just a week ago. It was very hard for both of us, as I love him with all my heart and he seemed genuinely upset about it too. we didn’t have a fight or anything, he just said he thinks i love him more than he loves me and isn’t sure if this is what he wants. when we left the place where we broke up, we were both very sad. yesterday i bumped into him, and he was very nice to me, we even chatted for a while about our school work. he just seemed very casual, relaxed and happy to see me. i plan on not contacting him for a while, but is this relationship already a lost cause if he seems all casual and treating me as a friend only a week after he left me? does this show that he actually never really cared enough about me?

You’ll have to start by being more honest with her, and making an attempt at showing your sincerity at changing to convince her. She may not think of you as much towards you but it doesn’t mean she has lost all feelings for you. If you really want her back, make those changes first, and let your actions show her that you’re capable of doing so.

Yes if you haven’t done NC before, and have still been in contact with him through the 3 months, it might be better to actually proceed with the No Contact rule to separate yourself from the situation.

2. You also need some space and time. You need to get a hold of yourself and gain some perspective. The fact is, you are a mess after the breakup. And you need to calm down and analyze your relationship thoroughly to realize whether or not being with your ex is in your best interest. It could be that you are just missing your ex. You need to learn to enjoy your life without your ex. You need to prove to yourself that you can be happy without your ex. You will eventually realize that you DON’T NEED YOUR EX to be happy. Maybe you’ll still WANT them, but there is a big difference between needing something and wanting something.

Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.

Sometimes we’re just so aware of how we’re acting and the intentions we bring across that whatever we do becomes unnatural. It’s important to be yourself at the end of the day and build up a bond without such ‘motives’ in mind. Remember how he fell for you the very first time. It wasn’t because of motives but simply two people who connected and liked each other. That’s how you should be going about things.

Making a positive change in your physical appearance is going to give you a fresh look. You are going to feel new and you are going to feel better. And when your ex sees you after the no contact period, they are going to see a new you. Here are a few things you can do.

I loved her, it was after her coming back for the 2nd time which triggered me to do all the critical thinking, and rebuild what im supposed to be doing. 6 months on, that little conversation, in addition to me still playing games(cut down alot, also been saving up,no infidelity) made her left me for the 3rd time.

I’m on day 31 of no contact. You told me to do 45 day no contact. I was on holiday: I’m back now and I feel extra worse, the worst ever. I miss him so much but I feel he’s still bitter and the no contact work. Can you please help? Obv after 45 days I have to do the text message but how do I do it if I’ve already sent a no contact message last month after 26 days of no contact? What do I say? And what if he doesn’t reply. Please help. Why am I feeling emotional worse? And he hasn’t even contacted me

Some people say that time heals all…or if not all, at least calms folks down so that they have a shot of enjoying pleasant interactions again. If you’ve been apart only two weeks, it might be a good idea to relax and rejuvenate for a while before you try to reconnect.

Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?

He does not seem emotionally capable of dealing with serious issues and would rather avoid it altogether, hence why he leaves you in a state of limbo because he himself doesn’t want to deal with it. Sometimes in this case, it would be better for you to make the choice and stick with it because he may never do it on your behalf.

Hi ive been dating my partner for 6 months now. Everything was going perfect for us both.she fell pregnant and i proposed and we got engaged what we both wanted we were both so happy.she decided to have an abortion due to we both wernt financially stable and didnt plan the pregnancy.its was an emotional time for both of us individually. I unfortunately didnt show her support or comfort her during this life changing experience and i made a regretful unmeanful decision and broke up with her.we have been separated for 2 months now and we meet up a month ago caught up for 2 days she mentioned her feelings we still there altho she doesnt want any comments on a relationship at this stage. Until i become more stable and fix some issues i have in my life.I have acknowledged my behavior as i was expressing my hurt emotions and feelings towards her and i begged alittle and didny get me anywhere.. she isnt respondingto my messages or call I’ve respect our situation and havnt its been bit over 2 weeks ive made no contact,until Christmas day i wished her a merry Christmas i didnt get a reply. Im making positive changes in my life and improving my issues. I need some professional guidance and advice aswell as steps to reconnect with my ex.. I sincerely appreciate your understanding and support. Regards Theo

I still love him but it’s complicated. Him and his other ex are like on and off or whatever and he doesn’t want to be with me because he thinks I’m perfect and that I deserve more than him when really the only thing I need is him. Our bond is strong and we can trust each other, wish I can be with him. 🙁

Yes, now I know that I had feelings in it. I was picking up fights because I was afraid of them. That is why I want to start it again with feelings and without fears. I wanna give it a chance. Yesterday I wrote him: I written down what I have learnt about myself during the relationship but I did not mentioned that I wanted him back or anything similar. He read it in a minute but no answer. I was not surprised. (Basically I was surprised because he read it immediately.)As for no contact rule, I feel our relationship was different: I was not clingy. Not that was the problem, quite the opposite. I feel I have to give him a way to communicate. Or am I wrong? [otp_overlay]