I broke up with my ex because I didn’t feel ready for a serious relationship (we were 16) and now a year later I realised I truly loved him and I want him back so badly, but he’s now dating my friend and I don’t want to upset her…

Hi Ryan, I’ve been feeling anxiety lately due to my ex has been dating her ex before me lately. It hurts so bad and its killing me because I love and miss her so much. Feels like she moved so fast and doesn’t care about what we had, which is crazy to me. We had such a strong connection, yet she seems un phased with moving on. I feel like she is slipping away from me more and more each day. Like I should be pursuing her now. I remember she told me once she likes persistence chase after her. To see if you’re willing to work to get her. I asked her before the nc thing started if she wanted me to stop chasing her. She said she wasn’t sure if she did or didn’t. my heart hurts because she spent Christmas and will spend new years with this other person. We were suppose to spend these times together before the break up. She text me yesterday and sent a photo and asked if I remember where it was from. it was a pic from a place we use to eat at all the time.. I replied yes..i couldn’t tell if she was missing me or just letting me know she was at our place to eat with someone else.. I really want my girl back soon! 🙁

Yes if you haven’t done NC before, and have still been in contact with him through the 3 months, it might be better to actually proceed with the No Contact rule to separate yourself from the situation.

It feels exceptionally terrible to be losing the love of your life, especially when you are about to propose to her, mentally and financially ready for her, and also on a festive season. Im lost, i really want her back and wished that i can still work things out, but i know, the ball is no longer in my court. I can only keep improving, keep working and praying.

Break ups are tough. Trying to figure out what a guy may be thinking AFTER the break up…well, sometimes that can be even tougher. Hopefully, this quiz can give you a better understanding on whether or not your ex-boyfriend really wants you back

Hang in there, and focus on recovering right now. If you want her back in your life, you’re going to have to make changes to yourself especially on areas she didn’t like. You should take some time off from her and distance yourself right now to work on your own issues, before trying anything again.

Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. And the only way you can do it is by understanding yourself, loving yourself, appreciating what you have, understanding your purpose in life and pursuing it.

“I can see now,” Peter explained to her, “that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I’m so glad that now I’m looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I’ve found one, and I’m thrilled at the prospect.”  

I have this huge crush on this one boy and the only time I get to talk to him /see him is when we get out of are class’s and this other girl she likes him to so I am not sure if he likes me because during lunch the teachers moved us one 5th grade on one side of the cafeteria and the other 5th grade on the other side of the cafeteria and when the girl that is not my friend when she sits next to him and he moves away from her because he doesn’t like her and he is not a person who likes to go out with people because he is shy and I asked his friends if he likes anyone and Thay say yes someone in my class and I ask him if he likes anyone and he says no and he is always looking at me or the other girl that is not my friend and when we are in class the girl that is not my friend she is in the same class as his and I’m always worried about him:)

Then have a conversation with him. Tell him that you don’t want to repeat the past relationship again and you want to start taking things slow. That means you should not have sex for at least two weeks after you start dating. Since your past relationship was only based on sex, it’s best to avoid having sex for a while so you don’t go back to the same old patterns. Only meet him outside and go on dates with him. Take your time to figure out if a relationship with him can work. And if he is not willing to take it slow, you should be willing to walk away (he will eventually come around when he realizes you are strong and he can’t make you go back to the same old relationship pattern.)

If you have kids together- The last thing you want is to come off like a jerk. So, if you are in this situation make sure you keep your interactions to a minimum. Keep things short, simple and positive.

My ex boyfriend keeps hanging around our hood,he has friends there. I have a baby boy with him and hes 6months. When he sees me he looks down and doesn’t talk yo us. I’ve practised no contact with him for two months and since I work I only meet with him accidentally once in a while. I still Love him. But I dont show emotions when I see him. What could be going on his mind? Is he over me? Still not talking. We datrd for a year.

We are both still in love. We go to separate colleges and things got harder and now she’s depressed and feels like she doesn’t love herself anymore so we broke up so she could love herself and it was the hardest thing to let her go. I know that I want her and I want her back but she needs time.

Dr. Heitler, what a great article! These are really good tips, I will definitely read this again before I see him. This is exactly the kind of positivity I want to emulate with him. I am very willing to put any pressures aside and just focus on trying to rekindle a new relationship where we trust and enjoy each other again.

In the search for love, it is important to know where your strengths lie. Understand them and you can use them to your advantage. It is even more important to know your weaknesses. If these can be improved, your odds of finding that person of your dreams will increase.

I am concerned that he might got scared or started to keep distance because in the last 2 conversation I started to try to build up attraction. As he knows all my lady charm tricks, I think he figured out what I am trying to do… I feel the need of a break, so I have decided to give myself 2 weeks of free time, as I don’t want to end up again desperate and needy, and I feel like these 2 weeks would be enough time for him to finish the exams and to get used again to the school life.

also he has already given her diamonds for her recent birthday, seems to be moving fast. And I can’t help but thinking of him proposing to her soon since they already knew each other so well. No, I don’t believe she ever cheated or started this with him while we were together.

You could text him on that day, wishing him all the best and a comforting text, which may help break the ice and ease on the emotions he may be feeling. See how it works out from there, and continue accordingly.